So last Saturday, Love and I went to "Seminar Parenting Gaya Al-Fateh" organized by IPN.
There were three speakers altogether; husband and wife Pn. Jamilah and En. Ahmad Fakhri. The final speaker was Ust. Mohd Syaari (I attended his previous talk here).
The first two speakers were rather mundane :( I'd rather not say much.. but not for me, not for hubby, sorry..
Thank God, Ust. Syaari managed to make everything okay again. Not only okay, but a memorable one :)
So, my sharing is more of Ust. Syaari's sharing and here goes..
There were 4 stages of learning education during Ottoman empire, meaning these 4 stages were what being mastered by Al-Fateh.
1. Spiritual sciences - Include not only theorical (Quran, Hadis and Syariah) but also practical or ethics.
2. Intellectual sciences - Include theory (sciences, mathematical, theology) and practical (ethics and political sciences)
3. Oral (Phonetics, lexicography, poetry, syntax, prosody, and history)
4. Written (Caligraphic sciences)
I guess on intellectual sciences, we don't have any problem on this. That's how they measure our children's intellectual level in Malaysia anyway.
And slowly nowadays, the spiritual sciences came along. We are more aware of teaching our children to go back to fitrah, to the Quran and Hadis. But the practical and ethics are what I'm gonna stressed on to my little ones later on. We know sometimes, non Muslim are more Muslim than us.
When I was in Aussie, strangers came to us and say, "Hello" out of nowhere. I didn't give "Salaam" to strangers here in Malaysia. When I was in Japan, people there were so honest I could leave my handbag out of sight for a while only to come back and found out it was still there untouched. Would I do that in any of the Arabic country, no offense, read this with open mind.. I wouldn't. The reality was so sad, I felt almost crying when I saw a video of a Muslim lady with a head scarf (tak mampu nak sebut hijab) laughed after stealing somebody else's money from ATM. Malu ok, like my late grandmom said if I was an ostrich I would bury my head under the sand.
To be honest, I'm not really worried about teaching ethics to Khaira. I passed it all to her Abi, all the soft skills. My husband was one of the person who has the highest level of ethics I've ever met in life. One of the most soft spoken person, he spoke with a high level of respect to me and everybody else. So, Abi.. this is your part :)
I guess, what I learned most during the talk is the importance of teaching our children on the oral and written parts. I haven't thought of that before. Because the kids nowadays, the way they talked to adults are more like friends, we need to do something about it. Puan Lina even sent Darwish and Darwisya to speech and acting class.
Al-Fateh is a poet. Really good at debate. This skill played its role when he gave his speech to his army after they were demotivated since they couldn't take over Constantinople after a month plus. This skills is important to our children during job interview later on, during work. It is sure one important thing to me because as a lecturer and a researcher, I'm selling my presentation skill and my knowledge to the students.
Even in Quran, the first speaker also asked us to observe the way the son and the father communicate. Eg. in Surah Luqman Ayat 13, Luqman would say to his son "Ya bunayya" meaning "Oh my son". And in Surah Al-Qasas Ayat 26, "Ya Abbati" meaning "Oh my father". How really soft spoken.. It melts my heart. I hope, I pray both Love and I are given the courage to teach these skills to Khaira.
I am sharing here with you this beautiful video Ustaz shared during the talk, about a blind man who asked for a sedeqah, he wrote on a board "I'm blind. Please help me". Then a woman came to change the wording and this time many people started donating then previously. The woman wrote, "It's a beautiful day, and I can't see." How words can change the world. Watch here.
I have to go now, I have an urgent meeting. Anyhow let me just end up my sharing with the four important pillars in teaching your children:
Whatever it is, it is us the parents who will become the role model to our kids. To have good children, we must be a good parents first. For me, I'm dividing the task with Love. Left brain to me, right brain to him.
Usaha. And I just need to doa banyak2 Khaira and my babies later one will get very good teachers. In shaa Allah. Let's have faith with the teachers in Malaysia.
School plays another important role. After all, our environment determines who we are.
I'd rather say this as street smart. Kalau pandai geek macam mana pun tak survive in the outside world pun susah juga.
Ever heard of a saying (people say it's a hadis but I am not sure whether is is sahih or not, wallahualam) “Akan terjadi di akhir zaman Islam muncul dari bumi sebelah Timur.”
May our children be one of them that helps the rise of Islam :) Ameen.