Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Disciplining babies..

Yesterday at our house, Baby Khaira woke up all smiling and happy. So, we put her down and she played all by herself for a while while we cleaned the house. Then, she started crying.

So, I nursed her. She slept in my arms. Put her down. She cried.

Nursed her again. She slept. Put her down. She cried.

Passed to Love. Played with her. Laughed. Put her down. She cried.

This went on for the whole day, until around 7pm, she decided to sleep. And that was it.

My theory: She had a tummyache, she did not have a bowel movement for 3 days for the first time.

Love's theory: She always had someone to carry her everytime she cried, so she became spoiled.

I have to admit, Baby Khaira might be a bit spoiled. She is the first grandchild of both sides.

At my mum's house.

When she cried. My dad would pick her up. Cried again. Mom picked her up. Cried some more. Alif would rushed down from his room to pick her up. If he was not around, Hadi would be happy to cuddle her though in an awkward way.

At my in law's house.

She hardly cried. Because she was hardly by herself. Either in my MIL's arm or my SIL's arm.

Friends suggested us to just let her cry. Don't pick her up. Once she got tired, she would sleep on her own.

We decided to give it a try.

The first minute. Ok she'll stop.

Second. Now she's starting to slow down.

Third. Still crying, it's ok. She's gonna stop very soon.

Fourth minute. Let's wait a little bit more.

Fifth minute. Ok that was it!!! *And I started holding her*

Omaigodddd so harddd!!!

We tried a couple more time, but failed. I failed.

I just don't have the heart.

What running through my mind was..

The first minute. What if she falls asleep after tired of crying. My god!! I'm gonna feel guilty for the whole time that she sleeps, man!

Second. What if she chokes because of crying out too loud?

Third. What if too much air enters her stomach while crying and thus, colic? Poor baby..

Fourth minute. Even worse, what if she realized that whatever she demanded from the beginning couldn't be met? And she grow up as a child who would never want to demand anything because she knew we wouldn't meet it after all. Oh my God! What am I doing to my daughter's development.

Fifth minute. Ohh I have to pick her up! I must pick her up!

But seriously, if I don't pick her up everytime she wants me to, would she grow up as a child who would think I won't meet her needs?

I have a feeling that this is just temporary. That she'll be back to what she used to be very soon. And that it's too early to discipline her. That the more I meet her needs, the happier she'll become and the more independent she'll be.

However some part of me, wanted to discipline her so it would be easier for mum to take care of her.

But for that little girl to cry that long with me not doing anything just kills me :(


alya.nazlan said...

hehe.. babe, try this way. if penat dukung, u baring beside her and tepuk2 and peluk her. sing a song/ zikr.
for me, i dont mind manjakan baby sdiri. tiring but they the one who make us smile kn. hehe.

Dr. Ikeen said...

Thank you for the tips, babe!!! I surely will try!!
"for me, i dont mind manjakan baby sdiri. tiring but they the one who make us smile kn. hehe" --> super true!!!