Monday, April 11, 2016

My umrah story with a toddler and a baby - Part 7: Saying goodbye

Read my Part 1 story here, Part 2 story here, Part 3 story here, Part 4 story here, Part 5 story here and Part 6 here.

I first saw the Kaabah from the entrance of King Fahd's gate 79. The inside of Masjidil Haraam appears to be quite dark from the outside, and then in the middle.. the Kaabah appears to illuminate with all its black and gold beauty, looking all grand and proud.

I was speechless.. of its beauty.. of all my sins.. of whether or not Allah swt allows me to just for a while hold the Kaabah, to do the tawaf with all the sins I came in.. so unclean.

Never have I met something so beautiful in my life.

My favourite gate

Love at first sight, that's it. Not a single day goes by that I haven't think of the first time I looked at Kaabah. Not a single second goes by without me wishing to go back there again everytime I thought of Makkah. 

Masjidil Haraam is oneee big mosque, it is so understandable how people could get lost inside. So many things to see, to do, to venture, you just do not want to get out once you're inside. It even has a library!

I performed my tawaf at the mataf, the highest level. Weather was cold during our visit, so it was okay for us considering the highest level is open air. I figured it was just nice, since not many people at the highest level and for me, personally I found that I could focus more.

Tawaf slowly at the highest level would take approximately around 20 minutes. Personally, I would prefer to take turns taking care of the kids during tawaf. Though I saw some super mommies just put their kids on the wheelchair and the kids had fun as well while they could focus on their ibadah. As for me, the sight of Kaabah was so overwhelming, I would prefer my time alone with my Creator for a while.

Your preference, after all, nobody is judging you in the Allah's mosque.

Sai'e is more relax and free flow although it was a bit tiring. 40 minutes for me to wrap up my Sai'e. Maybe I did it leisurely. I guess, here the kids could get involved as much. Along the way, you could see zam zam water by the side and could stop for a drink.


At the ground floor, the level of Kaabah, you could see that people come and go to perform their tawaf, it is sooo packed. But afraid not, all of them tawaf with a flow. You just follow the flow, bit by bit closer to the Kaabah, in shaa Allah you would get closer. Love directed me straight to the Kaabah one Friday evening, and holding the Kaabah flashed back all the sins I've brought in this Tanah Haraam, I cried like there is no tomorrow. Like everyone around you didn't exist, somehow. Despite of the chaos, it was just me and my Creator. I didn't realize if people were pushing me or pulling me or anything, I was just too mesmerized.

Suddenly, I heard my husband said, "You're in the Hijir Ismail, Sayang. Would you like to solat here?"

I don't know where or how or when I got there, like I told you, the flow will direct you.. and you know when you're there, everybody is helping each other. One big Moroccan lady kept making way for me to hold the Kaabah and hence, to Hijir Ismail. Of course, my husband wrapped me around him all the time. So, I performed my two raqaat solah there.. Peacefully.. despite the chaos..

Nothing else matters at that time. NOTHING.

Just me and my Creator. Just us.

You could even pray near the dome, open air :)

If you think of it logically, it was on Friday right after Friday prayer, you could imagine how full Masjidil Haraam was, even more at the ground floor for tawaf, and me being soooo small to make my way there to Kaabah, but Masha Allah, Allahu Akbar, for sure everything is possible for Him. 

My point is, don't attract negative vibes much from the stories you have heard. Makkah and Madinah are such beautiful places with beautiful people; the Arabics and Turks that just loooveeee kids. I would everyday miss. I would everyday long to go there again.


Saturday, after Tawaf Wida', as early as 12 noon, we quickly got out of hotel and left Makkah with so much sadness. About an hour drive to Jeddah international airport, freshen up and waiting for our flight at 11pm. Imagine the long wait for the kids. Not a good start for a long hour flight. 

And we had one tiring flight with cranky toddler, but Alhamdulillah sleeping baby throughout.

I miss!

One of the worst flight I had in life, 90% because, I don't want to go back at all.. No "home sweet home" phrase as we arrived at KLIA, not from me, not from Love, the first among 8 countries we have visited together before.

Dear Allah SWT, please invite us again.

Until the end of my Umrah sharing, I sure hope it will be beneficial to you :) 3 months have passed since we performed our Umrah and I still cry a bucket the moment I write this.

Pic from shafiqolbu

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