Tuesday, December 29, 2009


I want to be a good wife to my husband. I really do. Not just another wife, I want to be a superwife. I wanted to make my hubby happy, cuz seeing him happy in return never fails to make me happy.

I did not have much examples of a newly married superwife that inspired me. My cousins were all depending on maids, or mums or some in a long distance marriage, so I really did not have any idea how superwife should be like.

I've always inspired by Posh and Becks since they are always with each other through thick and thin. And always ALWAYS holding hands in even the most ridiculous situation. So I began to call this one newly married couple in my office, Posh and Becks --> Indonesian version, cuz they're foreigner. Haha. They would always hold hands each time I saw them, even when they were eating. (Seriously! My friend, once even got disgusted with them)

See, the wife was a lecturer back in their country. And both of them came here because the hubby is furthering his Master. The wife had to stop working completely, and each day is filled with following the hubby to office. Which I think is a big sacrifice, from a career woman to a full time housewife, with no entertainment, no friends, and her life is her husband. Amazing, huh?

So, yesterday, this lucky husband came to my office and told me that he just finished his research. Trust me, I hardly even talk to this guy. But, he came eventually, with the wife. And told me that because of that, to say thanks to Allah, the wife cooked some Indonesian foods for everyone. Sweet kan?

And thatfood, which I forgot the name, tasted like one of the best thing I've ever tasted. Probably because of the sincerity of this wife. And while I was eating that, I stopped and pondered, how thoughtful that wife was. I couldn't stop thinking of her. The husband must be really proud and happy having her as a wife.

Today, as I was browsing through fb, i saw the husband's status..

Alhamdulillah Alat research ini sukses dan kami sujud syukur di Lab, semua ini tak kan ada artinya tanpa pengorbanan dan perjuangan isteri saya yang selalu menemani saya dengan sabar siang malam di Lab dan selalu memberikan semangat dan membantu memeriksa pekerjaan mahasiswa dan memasak makanan yang enak2. Semoga Allah... yang mampu membalas semua kebaikan isteriku dan juga semua pengorbanan orang tuaku.

And when I read that, I immediately replied..

Your wife inspires me to be a good wife later on.

And I seriously mean it. There goes, I finally have a newlywed superwife as an inspiration. Alhamdulillah, doa dimakbulkan.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Today I'm early to work. Owh.. wait, my definition of early is that i came at 8.02am. My working hour starts at 8.ooam. ;p Normally i would come at 8.30am, (but i compensate that with coming home late, really late, i work nearly 12 hours a day), so today i'm considered as early. I have this habit of being not punctual. Even for my classes during undergrad, what more for work. But as if that is not bad enough, i normally hardly care if i got scolded for that, realllllyyyyyyyyy baaadddddddd habit ok!

But today, i am so motivated to come early to work everyday. Why? Here's a story about a girl named Suraya in my tuition centre. A typical normal story but i wondered why it touches me so deeply.

As i mentioned before, i was a part time tutor for a Standard 1 students in this particular tuition centre. Once in a while, i developed this habit of being late for tuition, though not as bad, but still. Last Tuesday, after buka, i was so full and having a lot of troubles to get up to work. Pemalas.. Ish.. ish.. After a bit of whining and complaining and knowing that i was going to be 5 mins late for the class, i parked my car and rushed to my class.

I saw these 3 girls from my class were playing with the whiteboard. (They have a funny habit of getting excited at erasing somthing from the board. For example, after my class, they would eventually fight, i repeat FIGHT to erase the board. And i was gladly giving them turns of who would rub the board). Deep in my heart again, was complaining on how naughty they could be. I mean i always love kids, but these kids gave me a second thought. Ahha.

Suraya was one of the naughtiest girl in class. Last week, she was absent, the week before was exam week so i did not have to come, meaning i havent seen her for three weeks in a row. As soon as they saw me coming, Suraya gave me the sweetest smile EVER, i seriously mean EVER, and half screaming, "Teacheeerrrrr" ever so manja that my heart just melted there, like a chocolate bar during summer.

See, i learned a lot of things from them, more than i could probably teach them. And with Suraya on that day, i learned that once u gave a little piece of your happiness to a person sometimes, u just gave an impact that is way beyond whatever u could think of.

Being so happy yesterday, when the office phone rang, instead of complaining, i picked up chirpily and it was one of my friend's supervisor. He would normally said hello in a very serious and monotonous way. But after hearing my "Hello" yesterday, he got so chirpy in return and replied in the same upbeat tone as mine.

Just a thought, imagine that Suraya is this supervisor's daughter. Once he got so happy with the phone call he received earlier, he might went back home and shared part of his happiness to her daughter, Suraya. And being so happy at home, Suraya went to the tuition centre and share her happiness with me, cycle of happiness, everybody comes home happy and satisfied.

Just an innocent act of kindness from an innocent little girl and i am fully motivated for the whole week. Suraya.. :)

Monday, August 17, 2009

Simply platonic

I was there on Saturday to witness his graduation. I remembered the first time i met him 6 years back in Upten. We didn't talk much. He asked for my number from Mel. We chatted online, then on the phone for minutes, then for hours, went to the same class together and before I knew it, life is never the same without him.

We went shopping together. We went out for dinner together. He would always ALWAYS picked me up (since I am not allowed to drive at night) although when he stayed in Shah Alam and had to come all the way to Equinne, then we had dinner in Mid Valls, and he would send me back to Equinne and then back to Shah Alam. Before we went back, we normally would stay outside my house and just talked about crap. About UFOs, aliens and all the silly things in this world that only we cared about. He was so knowledgeable that he taught me a lot of thing.. good or bad.. but simply because he said he'd knew i'd manage to differentiate them.

He was not the best person for others. A lot of my friends thought i was weird cuz he was a bit different from others. But what people did not know is that he was there with me.. through thick and thin. And the very best part about us is that; we never had any weird feelings for each other or talked about any feelings at all.. if both of us never beleived about platonic relationship before, this is the first time.

There was one time, when i had the worst time of my life. Last year. He went all the way from Shah Alam to fetch me from office and bring me jalan2 all around Putrajaya for days, although he was sick. So sick until one time he couldn't even drive and we dropped by at the clinic. How lucky i am to have such beautiful soul as my bestfriend?

Through all the years, sometimes we didn't manage to contact each other for weeks.. still when we talked to each other, it feels like we're with each other all the way, though this post might sounded quite romantic in some ways, i tau u tau what i meant. i tak tau if u ever going to read this, but if u do, Naqiuddin Basharudin.. there are so many things i would like to thank you for, as for now i would like you to know how proud i am in your graduation day :)

If you remembered one simple message u sent me about 5 years back, "I hope our friendship continues to grow beyond this stupid uni", well...

Monday, July 27, 2009

A tribute to Yasmin Ahmad

Tan Hong Ming: "Her name is Umi. Umi Qazrina, I like her"

Narrator: "Why do you like her?"

Tan Hong Ming: "She wears earring.."

Some part of my most fav ad that i can remember. Percintaan Tan Hong Ming, Merdeka ad by Yasmin Ahmad.

You see, I am not a big fan of Yasmin. Yup i watched all her movies. You can love a lot of thing about her movies, and you can hate as much equally. So i'm in the neutral line. Some controversial parts she showed were beyond my limit, but then again.. you can never hate Yasmin.. you just can't. She touches the heart ever so deeply.

I remembered when Sepet came out, I didn't have any Malay guy friends in uni, all my guy friends were Chinese. After Sepet, one of my Chinese guy friend finally confessed to my girlfriend that he liked her. Even more, he said that he had the gut to admit her feeling because of Sepet. And we eventually got even closer than before.. up until today.

Yasmin Ahmad, we lost such a beautiful soul, semoga roh Yasmin dicucuri rahmat. Al-fatihah..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

PPSMI - I finally can have a say in this matter.

Since currently i am a tutor for Math and Science for Standard 1, i think that i can finally have a say in this matter.

See, when they first started this whole thing 6 years back, i thought that it was a great idea. I didn't have that much of a problem cuz in my secondary school before, we learned math in both languages; malay and english. But some of my friends from other schools are struggling to catch up during our foundation year cuz in uni it was 100% in English. So i thought, heyy ok what science and math in English. At least they can learn faster.

But then since March i have been teaching Math and Science on and off. Until i have been accepted as a permanent tutor in my tuition centre currently still teaching Math and Science. I have thought F2 and F3 students and Std 1 until Std 6 students. Then, i realized one thing.


Especially in problem solving.

They are good in addition and subtraction, they excel in calculating money and time, but they didn't understand what the question wanted.

The head of the tuition centre kept on reminding me to teach 100% in English, but they do not understand what i'm saying esp the primary schools student. So i have to use bilanguage, whether he likes it or not. Every problem solving needs to be translated as in I am an English teacher.

Example, Science question standard 1:

From the pictures, determine whether they are 'stem' or 'branch'.

After explaining how branch looks like and how stem looks like in English, my students asked me, "Teacher, stem tu ape sebenarnye bahasa melayu?" Yup, so much in finding some definition in English that a standard 1 students can understand about stem.

That is one thing. Or, it can be the other thing. This one student named Nisya in my class is a very adorable girl, 4 years old but her mum sent her to Std 1 class. So adorable, she always wear a pyjama with tudung labuh, haiyoo.. so cute! Anyways, her English is first class. In fact her English is better than some of the Std 1's student.

Then one day, while translating the problem solving in malay, i accidentally asked them in Malay, "So.. Tambah ke tolak?" Then the class went silent until Nisya asked me, "Tambah tu addition ke teacher?"

When they calculated the answer it was "21". Again i made a silly mistake by asking Nisya, "Nisya dapat dua puluh satu tak?"

Nisya's answer, "No, i got twenty one"

My reply, "Twenty one is dua puluh satu Nisya"

Then my other student said, "dua puluh satu tu bukan twelve ke Teacher?"

Haiyaaa... Rosak bahasa. I mean, although i can't really converse in skema Malay, I'm kind of good in writing in Malay. I got A1 for my Malay Language SPM, that means i must be really good kan.

So, the conclusion is, saya sangat bersetuju PPSMI dimansuhkan. Walaupun begitu, saya sedikit tidak berpuas hati sekiranya pemansuhan tersebut berlaku dengan kadar segera kerana ini akan menimbulkan masalah kepada murid-murid saya.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

"I never did a days work in my life-it was out all fun"

Since I am in Electrical engineering field, perhaps one of the famous people that inspires me the most is Thomas Edison, the bulb inventor. He failed almost 2000 times before his bulb was working. And his reply to those who asked about his failure is very simple and inspiring, "I didn't fail. I just found 2 thousand ways how not to create a light bulb."

Here are some other famous quotes from Mr. Edison that i treasured most:

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

"Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration."

"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk."

"Negative results are just what I want. They’re just as valuable to me as positive results. I can never find the thing that does the job best until I find the ones that don’t."

"The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense. "

"I never did a days work in my life-it was out all fun"

Really, it was and still is fun here doing my Masters. And you Mister, you will not let me down with your negative commnets that you don't even sure whether it's true or not.

i will, i repeat I WILL pass my viva perfectly by this year, insya Allah. And you are not bringing me down.

I am in the progress of enhancing my algorithm, and i will be an expert in that field one day. I really will. Ameen. :)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


If you, if you could return,
don't let it burn, don't let it fade.
I'm sure I'm not being rude, but it's just your attitude,
It's tearing me apart, It's ruining everything.

I swore, I swore I would be true,
and honey, so did you.
So why were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?
But I'm in so deep.
You know I'm such a fool for you.
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?

I thought the world of you.
I thought nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong. I was wrong.
If you, if you could get by,
trying not to lie,
Things wouldn't be so confused and I wouldn't feel so used,
But you always really knew..

Monday, May 25, 2009

Are u in love or are u in love with the memories?

People change. It's a fact.

I used to love 911 (the boyband) a lot. My fav song is 'The day we find love'.

Then as I got older, i didn't listen to boybands anymore. Boybands were so childish. The song were so jiwang. And I started to listen to Hip Hop. I was all obsessed about Eminem.

After a while, he got overrated. So, I started to fall in love with rock band like Greenday and Smashing Pumpkins. Then the music industry evolved again. Now it is more to disco or club music that i can't bear to listen to. So i stayed with 90's music which i found more pleasing to my ears.

People change.

Although i don't listen to current boyband's songs anymore, at times i still tune in some songs from 911 or boyzone although to be honest i don't really like the music anymore.

But why?

I guess somehow the memories of that song were so strong that it tricked ur mind to like it. u don't like that song, u just love the memory it reminded u.

Sometimes i wonder, am i in love. I am a big girl now. I look forward for different things, u know? Cute look of the boyband's lead singer doesn't seem to be appealing anymore. Alter-ego of a person doesn't seem to impress me anymore.

I want something deep like 'Viva La Vida'. Good music, excellent lyrics, deeper.. way deeper than it seems. But it seems like i can't let go of the past. It feels like the boyband is a part of me somehow. All the memories i had, so I wonder do i still like their music or do i just like the memories of their music.

I want different things. But the memories still linger and I got confused more than ever.

And the worst thing is.. it's not about music at all :( If it is, i could just play my greenday album and listen to it till i'm tired of it, which i'm sure i never will...

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

What are you complaining for?

I've had a friend who's been complaining about how complicated her love life is. But just when she found someone nice, she thought he was dull and left him for another bad boy to make her life even more complicated. And too many times before, when lepaking with my friends that I heard, "OMG! this noodle is too salty!!!!" And kept complaining but kept eating at the same time.

How ironic that is? But come on, I often do that myself. In an evening like this, I would be yelling out loud to my officemates, "Kak, laparnyeeee.." and kept complaining. But didn't even bother to buy food downstairs. Why? The answer is simple..


Lazy to turn something small to something big for us. And the laziness caused us to completely ignore everything. To tolerate. Ignoring the fact that I'm hungry. Tolerating the fact that she can never be satisfied with any guy she ended up with. Or even worse, convincing oneself that, "i'm not going to die by eating the salty noodles."

But one thing I'm glad that I choose to ignore my laziness is by doing the police report regarding Mr. Psycho.

My life has never been better after that. No more jumping out at the sound of my message tone. No need to change my hp number. And life is back to normal; only more blissful when I started to sit back and appreciate life.

See sometimes, u just have to do one tiny little thing, REACT. Who knows by complaining to the waitress that ur food is too salty, she'll do better cooking next time and in a realllllyyyy long run, she'll get more customers coming in.

I just think if you start to tolerate the thing that u think is small, then eventually u'll adapt urself to tolerate to something bigger. If u don't bother to do anything about it, u shouldn't bother be complaining either. I'm not intending to tolerate on people messing up with other people's privacy, or relationship. So by doing the police report, I'm telling myself that I really can't take people messing up with me. And I won't tolerate this kind of thing in the future.

There goes. I'm proud of myself because the report is more than just a paper. :)

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The man who sold newspaper

I found one reason to love my neighborhood this morning.. finally.

There is only ONE way to go out from my housing area to the highway. And by the road, there is an old chinese man who sells some Chinese newspapers, and each morning, many cars stopped by the road to buy the newspaper since half of the population in my residential is Chinese.

Every single time I passed by that road, I will feel annoyed. With some selfish cars double parking by the road or braking up all of a sudden to get their newspaper without giving any signals. Since I was always annoyed, I never realized this old Chinese guy, sitting down, waving at the car that passed by with a really sweet smile. When I finally realized that, I couldn't care less for I thought he was attracting me to buy his Chinese newspaper, while obviously, my skin tone didn't reflect any of my Chinese look (if i happen to inherit that from any of my ancestors).

Only lately that I realized, he was doing it very sincerely. His smile is so genuine. But not until today that I started to appreciate the beauty of that little stall by the road. It was raining heavily this morning, that only a couple of cars stopped by. So, I can see that old man clearly.

He was wearing his yellow raincoat, with umbrealla, stepping outside the big umbrella that covered his stall, and waving at my car with the sweetest smile that I can think of right now.

That's the only reason that makes me feel, "well, this place is not that bad after all." And ONE reason is all i need. :)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I love my work

I am so tired. both physically and mentally. My life has been everything but ordinary since last Friday.

Last Friday.. Well, have u ever had one of those days, where u dressed up so prettily, had ur hair done really nicely and put some make ups on, put ur best heels, purse and accessories, but still feel like u're walking in a very cheap cloth without having ur bath for days. That was me last Friday.

On weekend, I had bday lunch with my best friends and wearing my new turtlenock top and my best Levi's jeans and my 2-inch heels with my Guess handbag and we had so much fun. But when they were gone, it felt hollow really deep inside.

Monday and Tuesday, i went to PD for 'seliday'.. the term i used to describe it.. seminar and holiday. Despite of too many things I had to think at that particular moment, there was one thing that bothered me, the fact that i was so much bothered by nothing but this one particular female dog.. or in another word, some ppl called it a b.. owh, come on u can figure that out.

But on the way to work yesterday, I passed by this one particular road inside my university. A long straight road, where u could see horses running along the road (seriously, my university has the stable), some colourful birds flying near my car and some squirrels near the road, I realized that the world didn't stop for my grieves.

And when I started to do my programming, I smiled sweetly deep inside. This is my home. Though I was wearing the worst baju kurung to suit my mood that morning, I felt beautiful deep inside. Beautiful and intelligent. Eventhough I might be wearing cheap cloth that day, I did not ever felt cheap myself. Worse come to the worse, at least I have the brain. Thank you Allah. :)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

My first year working anniversary

Today is my first year anniversary working as RA in this university. Gosh, I feel old. I remembered, last year, at this exact moment, my first day was a chaos. I havent finished my Bachelor Degree yet at that time. Still one more important final paper in 2 days time and final year project needed to be done. I have got my own room though, that I was so proud of since it wrote there..

Well, anyways, my first week did not go well. I have no friends, no one to have lunch with, no one to talk to and was so depressed with my fyp since i did not get any result by then. And when i finally found a lab full of girls, I felt so out of place. I mean, owh well.. they're so.. urm baik, and i am so.. urm ordinary?

But it took me only 2 days to not feel awkward with them. I felt so blessed to have met such wonderful human beings; as if i was entering a whole new world. People come and go over the year. And yesterday was Darling Dida's last day after getting a nice offer in an Oil n Gas company, now in thesis writing mode and waiting for Viva. I'll be with her in a while.
But as for now, I am at peace here. Thank you dearest colleague, for the helps and the good times all along. I appreciate. This piece is for you, with love..

Work hard, play even harder :)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Have u ever? Dedicated BFF Maria

Have u ever had someone so close to u, staying just a few blocks away, but hardly met that someone?
And that u used to tell her every single little things happening in ur life, but just hardly find time to do that anymore, though u r just a call away, or a few blocks away?
And that u watched each other grew up together, year after year, realizing, part of u is that someone and part of that someone is you tho u haven't spend much time together over the years?
And that u spent hours talking to ur current closest friend when u have a problem just so u feel better, but 5 mins with this precious someone, it's as though all ur worries went away?
And when this one fine day, u have found time to do the cathcing-ups, u thought, "there's so much i need to tell over the months we have lost." But then, it feels as if u haven't missed telling that someone anything at all. It's like that someone was with u all along?
Well, I have. And it feels wonderful. :)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Busybody vs Caring

Gosh I miss living in KL! Despite of its endless traffic jams, everything else were great! Easier to get to places, all my friends were few blocks away and all my neighbours were caring. I would have a 60 yrs old Indian uncle came over at 11pm on weekends to play board game with us, and some weekends, my neighbours will popped outside our house bringing foods and chatted for a while. Thinking of that make me sick already. I miss my old small house, where everyone treated me with respect as much as I respected them.

See, it's not that I dont like my new neighbours or something.. no, not until this weekend. (Except a chinese guy next door and a chinese family next next door, which i'm grateful of, owh.. and the Malay policeman, just the hubby not the wife and the family with baby Ariff, that's it.)

Forget about the times when I drove to work and bumped into some of my neighbours and stopped by to say 'Hi!' and they just looked away. Forgive me for being over-friendly, in my old place, it is called decent. And the times I went outside asking around whether our area is available for Streamyx yet or not, and having them looking at me like I tried to flirt them or something. Sigh..

However, surprisingly, although they dont seem to care to get to know about their neighbours, they do seem to over caring about other stuff, u know.

Like the other day, one of this house rented by a whole bunch of "caring" Malay guys actually approached my mum about me getting home from work late at night alone (if 8pm is considered late). About me going out with Love almost every week and asking when are we getting married. About me going back late on Fridays with different cars sending me home.

I dont care if they asked that to me, but MY MUM? Not only the comments made her cried, but also jeopardizied my relationship with her.

If this "caring" neighbours just spent some time to get to know me, they would know that my parents gave me such freedom because I dont smoke, I never went to a club, I dont do drugs, I dont drink. I only have 1 serious bf in my life and Insya Allah I'm about to marry him, I'm a virgin, I have a good career lies ahead of me, I dont waste time lepaking and I love volunteer works.

And if he spent just a little time to know me and my family, he would also realized that I went home late at night cuz I'm struggling to finish my Master in a year, so I have to work hard dont I? I'm going out with Love because I have a life and the biggest part of it is him. And lately on Fridays, i went out to spend quality time with quality ppl, including visiting a charity home last Friday, Love and I offered some help and so we went back at midnight. And that although different cars sending me home, other than Kide last Friday, if they cared to look who is inside the cars, it's Love every single times with different company cars.

And if they ever asked me about the times I chatted with Cheng outside my house till late at night is because Cheng is a Dr. in Nottingham and he only went back at 11 pm and I do need to talk to knowledgeable ppl to inspire me, right? Owh.. did they even knew Cheng got his PhD in Electrical Engineering when he was 27? Well, they would if they tried to mingle around rather than stalking out their neighbour's anak dara, wouldn't they?

P/S : Tho i'm thankful for how much Ibu and Ayah trusted me that they chose to ignore them, Alhamdulillah. That all that matters, I guess.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Not just Jean Perry

Last Wednesday after work we went shopping for 5 hours from from 5 until 10pm, first shopping for Dermalogica in Equinne, where one of my friends said she wanted to take a look at the items first but ended up spending nearly RM900. Well, yup.. the promoter is quite pushy and annoying at times.

But it's not what i'm here to talk about.. then after the beauty saloon, we went to Jusco Equine. I didn't want to miss the sale, so I decided to buy a new nice comforter for.. urm.. my engagement party, which is months from now, but who cares. So, I found this gorgeous silk comforter in purple from Jean Perry that blended perfectly with my room. It was kinda love at first sight. And it was 70% off!!~

I called my mum, psyched. Even more it was cheaper than my allocated budget. But my mum said it was quite expensive. I became demotivated and started to call everyone to motivate me to buy the bedsheet + comforter. Tho I asked the very kind-hearted promoter to just issue the receipt, I was going to buy it anyway, just need some extra boost to not feel that much guilty.

And so suddenly, the promoter asked me, "untuk ape ni dik?" (She's around the same age with me, or maybe younger). "Wedding ke?"

I replied, "Tunang je"

She asked again, "Nak save budget ke?" I gave her an ironic look for asking me that question, but I nodded. She smiled and tore the price tag from the bedsheet's bag, and issue a new receipt. RM 20+ cheaper than the discounted price.

I asked her with my eyes wide open, "Are u serious? Is it legal for u to do this?"

She just smiled and said, "Untuk tunang kan. Dah jom, akak letak kat counter."

Amazing ok! I'm not even asking her anything, but she was so thoughtful. So thoughtful, that my friend who didn't have any intention to buy any comforter, bought one, exactly the same design as mine but different colours. Because of that RM20 less she offered to me, she even got another customer to buy that comforter.

She makes my day. Not because of that RM20 which honestly didnt make that much of a difference, but because of her kindness. And because of that, I can ensure u the next comforter I am going to buy is definitely from Jean Perry. I'll keep coming back because this girl (Noor Ain.. yup, I glanced through her name tag) reminds me that the world is still full of love. That not all promoters are pushy and annoying.

Jean Perry, u should be lucky having this girl as ur worker. May Allah bless u, Noor Ain. :)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The day I met a woman from "Chicken Soup for the Soul"

Few years back, when I was doing a Community Service in HUKM, I met this wonderful woman named Datin Seri Evelynn. She was a volunteer in the psychiatric ward, spending her every Wednesday doing play-doh for the children. Again, I shall write down the title before her name here.. "DATIN SERI". She's already filthy rich, and she can just spend her money to go shopping all day long, relaxing at home with her three daughters, vacationing with her dearest hubby, etc.. But despite of all the fabulosity, she's doing a volunteer work in HUKM. And I said to myself, "One day, I'll be just like her".

Then, when I became a volunteer for FESPIC '06, I met a whole lot of mesmerizing ppl. I remembered this one Aunty which we used to call her 'Mama' and because of that I forgot her real name. She trained us on how to handle ppl with wheelchair, blind ppl and etc. She was so old, as old as my Grandmother. Despite of spending her remaining life with her grandchildrens, she chose to be a volunteer work for an OKU. So, again, I said to myself, "One day, I'll be just like her".

I have met quite a number of amazing ppl throughout my 24 years of life. I wish to remember, if not all, at least some of them in my heart. I hope, few years later, once I read this article again, I would probably be one of them already.

Yesterday, when I went shopping with 'Love' in Jusco Equinne, an Indian lady approached us. Her name was Manu and she was a reporter in NST. (I googled about her in NST just now, she was telling the truth). One day she went to a house where some ppl left their parents or 'special' childrens there, and she was so touched. So what she did was, after work, she would wander around, asking help from ppl like us to buy foods for the ppl in that house. I can't find myself saying, "One day, I'll be just like her".

Why? Because u need a lot of courage to ask money from ppl, even for a good course. Someone might think u are a con, someone might yelled out in front of ur face, someone might even throw u out from that place. But this wonderful woman, she had the courage to do it with love and care.

I admire her so much. But, yet I still can't find myself saying, "One day, I'll be just like her".

Dedicated to all the wonderful women and men who woke up in the morning with a heart full of love and slept at nigh with a contented heart.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Distance makes the heart grows fonder

It is an ironic morning today. Wonderfully ironic.

My best friends during high school, Fai and Sya are both in Scotland currently. They're meeting each other in a country far away from ours, holidaying and i bet talking about Sabians in Malaysia until they are home sick and counting days till they are here again.

I'm so sad that they are world away from me, but happy that they are not world apart.

See, last three years, all of us were in Malaysia. Me in Bangi, Sya in KL and Fai in Shah Alam. How long will it take for us to meet each other? 1 hour. And what it takes for us to drop a 'Hello' to each other? Just a phone call away, that costs us probably 60 cents per minute. How many times we meet each other in a year? Maybe once during raya. Call? Maybe once during Birthday. The excuse? Hectic schedule.

It's funny now that they're world away, we talked to each other more often. Once in two weeks maybe. I knew about them more than I knew about friends who lived in the same state as mine. Thanks to the technologies. Who made it? Engineers like me. :)

Even more ironic, a best friend who lived in Cyberjaya couldn't even come to our best friend's engagement last year. But Fai even extends her holiday in Malaysia to witness my engagement.

It's true what ppl say, 'Friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance'.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


What is ur bad habit?

My youngest brother has the funniest habit of all when he was little, he kept foods inside his mouth for hours like a monkey. It's funny but i thought it was cute. And as for me, I used to love biting my nails a lot.

But, I'm nail-biting free now. Why? Cuz my nails became ugly, plus it was disgusting and what more we called it as a bad habit, so logically thinking, why should i continue right?

But after having half of my lifetime biting my nails, I can say that it's not an easy thing to forget. When I was nervous, I fought the urgency of putting my now-beautiful finger inside my mouth. Again and again. Sometimes I failed, at times i succeed. But before I can remember, I have totally forgotten that I had such silly habit once upon a time ago.

To achieve something, we often have to sacrifice something. Especially if the thing that we need to sacrifice is totally unworthy and not to mention again.. disgusting.

The same goes with relationship. Sometimes, we knew that it's getting so lame like an old habit, but we refused to leave it.

Why? The answer is simple..

We are too comfortable of what we're having right now.

At least, I am.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I miss you. A lot.

I spent the whole day today at one of my aunty's house for family gathering and we did some usual routine.. talking, lunch, talking some more, desert, talking, tea, then talk again.. only that we add something simple this time.. looking back at the old pictures, plenty of them.

I was not really up for that actually. I think i look funny when I was small.. I think my hair was funny, my dress, my pose.. everything didn't seem right. But i just tagged along, looking at the pictures of my extended family back in the old days when they were young and small which i have very few memories of those days. Till something really caught my eyes..

The picture of her.

She looked so healthy and young. I nearly cried. I pictured her in my mind every now and then. But never did I pictured her this happy. Her face is similar as the way I imagined her before, but looking at her just now I knew I have missed something really important about her. Staring at the very last picture of her just now made me realized how much I missed her. And how scared I am at the thought of forgetting how she looked like someday. Dear Allah, please let me have a vivid picture of her in my mind until the end of my life.

Then, something hit me really hard. I hardly remember those days spent with her. Those things we talked about before we slept at night next to each other, those things we did at the kitchen, but I still have clear memories on the way she talked, the way she ate, she slept, her smell. I remembered the first time i met my chinese indonesian supervisor during my practical at tamco and i told her, "the way u talked is similar to my great grandmother". And i grew fond of my supervisor because she reminded me of her in every way.

I miss her. A lot. Nyang, I hope sangat to see u in my dream again. There are a lot a lot A LOT of things I need to say and hear from u and I can't wait until the next time i see u again. As for now, I dedicate this post for u and I hope whatever memories remain with me will always ALWAYS be in my mind. I love and miss u a lot more than i could ever say.


Thursday, January 22, 2009

A stranger that inspires me..

Not many people gave me a good impression the first time I met them. Not even my boyfriend. As a matter of fact, I can still remember those people whom I instantly impressed when I first knew them. See, love at the first sight doesn't work for me.

That is why I am quite slow at making friends. But I love meeting new people... (Well, who wouldn't?) Because there is always, always, ALWAYS a gem inside that someone no matter how colourless it appears on the outside. Even more interesting, the more colourless they are, the better the gem inside.

So, yesterday morning I had an interview. After more than 2 hours waiting for my slots without having anyone to talk to, not even the 2 guys besides me.. A chinese guy came to me. He was so decent and he was the only one who was wearing blazer for that interview.

Him : Hye, finish preparing?
Me : (Shocked) Yup.. I'll be in within 5 minutes.
Him : U want some coffee, let me take u a cup before u go in.
Me : (Flattered but still in shocked) Nvm, too nervous for a coffee, maybe afterwards. But tq tho.
Him : U must be Miss Nurul rite?
Me : (Even more puzzled) Yup.
Him : (Before I could asked him how did he know my name, he explained calmly) Owh, I have the list of those who came to the interview. (Of course, I have that too, but I dunno ur name!! So, he showed me the list. Under my name, is my Undergrad ID number. Before I asked, he explained again..) I'm from Uniten. Since it's only u n me from Uniten, I tried to find u, maybe we can go together for this interview, but I cant find u in the database.
Me : Owh.. When are u presenting?
Him : I'm in the evening session. But I came early just in case something's came up. (For real?)

Then after my interview, I went to see him again. I hardly accepted any coffee invitation from a guy before cuz I'm not comfortable with that. But this time, I wanted to know him more. So I went to him. The first words that came out from his mouth.

Him : U were inside exactly 15 minutes. (Staring at his watch)
Me : I know, the panel said the same thing to me. What? U're recording my time inside?
Him : (Smiling) U want a thank you card?
Me : A what? Thank you card?
Him : Yup, I have an extra card. U can give it to the panels and sign ur name there.
Me : That is thoughtful. Btw, u might want to install ur powerpoint first before ur slots if they allow u to.. because just now, the lappy had a hard time reading my thumby. (Happy to help, since he helps me a lot)
Him : It's ok I guess. Cuz I saved it also in CD and floppy disk.
Me : (Who else is using CD and floppy disk nowadays.. but that is very very.. how to put it.. well prepared) Owh kayy.. But u know what, the presentation is only 4 minutes. I'm preparing for 15 minutes slides. Sigh.. If u can find any source to the comp, maybe u would want to alter ur slides.
Him : Owh, my lappy is inside the car. (Of course, u bring ur lappy, well-prepared boy!)

Then, we had our coffee. Being such a gentleman, he took the coffee for me. But before he went to take that cup of coffee, guess what he asked me? "U want coffee or tea? With sugar or creamer?"

Then while having our coffee, during one of the funniest conversation we had, a few drops of coffee spilt at his white shirt. I am panicking and quickly gave him the tissue he gave me earlier. Then, he said......

Him : Nvm, I had... (I cut it before he finished his sentences)
Me : Extra shirt inside ur car? Of course... (Smiling)
Him : (Smiling back) Yup, let me walk u to ur car.

And so he did. So this entry is a reminder for me and maybe for all of us, on how well-prepared someone can be at a time. Some might call him skema, or a geek or whatever, but I call him as another inspiration, where he had cleared the road with a lot of stones in front of him before he actually took that route.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Our very own boundaries.

I love my privacy, full stop.

I don't like people entering or cleaning my room without acknowledging me first. Not that I have anything fabulous inside, but that small 10 years old piece of paper is more valuable than.. well.. the most expensive top or bottom inside my wardrobe. And that faded small gold pendant in my drawer is WAAYYY more valuable than the bangle I bought using my 3 months worth of savings from my salary. Cuz that pendant is the pendant I wore when I was 6 months old, and that piece of paper is a piece of paper from some unrequited crush I used to have before.

But other people will look at it as just another garbage. I don't really keen to explain the sentimental value of some old movie ticket that u can no longer read what written on it anymore, and that is why I'd choose rather not to explain it.. and that is one of the reason why I LOVE my privacy.

Sometimes, I think I have an issue with this privacy thingy. The other day, I went mad when one of the undergrad student just simply took a thesis on my desk without asking for my permission first. So, I yelled at him on the phone without any second thought. Half an hour later, I felt a pang of guilt surrounding me.

But lately, I have discovered that everyone has their own boundaries.. even the sweetest ppl on planet earth. Some stuff that is ok for me might not be ok with u. And when I saw that sweet warning on my whiteboard this morning, I felt normal and relaxed; but yet aware to learn about other ppl's boundaries in times.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

How can a 7 year old boy refused a McD?

Last Saturday, I went to Tampin with Love for his friend's engagement. His friend is a girl. And this friend's fiancee's REALLY BIG (in fact, the biggest I've ever encountered) rombongan came at about 2.30 pm, everyone is sooooooo stylo and so 'Datin' and 'Datuk' like. But, the first impression I got is that they're nice ppl.

But i'm not planning to talk about that actually. So, I had my lunch there with the fiancee's rombongan. There were LOTS of cute babies and kids who look so adorable with their full set of baju Melayu and Kurung. I overheard this old man conversation with his son who is maybe at his innocent age of 7.

The Dad asked, "... (the name of the boy), nak McD tak balik ni?" And the son answered, "Oh, tak nak. Amerika, Daddy! Amerika!"

I turned around to see that small boy with a big heart. And so I smiled. :)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Let's boycott these products

Last night I was on the phone with my best friend and here is how I got so pissed off at him during the first 5 mins of our conversation.

Me : Where are u?
Him : Starbucks. Having some nice ice blended to get my minds off work.
Me: Lol!! Why Starbucks? Boycott US and Jewish joms.
Him : OMG!! That is so nonsense. If u want to boycott them, stop doing works at ur office la then. Don't u know u should also boycott Intel and IBM then? What crap again in boycotting all these stuffs. I don't beleive in it.

Grr.. What is that? He's a Muslim, u know. Of course, in the case of Intel, 100% of the computers in my lab are using Intel Pentium processor. That is what we can't avoid. About the things that we can easily avoid, what harm can we make not to have them? After all, it's the smallest, tiniest help we can do to help our sahabat in Gaza.

Remember when the Dutch insulted our Prophet. My Dad banned most of their products from entering our home. No more Unilever, we changed from Sunsilk to Himalaya, from Lux to Shokubutsu. No more foods from Danone, no chipsmore, no Tiger.. nothing that we loved before. It's that drastic until we changed from Lady's Choice mayo to Kimpball. And we managed to maintain these things until now. It's a small contribution from my family. And, I bet there are many families who have come to this stage also. Who said it's crap? Who said it's nonsense?

I believe it's possible for us to boycott these products. If not all, at least some. My Dad is 51 this year. More than half of his lifetime, he was using Lux and he was not fond of changing to some new stuff. In fact, he really hated changes. But, owh well he did. And he's not the most religious person or anything. He's a normal ppl just like me. I dont believe that u have to be a saint to do this. Okayy.. Starting to get emotional. Hehe.. Sorry. Well, I better stop here.

So, here goes the list of products found out to contribute money to Israel:
  • Coca Cola, Perrier, Nestle, Sprite, Fanta, Sunkist
  • Danone, KitKat, Maggi
  • Huggies, Kotex, Kleenex
  • Starbucks, McDonalds
  • Estee Lauder, Clinique, Lancome, Garnier, Loreal, Revlon, Maybelline, Johnson n Johnson
  • Disney, Timberland, GAP, Marks & Spencer, Clavin Klein, Boss, Giorgio Armani, Wonderbra, DKNY
  • Jo Malone, Libbys, Tchibp, Sanex, Vittel, River Island, Nokia, Kiwi, AmbiPur
  • The Sun, Time, 20th Century Fox, National Geographic
So dear readers, I hope u can do ur part in Saving Gaza now.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Save Gaza!!~

It is a very noble work that the Islam Studies Society in my university or rather known as PPI Uniten is making a campaign against the Israeli Terrorism that is called as 'Save Gaza' campaign. I am deeply touched by the sensitivity of these undergraduates, and impressed by the very high impact flyers and booths. The flyers really caught my attention, and so I would like to share with all the readers out there, the chronology of the attacks:

Sat, Dec 27
Israel launches a massive air assault on Gaza and begins Operation Cast Lead
Total Casualties : 120 Total injuries : 200

Sun, Dec 28
Israeli jets fired several missiles twds the border area btw Rafah and Egypt
Egypt bars Libyan Plane Carrying Aid to Gaza from Landing in Egypt's airport
Total Casualties since Day 1: 287 Total injuries since Day 1: 900

Mon, Dec 29
Israeli's warplanes strike at univ, mosque, hosp and public places
Total Casualties since Day 1: 303 Total injuries since Day 1: 1000

Tues, Dec 30
Israeli kidnapped 200 young Palestinian
Total Casualties since Day 1: 360 Total injuries since Day 1: 1700

Wed, Dec 31
Israeli air force bombed a Gaza Strip mosque

Thurs, Jan 1
Israeli army pounds admin buildings in Gaza and Gaza-Egypt border
Israeli warplane dropped a bomb on the home of a senior Hamas political leader
Egypt blocked entry of humanitarian aid
Total Casualties since Day 1: 400 Total injuries since Day 1: 2000

Fri, Jan 2
Airstrikes in Khan Yunis
Total Casualties since Day 1: 420 Total injuries since Day 1: 2100

Sat, Jan 3
Israeli ground troops began entering Gaza
UN Security Council fails to agree on a statement calling for ceasefire
Israeli air force bombed the Maqadna Mosque when 200 ppl were performing prayer
Total Casualties since Day 1: 428 Total injuries since Day 1: 2220

Sun, Jan 4
Interim PM rejects phone pleas from Franch and Russian President to halt the offensive
Total Casualties since Day 1: 441 Total injuries since Day 1: 2800

Mon, Jan 5
Israeli strikes in Gaza
Air strike hit an ambulance
Israeli air strike in al-Sati camp
Total Casualties since Day 1: 540

Tues, Jan 6
Israeli attack on Deir al-Balah and the Bureij refugee camp
1 million Palestinians now without electricity and 700 000 without water.
Israeli airstrike on a 4-storey building in Gaza City
Israeli strike on a school run by UNRWA
Total Casualties since Day 1: 660 Total injuries since Day 1: 2950

Wed, Jan 7
Fighting in Gaza strip
Israeli airstrikes in the all parts of the Strip, from north of Rafah to southern end
Total Casualties since Day 1: 680 Total injuries since Day 1: 3100