Last week, I attended a two days course organized by my uni's mosque on parenting. The speaker was a UiTM lecturer, AP Dr. Hj Mohd Nor. It was a rather relaxing talk and fun, though not so much on learning something new, but more as a reminder to something we already knew but tend to forget at times. I took this kind of talk as my chicken soup for the soul as we, human needs to always be reminded.
The gist of the talk is on "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Have you read it? It's one of my fav book ever, I read it long before I got married and I even saved an audio book that I listened to every now and then in my car. It talks about the differences between men and women and when you do understand them, it makes your life a lot easier.
Having said that, I shall write a review on the book soon, please pray I've been given enough strength to write about it :)
If you haven't read the book yet, this might just be a good news to you as well. I read it to understand men. So when it comes to the women part, I did not concentrate that much. But according to Ustaz, these differences between men and women need to really be understood so that we know how to treat our sons and daughters differently as well.
Anyhow, the key point of the talk is mainly on how to approach our better half. To talk to a guy, we need to know how to be 'gediks' (his exact word ;p). There are many ways to ask for things from them, many ways to receive them back in return. But it's the approach that we used that can ensure them to really want to give it to us rather than they 'have to'. To talk to a guy, we need to use our logic, not emotion. It must be realistic, rational and definitely facts.
"It has been a while since we last went to Giant" -- Emotion
"I thought of cooking Tom Yam, but there are not enough ingredients in the kitchen. I already checked the price at Giant and Jusco, the cheapest is Giant." -- Logic.
To talk to a girl, we just use emotions and something that makes them happy. Easy lah us. Haha.
Also, Ustaz stressed us non-stop on the importance of being all pretty and sexy at home. He said in a joking manner repeatedly to learn pole dancing, I guess to stress how important that something is to the guys. Honestly, I still have no idea whatsoever how to dress sexy in front of the kids, they even shared the same bedroom as us. And it will probably last for another like what.. a decade perhaps? If you do, please share, haha.
He also stressed on the importance of doa. When we doa with love, in shaa Allah the doa is easier to be granted. Ohh, btw do you know that if you doa for somebody else other than your mom you have to mention their names? I baru tahu!
Stress needs to be handled with care as well. When you see your husband suddenly not feeling well or easily become tired and upset, those are the signs of stress for guys. For women, it's when they get all sensitive, jealous and worried. For kids, other than mentioned above, perhaps sudden change in favourite colours or food and style of writing. Once you detect all these, you need to tackle them fast.
And to make your kids respect you, Ustaz said you need to find something that make them look up at you. I guess this is true for anybody. I look up at my husband because I think he is very visionary. And in line with my niat of doing PhD (I'm revealing it for the first time), is so my children have high respect towards me :)
I guess that's all for my sharing today. I end it with something that I wish I shall remember for the rest of my life. To doa everytime you're angry with your kids and husband rather than cursing. In shaa Allah. Ameen.