With a very heavy heart, I'm pouring myself out in this post, with only one intention.. for those mothers who experienced / are experiencing the same situation as mine to know that you are not alone.
On April, I deactivated my Facebook, my Instagram and most importantly this blog that meant the world to me.. Because I was at the lowest point of my life.
Khaira started to have dry cough back in February, just in time when she was able to swim on her own. Thanks to multiple swimming classes she attended, to Love whom has been training her every week, she made very good progress. No float needed in adult's pool at the age of 5 and we were beaming with pride.
After a week of dry cough, the cough turned into wet coughs. I found the pattern to be weird as normally K would only have dry cough 3 days max, because the nebulizer, steaming and percussion that we did at least three times a day would help changed her dry cough to wet cough faster. After a few days of wet cough she always made full recovery.
A week after wet cough with no sign of recovery, we sent her to Dr. Nadhir. Two weeks after her cough changed from wet to slightly dry but no sign of recovery and again off to Dr. Nadhir. A week and no progress, I started to panic.
So I tried homeopathy as it usually worked for her and everyday of Sonotron. After every session of Sonotron, she would discharge lots of phlegms. She could spit her own phlegm at this time, but the phlegm seemed to be ongoing everytime and it scared me a lot.
In between homeopathy and Sonotron, we took blood test and chest xray, GP said she was okay, nothing to worry it could probably just asthma.
My instinct told me it was something else.
I made an appointment with a paed, the moment the doc saw the same xray from the GP's clinic, she showed me that fine thin line that separated K's upper lungs and lower lungs.
"Did she attend any swimming class?"
And the next statement followed.
"I suspected she has Mycoplasma pneumonia from her swimming pool," Paed said and the blood test confirmed.
2 antibiotics and a week later, things were the same. Came back to Paed and guess what, one of the antibiotics given by the Paed was under dosed. (T_T)
Before I knew it, K was warded. First time in her life. A day before my brother's wedding.
6 days of Rosephine + percussion everyday and neb 4 hourly to 6 hourly later, my girl was discharged with having to wear mask in public area. She got better and better Alhamdulillah. Aisha had Mycoplasma too, but because we detected it early, she made full recovery after three weeks with home care.
Me, on the other hand, during K's recovery, I went into depression. Maybe paranoid. Everyday I woke up, I feel at a dark place as if no doctors I could trust anymore. Between misdiagnosed and under dosage of antibiotics and everything that happened in between, I couldn't sleep. I thought of dark thoughts everytime I drove home to and back from work. I cried everyday.
One day it got so bad, I talked to Love and I said I wanted to talk to a psychiatrist. And I meant it. He was concerned and asked me to tell him everything, I did. And I felt better. I don't like talking about something that upsets me, perhaps I held too many feelings inside me it ate me. But I am myself now, Alhamdulillah, I can say I am 98% myself. :)
K on the other hand is making very good progress.
But Mycoplasma held tight to your cell, so every now and then, 4 months after, she still had a minor coughing fit.The rest of the days she would be ok. Doc always comforted me that they are good cough, you don't want to keep the bacteria inside. Only with productive cough the remaining of the dead bacteria are able to get out of the system.
She still on/off home nebulizer, still had her steam, percussion and physio everyday 4 months after.. But she made very good progress.
So mommies, they will recover with Allah's will. It is just a matter of time, have faith and be strong ok. You are not alone, I promise.Through the journey, remember that every tiny things we did matter to the Almighty.
"He who has done an atom's weight of good shall see it" - Al-Zalzala, ayat 7.