Sunday, August 6, 2017

Surviving Mycoplasma in Malaysia

With a very heavy heart, I'm pouring myself out in this post, with only one intention.. for those mothers who experienced / are experiencing the same situation as mine to know that you are not alone.

On April, I deactivated my Facebook, my Instagram and most importantly this blog that meant the world to me.. Because I was at the lowest point of my life.

Khaira started to have dry cough back in February, just in time when she was able to swim on her own. Thanks to multiple swimming classes she attended, to Love whom has been training her every week, she made very good progress. No float needed in adult's pool at the age of 5 and we were beaming with pride.

After a week of dry cough, the cough turned into wet coughs. I found the pattern to be weird as normally K would only have dry cough 3 days max, because the nebulizer, steaming and percussion that we did at least three times a day would help changed her dry cough to wet cough faster. After a few days of wet cough she always made full recovery.

A week after wet cough with no sign of recovery, we sent her to Dr. Nadhir. Two weeks after her cough changed from wet to slightly dry but no sign of recovery and again off to Dr. Nadhir. A week and no progress, I started to panic.

So I tried homeopathy as it usually worked for her and everyday of Sonotron. After every session of Sonotron, she would discharge lots of phlegms. She could spit her own phlegm at this time, but the phlegm seemed to be ongoing everytime and it scared me a lot.

In between homeopathy and Sonotron, we took blood test and chest xray, GP said she was okay, nothing to worry it could probably just asthma.

My instinct told me it was something else.

I made an appointment with a paed, the moment the doc saw the same xray from the GP's clinic, she showed me that fine thin line that separated K's upper lungs and lower lungs.

"Did she attend any swimming class?"

And the next statement followed.

"I suspected she has Mycoplasma pneumonia from her swimming pool," Paed said and the blood test confirmed.

2 antibiotics and a week later, things were the same. Came back to Paed and guess what, one of the antibiotics given by the Paed was under dosed. (T_T)

Before I knew it, K was warded. First time in her life. A day before my brother's wedding.

6 days of Rosephine + percussion everyday and neb 4 hourly to 6 hourly later, my girl was discharged with having to wear mask in public area. She got better and better Alhamdulillah. Aisha had Mycoplasma too, but because we detected it early, she made full recovery after three weeks with home care.

Me, on the other hand, during K's recovery, I went into depression. Maybe paranoid. Everyday I woke up, I feel at a dark place as if no doctors I could trust anymore. Between misdiagnosed and under dosage of antibiotics and everything that happened in between, I couldn't sleep. I thought of dark thoughts everytime I drove home to and back from work. I cried everyday.

One day it got so bad, I talked to Love and I said I wanted to talk to a psychiatrist. And I meant it. He was concerned and asked me to tell him everything, I did. And I felt better. I don't like talking about something that upsets me, perhaps I held too many feelings inside me it ate me. But I am myself now, Alhamdulillah, I can say I am 98% myself. :)

K on the other hand is making very good progress.

But Mycoplasma held tight to your cell, so every now and then, 4 months after, she still had a minor coughing fit.The rest of the days she would be ok. Doc always comforted me that they are good cough, you don't want to keep the bacteria inside. Only with productive cough the remaining of the dead bacteria are able to get out of the system.

She still on/off home nebulizer, still had her steam, percussion and physio everyday 4 months after.. But she made very good progress.

So mommies, they will recover with Allah's will. It is just a matter of time, have faith and be strong ok. You are not alone, I promise.Through the journey, remember that every tiny things we did matter to the Almighty.

"He who has done an atom's weight of good shall see it" - Al-Zalzala, ayat 7.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Aisha is 3!

You read that right! *sobs*

Both Love and I got a little bit more melancholy this time around. Maybe during the girls' previous birthdays, I was either pregnant or breastfeeding, so you know.. Just couldn't get over that tiring stage.

But now, I'm at my most comfortable stage. Happily raising up my girls and enjoying every second when suddenly, BAM! She's three. She's still a baby, sleeping on top of me at night, drinking her milk from bottle on my lap, how come she is 3??

*cries*



At 3, this precious finally have a daily routine of mengaji and hafazan though just 5 mins a day. She fluently memorized Al Fatihah and Al Ikhlas alongside with many other doas. Her terribble twos were over the past 2 months, she became more manageable and mature. Next year, she will start schooling *faint*

She is manja and full of character. Some of the funny things she said throughout the year that I still remember..

Scene #1: She insisted to eat on her own.
Me: Kalau tumpah nanti, kena gigit, faham?
Aisha: Faham, ibu!
Me: Kalau tumpah kena apa? (To check her understanding)
Aisha: Kena baju! (T_T)

Scene #2: My mom scolded her for pulling Khaira's hair
Mom: Kalau Aisha buat lagi, Nanny kurung dalam store. Ada cicak, lipas apa semua dalam tu. (Really angry tone)
Aisha: Tikus ada? (Fascinated) Tikus ada tak Nanny? (Kept on asking until my mom answered)

Scene #3: She is obsessed with a Korean cartoon called Larva
Aisha: When I grow up, I want to be a Larva
Me: Kenapa nak jadi Larva, Larva tu kan ulat
Aisha: Larva tu bantal peluk lah!

Most of the time, it is hard to scold this one.

A couple of days ago, Love and I heard this song on Spotify which brings back all the good memories, a song I kept on repeat when I was pregnant with Aisha. We called it the "Aisha song".

Aisha Asyikin, if you read this one day, I am so thankful to have you in my life. You are a prayer comes true. Alhamdulillah, thanks to the Almighty for giving you excellent health and intelligent mind. I hope you grow up knowing that Ibu, Abi, Kakak Khaira love you so much until eternity. And at the time being, this song sums up my feeling towards you, my Love.

...

Mindy Gledhill - All about the heart

I don't mind your odd behavior
It's the very thing I love
If you were an ice cream flavor
You would be my favorite one

My imagination sees you
Like a painting by Van Gogh
Starry nights and bright sunflowers
Follow you where you may go

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart

You're a butterfly held captive
Small and safe in your cocoon
Go on you can take your time
Time is said to heal all wounds

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart

Like a lock without a key
Like a mystery without a clue
There is no me if I cannot have you

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart


Friday, June 30, 2017

Aidilfitri 2017

As salam everyone,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!! Please please please forgive me for all the wrong doings, I pray may Allah accept all our deeds during Ramadhan and may He grant us all jannah.



Ramadhan this year has been the most meaningful for me so far.

Prior to Ramadhan, I have attended a talk in my office by Ustaz Pahrol Joui "Andainya Ini Ramadhan Terakhirku". I included the notes I took from the talk at the end of my entry. Simply said, it was a wake up call for me. I wanted to make my Ramadhan this time around more meaningful than the previous ones.

I had a bumpy start but by Day 5, I started to have my Ramadhan routine.

I want to have something that I continuously carry with me after this Ramadhan, and for this year, I wish to start Solat Witir even after Ramadhan. It's day 6 Syawal aandddd I failed miserably. Am totally not happy with that. May Allah swt grant me strength.

This Ramadhan, I felt the bliss of going to Surau for Tarawikh and so happy to listen to the interesting short tazkirah in between. And I learned something new this year..

I always read a saying, "Laylatul Qadr lebih baik dari 1000 bulan".

All these years, I thought "bulan" refers to moon, assuming it meant that during Laylatul Qadr, it shines so brightly better than 1000 moons.

Only this Ramadhan, I know that "bulan" refers to "month". Laylatul Qadr is better than 1000 months, meaning your good deeds in that night is equivalent to doing good deeds for 83 years!! Oh my, the ignorance.. (T_T)

See, I have been so ignorant all my life. Khaira and Aisha Asyikin, if you're reading this one day, I pray everyday that you will be better than me in every way, my love.

Oh, don't forget to puasa 6 everyoneee!! I pray this year, for the first time in my life, I will be given the opportunity to complete my Puasa 6.



...

As promised, the notes I took during Ustaz Pahrol Joui's talk. Kalau ada silap, mohon maafkan dan betulkan. Saya budak baru belajar.

3 jenis puasa:
1. Puasa awam: puasa jaga benda2 yg batalkan puasa sahaja
2. Puasa khusus: puasa jaga benda2 batalkan dan seluruh pancaindera dari buat dosa
3. Puasa muqorrabin: puasa jaga benda2 batalkan, pancaindera dan jaga hati dan fikiran dari buat dosa. Ingat Allah all the time, kalau sesaat tak ingat Allah rasa berdosa

Amalan wajib digandakan 70x, amalan sunat sama pahala dgn wajib

Rukun islam = proses. Cth: Bila kita ada iman, kita puasa. Kalau puasa kita elok, output ialah kita jadi org bertaqwa. Kalau tak jadi orang bertaqwa, improve our process; ie. puasa

How to increase iman so that puasa elok:

A) Input=niat
1. Niat kerana Allah swt; bukan ekonomi/kesihatan/hikmah/nak kurus etc
2. Didik anak kerana Allah; bukan kerana adat. Contoh: Solat raya penuh masjid, tapi solat subuh? Subuh jemaah dgn tarawikh?
3. Mcm mat saleh masuk masjid, bila keluar tak tutup aurat balik. Mcm tu juga kita tinggalkn ramadhan, dah boleh baca quran setiap kali lepas solat masa ramadhan, tinggalkan pula lepas ramadhan
4. Serahkan diri pada Allah, serahkan kekuatan kita untuk puasa pada Allah
5. Once umur 40 tahun tapi tak jaga rawatib, something is wrong with us
6. Bangun sahur istighfar, masa sahur paling mudah nak dapat keampunan

B) Proses = pohon
1. Siam (menahan)
2. Qiam (membangun)
-jaga solat subuh dan isyak berjemaah, seolah bersolat sepanjang malam
-jaga tahajud, taubat, hajat, witir
-ibadat sehingga letih nak buat maksiat
3. Quran
-semua ahli keluarga mesti ada 1 Quran hardcopy
4. Sedeqah
-sedekah menajamkan doa

C) Output = taqwa
1. Banyak kemenangan fizikal dlm bulan ramadhan (badar, khandaq). Sbb bila bertaqwa
2. Berjaya atau tak puasa kita? Surah al imran 134
- nafkah harta masa susah atau senang
- tahan marah
- Maafkan salah
- Bila dosa cepat taubat

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Our Brunei story!

For our yearly holiday this year, we went to Brunei.

"Why would you want to go to Brunei for a holiday?" We received that a lot. Haha!

I've always loved Borneo. I love Kundasang so so much, I could stay there. And Kuching, I would always want to go there again. So, I thought why not Brunei?

Brunei was nothing fancy, not the best place for a holiday but I've no regrets going there at all. Travelling for me is about learning the culture rather than exploring their attractions. I am more amazed at how they have Jawi signage everywhere, "Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah and Allahu Akhbar" signs by the highway; similar to the road signs we have in Malaysia, their super friendly people that are super proud of their Sultan and government and of course, their food!

First day.

We arrived on Friday afternoon, checked in at Palm Hotel, Kianggeh and had a good rest. That night, we went to Pasar Malam Gadong. Opens every night, variety of food as cheap as BND 1 (RM 3.20) for Nasi bungkus with ayam and sambal (tasted like Nasi Ayam Penyet).


Afterwards, we went for souvenirs hunting and just walked around Gadong, there are quite a number of shopping malls nearby. Surprisingly, you could see fabric shops and tailors everywhere in Brunei!


Second day.

Woke up early morning to Pantai Tungku.


It was very dirty, so I wouldn't suggest this place.

Afterwards to Kampung Ayer and boyyyy!!! This one is a must. Breathtaking view! They have schools, lots of schools above the river, it was one hugeeee beautiful village, suka sangat!


We tried the Ambuyat, Brunei's national dish made from the inside of Sago palm and eaten similarly like rice with all sorts of dishes. Not to my liking, but just have got to try!


We went for souvenir hunting again, omg so hard to find a souvenir shop here!!! Found one finally so I have just got to share the business card in case you were looking for a souvenir shop in Brunei.


Walk around their beautiful town that night, from South to East to Center of Brunei but this caught our eyes specifically ♥

Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddin Mosque


Third day.

Surprised with the road closure around the city area, apparently on Sunday morning they closed the road as it is their family day. But on our third day at Brunei particularly, it was their National Family Day, so there was a huge celebration. The biggest in that year.

We started of our day at Kianggeh Market, where I fell in love with the vibrant colours of the mengkuang bags, sounds of live Gamelan (mostly playing the late P. Ramlee's song), lots of antiques Keris and coins, I belong here..


Then we joined in the fun at their Family Day. There were birds singing competition, lots of rides, bubbles, shows, omg just lotssss of fun here!!!

Look who we met here? #proudMalaysian

Afterwards we headed to Royal Regalia Museum. Too bad they didn't allow any photos taken, it was amazing! A must visit, free entry and definitely I would say your visit is incomplete without visiting this museum.


Wrapped up our visit by performing Zohor at Jame Asr Hassanil Bolkiah Mosque, such beautiful mosque.



Then, it was time to go home. Returned the Vios that we rented for about RM560 3D2N at Hertz via Expedia, and 2.5 hours journey back to KL.

Brunei is a peaceful laid back country. The people there are not only humble, but also very modest. Although Brunei doesn't have much attractions, I am really happy there. :) I feel at peace, I feel safe, I feel very convenient. Thank you, Bruneians. And Alhamdulillah. I was reluctant to fly a week before our scheduled trip, but thank you Allah for making everything a smooth sailing journey for us.



2 months from now, I will be going to Bangkok pulak! Yay, will keep you guys updated.

Also, I am sorry for deactivating my blog for quite a while.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Playing tourist at KL and Putrajaya

Hi everyone!! What have you guys been up to this school holiday?

Alhamdulillah, I don't have teaching load this time around but actually am saving for our next trip, Holla Bruneiii!! Haha so Bangi-Putrajaya Hotel je lah ya kids.

The best coffee guys!

Anyhow, syukur to the Almighty that I am more free this time around because long holiday last December had been really hectic for me. Not only I was rushing to finish up the syllabus as it was the final quarter of the semester, on top of that, I was scheduled to Japan for a week. *cries a river* But Alhamdulillah after much discussion, the trainer agreed to come to UNITEN instead.

However, I was still all over Malaysia, a couple of days in Bersia and Janda Baik for our consultancy and research projects *cries* Hectic hectic month. So how do I entertain the kids?

Goodbye to all the theme parks I wish to visit. We play tourists around here instead. It was fun! Every weekend we brought the girls to places, so I thought of sharing with you guys!

National Art Gallery

*yawn* I know I know. But my girls loveeee art, so why not?



Taman Titiwangsa and Taman Layang-Layang, Kepong

Our first time flying a kite ever in our life, all of us.


Aquaria, KLCC

Because they were so into the Baby Shark song.



Taman Wetland, Putrajaya

Breathtaking view! Especially at the top of Menara Tinjau.


Taman Astaka Morocco, Putrajaya

Loving this so much! Don't mind the Japanese guy, I'm bringing my Sensei from Japan along!


Dondang Sayang Ride at Putrajaya


Taman China-Malaysia


And last but not least..

Bubbles and Beans Putrajaya Fun Ride!!


Not bad, right? I hope you have some ideas where to bring your kids with the leftover cuti we have. Have fun, everyone!! I'm definitely having fun this holiday break with my loved ones :)

And baby girls, sorry for not able to bring you theme parks this round. But tomorrow, I'm on leave and it will be a day just for the two of you exclusively. Excited!

Thursday, March 2, 2017

K at Globalart

Omg I'm so behind in updating my blog! February has been a super hectic month, but I will try to catch up in my writing in shaa Allah.

Last October, after being somewhat numb as my firstborn turned 5 (how time flies!) followed by being all hormonal looking at her drawings, she just got better and better, Subhanallah, I started to question myself. More stories of her drawings here.

K's simple drawing at 4
A's drawing at 2, also cantik what

Me, being the left brainer as always have never been really encouraging her with all these artsy stuff. She must have gotten that from my dad. I mean, I did not stop her, but the best I did was, "Look at your drawing, so pretttyyyy!" I couldn't imagine doing that for the rest of my life, it would get lame one day.

So that October evening, after I did my research, alone I traveled near my housing area to survey for an art class for her and I fell in love with Globalart immediately. Attended trial class, she loved it and just like that, my Saturday morning started early, no more lazing around the bed.

My worry is just one though, her social skills. Alhamdulillah, she has always been coping well academically, but at 4 she had a traumatized first day at kindy, so it was not easy for her to trust strangers. That was the difficulties we had with her previous swimming classes. Even more, she was the only Malay in her Globalart class. So, I talked to her class teacher and Globalart handled her really well. *salute*

She started with something simple..




To a bit more challenging..




Using crayons and water colour as well..



She made friends with other races, which I am so happy about since in her Kindy, they are only Malays there.

This one particular girl in Globalart caught my girls' attentions most..


K: "Ibu what are you doing in my art class with that monkey?"
A: "Ibu, why are you playing in Kakak's school?"

That is not me (T_T)

Although, in all seriousness, she does look like me at home, with her hair like that (T_T)

All was fun in her Globalart class, she joined for months, and we even participated her in colouring contest and so on. Only recently to discover that..

She doesn't really fancy colouring guys!! She likes drawing :'( In Globalart, they have to master colouring first before drawing, haha! Sorry, baby, noob mommy here!

But, she was still psyched learning something new. This was K, on her first day at 9am on Saturday morning. I looked the exact opposite with my pyjama still, thanks for asking.


After 3 months in Art class, did her colouring improve?

I would say they are pretty much the same.

3 months in Art class was quite pricey. It costs us around RM800, BUT.. it is a skill not me and Love can teach her. We are simply not art people.

To look beyond, it is not just the colouring skills we hope she would pick up.

It's the social skills of mingling with other races, the discipline of listening to instructions, the patience of colouring, the thoroughness of not leaving white space, etc.

Did she become more creative on her drawings or other artsy stuff? Oh yes.

This was what she did for me, a few days ago.. (no reference whatsoever, a quiz and bear in mind she was just 5y4m).


Was it worth it?

For us yes, because I did not spend on her reading, mental arithmetic or mengaji class, those are skills I could teach her at home, and I have been doing that everyday since she was 1. But, not arts or colouring. Let her stimulate her right brain. And if I could spend that much for my facial or car or house etc, why not for my biggest amanah in the world.

Khaira, Aisha, may you grow up well, contributing something to the ummah and aim for jannah. Much love, baby girls!

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

A wonderful end of 2016

Bismillah and hello 2017! ♥

Alhamdulillah I have achieved  most of my wishlist in 2016.

1. Umrah
2. Kuching
3. Get CEng
4. Write a book
5. Wean off Aisha at 2
6. K 30 surahs
7. Save 60k
8. Copyright
9. Gold any exhibition

I started the year with us performing umrah, I miss Makkah and Madinah everyday. Everyday for the rest of my life now.

Then, I spent about a week in Kuching.

I managed to wean off lil Aisha at 2y2m

Managed to get gold in ITEX and SIIF 2016, Alhamdulillah.

Filed one copyright for my Master student.

Recently, I officially obtained my Chartered Engineer, the ones I worked for since end of 2014.

And a couple of days before 2016 ended, my book is launched.


Just when I thought wishlist number 4 is yet to be achieved for 2016, I got an offer to publish one.

A reminder for me to always ask from Him. Nothing is impossible for Him. Ask and have faith.

Alhamdulillah, I am so blessed. I hope 2017 will be an even better year. And I hope I get the chance to be in the place where my heart belongs and the ones that I long to be again this year, in shaa Allah!

Monday, January 2, 2017

Bukit Tinggi

It has been a while since we went on a holiday, so for Christmas, we spent ours in Bukit Tinggi,

I stayed in Meranti Park Suites I rented via AirBnB. RM450 per night. On the way, I dropped by to my old neighbor's wedding. Say hello to my childhood friend, Athirah!


First day

I loveee our apartment a lot, and Nicole was very helpful!

Cosy
View outside our apartment

We headed first to Animal Farm, RM5 per entry. The kids had fun.



We had barbecue outside the apartment that night, food was super expensive here.




Second day

Started our day early, which was lucky as the traffic got heavier later on. Paid RM15 per pax to get at the top of Bukit Tinggi.

Colmar Tropicale, so breathtaking.



Watch out for the performance time, some dancing and at the end, the kids can dance with the dancers as well.



Hiked further up, you will find a Japanese Village.


There is also organic farm and botanical garden in the middle of jungle. And adventure park. All muka so tired already, so no pics worth uploaded, heh!

Barbecue again at night.


Third day.

Woke up with a misty morning!


Went to see the horses but joyride was too expensive. 7 times more expensive than here. So, no joyride and K was a bit cranky.

Of course, this girl couldn't care less. Sibuk cari kucing while orang tengok kuda.

At the club house, there were all sorts of entertainment.


Played two rounds of bowling and archery and we headed home to a busy week. So many things to update! Happy new year everyone!