Khaira’s kindy graduation

Remember those times when I left K in this one kindy and she had the most miserable time of her life. Quickly she became inteovert until I saw one picture of her, under the table alone while the other kids having the time of their life.

I talked to the teacher and she made a remark saying somewhat like Khaira was always the weird ones. Then, I found Genius Aulad and slowly but surely Khaira gained her confidence back.

It was 2 years and 4 months ago.

Last month, Khaira had her graduation. Her last in Genius Aulad.

A few days before the concert, we received the agenda of the event. 

Love realized that K’s name was in the agenda. She told me she would recite some surahs, I didn’t know she was selected. I couldn’t be prouder. I have been training her to recite surahs since 1. And at 6, she had her first public recitation!

When we arrived, the teacher greeted her with a bouquet of chocolate, and I thought it was really thoughtful.

Khaira together with her classmate, were the emcee for the day. She was so cool on stage, not nervous at all. I was impressed!

Look at how much our girl has improved. If you were to ask me 3 years ago, when I was worried sick looking at her having difficulties socializing, I wouldn’t even dream of getting her to this stage.

I was almost in tears. It is a loonggggg tiring journey for both Love and I and also the teachers to get her to this level. Of course we know it is worth it in the end.

Seeing K in her graduation robe, somehow brings somewhat a relief for me that her first training to socialize, to be a good team player as well as a leader and to be a good student has somewhat completed. I always told the teacher that I am not worried about her academic as she is just six (of course I never for a moment took it for granted), my priority is for her to know how to socialize and differentiate good influences and the not so good ones.

Anyway, right after Khaira was on a month leave when she was infected with mycoplasma, the teacher nominated her for “Cabaran Bijak Membaca 2017” to represent GA Bandar Putra Permai reading challenge among Genius Aulad nationwide.

5 months after, I have totally forgotten about it. But during the ihtifal, the winner was announced and guess what? Alhamdulillah, K won “The Most Sparkling Reader” award!

I was speechless and couldn’t thank the Almighty more.

Her performance with her friends was entertaining. It’s hard to see her leaving her best friends.

And her teachers.

And her cook and her transporter, they are all super nice people, I cried on her last day. So bad.

Thank you Teacher Rozita and all the teachers, Mak Su, Encik Sopi and Encik Mat the transporter. You have all worked together to bring in the confidence in my lil girl, I could have never repay that. I pray may Allah swt bless all of you always.

Khaira Asyikin, one day, I am sure you are going to read this.. remember these people always, keep them in your doa and prayers for we have been blessed with their kindness to get us here. Alhamdulillah.

Khaira turns six!

Can you believe it? My first born turned six on 17th October 2017.

Some of you might be following me since my first hypnobirth story and guess what, it was six years ago.

I feel so humbled and blessed to have been given the chance to raise up such lovely brilliant girl like you, Khaira Asyikin.

We invited our family over for a small birthday party for Khaira and had a small celebration at her school.

She is at the moment obsessed with a cartoon called “The Loud House”.

Previously, she was obsessed with “The Powerpuff Girls” partly because I used to be obsessed with PPG and our bed sheet and decos in my room at my parents’ place are filled with them.

Every year near their birthday I would asked them what they would like to be when they grow up. It’s fun to see the answers getting mature each year. It’s no different this year.

“I want to be a Professor,” was K’s answer. Professor was a big word for a girl her age. She was way too mature than I thought, well at least at that point of time. I thought she was inspired by me, because you know at 32, and at the field where I am, of course my ultimatum in terms of career is to be a professor.

“Do you know why I wanna be a Professor, Ibu?” She asked.

“Why?” I asked her back, grinning.

“Because I wanna create Powerpuff Girls just like Professor Utonium!” She replied excitedly.

(T_T)

My 32nd birthday

Ohh so old!

Sadly, I couldn't take leave on my birthday as my leave this year was very very limited since K was warded last April.

I had to work as usual, it was the first week of semester.

Went to lab and I received a call. Shortly after..

Received a bouquet of flower from my aunt. Awww...

After lab, had a lunch date with my favourite girls.

While having my lunch, this BFG came to surprise me with a box of KLduck in Olive Green. I have always wanted KLduck, specifically in Olive Green. My fourth duck, yay!! (2 out of 4 from Love) But it's not the Duck that really matters, it is the fact that he came all the way from work for lunch to meet me!

Had dinner with my beloved back at home. Had too much of fancy food, I told my mom I just wanted a comfort food this time around, Tomyam from my favourite Mamak. Sorry guys. (They were expecting some steaks from steak house, hehe)

I am 32, Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for my excellent health and my wealth (my family and friends). Thank you for giving me a husband who still shower me with surprises and spoil me with gifts. I pray you will give me an idea on how do I surprise him back during his birthday next month, Ameen.

Stranded in Tioman

Day 1: Pantai Air Papan

For our family trip this year, we traveled 4 hours to Mersing and stayed in Cakemania Homestay that we booked via AirBnB.

The view from our homestay's window

The location is just right, at the heart of Mersing city and about 15 minutes drive to Pantai Air Papan.

The view of Pantai Air Papan was soooo breathtaking, it has been a while since I have been to clean white sand beach, we spent hours there on our first day.

Day 2: Tioman

Morning of Day 2, we started our morning early at Mersing jetty and off to Tioman. The ferry schedule depends on the tide, we booked earlier via https://tiomanferryticket.com. The ferry ride took around 2 hours via big air conditioned ferry.

We arrived at Genting jetty, Tioman just before 1pm. Water is clearer here compared to Pantai Air Papan, but the sand in Mersing is so much whiter. Not much restaurant available in Tioman, nonetheless the price is considered affordable. One decent dish costs around RM10.

From Genting jetty to our chalet took around 10 minutes walk. We did not see any cars in Tioman, mode of transportation is motorcycle. The village ambiance makes Tioman a very peaceful place to stay, but beach-wise, I prefer Mersing. Beach in Tioman is filled with corals, so need to be very careful not to step on it, plus it is soooo much hotter in Tioman. Nonetheless, snorkelling here is a must. Goodness so cantik all the corals and fishes!

We stayed at Aguna Resort that I booked via Agoda, it was a nice place to stay and I recommend both Cakemania and Aguna.

Day 3: Stranded in Tioman

Our ferry back to Tioman was supposed to be at 830am that Sunday morning, but we needed to be there an hour earlier. Guess what time did the ferry arrive? 2.30pm. We were stranded for 6 hours there :( At least they could have informed us via SMS/Whatsapp right?

As you could see in the pictures, there were two toddlers, on pregnant lady (not me) and both my parents, stranded 6 hours at jetty, imagine the heat.

But that was the only beginning. They sent speedboats rather than ferry to pick us up andddd.. our ferry ran out of fuel. We were again stranded for 1.5 hours in the middle of the ocean.

A small ferry picked us up, but the water was too shallow by then. The ferry could not get to Mersing jetty, hence we were transferred to a smaller boat.

But water was too shallow, the boat hit some corals and water started getting inside the boat. The boys needed to push the boat so it could get to Mersing jetty while I tried to scoop the water out of the boat, what a drama.

All our luggage and us were wet. I couldn't care less, I just wanted my girls to arrive at Mersing safely. Some part of me thought we could never make it to land, Nauzubillah. Alhamdulillah at 6pm, we landed at Mersing jetty safely.

Day 4: Unexpected extension of our trip

We needed another night to stay as all of us were too tired to drive back to KL due to the unexpected incident.

Drop by one last time at Pantai Air Papan, wouldn't miss Tioman at all. But definitely will come back to Mersing just for this view.

Moral of the story: Do not go to Tioman during peak hour with toddlers. It was public holiday on Friday when we went there.

Exploring Bangkok in 10 hours!

When Love invited me to come with him to Foo Fighters in Bangkok, I was pissed! He refused to bring me to Coldplay in Singapore as he said the tickets were too expensive. So to protest, I did not go.

But I wanted to go to Bangkok as I have never been there before. 7 years back, we drove all the way to Dannok but we did not go beyond that. I wanted to get the feel of real Thailand.

So I made a crazy decision. Took the first flight to Bangkok alone to meet my post Foo Fighters husband and went back that evening itself so I'd get to spend the night with my girls.

It was fun!

My flight was at 6.40am Malaysia time and I reached Thailand at 8am their time. Love waited for me at the airport and off we went to Wat Arun around 40 mins travelling by taxi from airport.

Then we took an hour boat ride along Chao Phraya river. Got the feel of buying pineapple from floating market.

Afterwards we strolled along the street until we reached the museum.

From museum we took a 45 minutes tuk tuk to Terminal 21, their famous shopping mall. Had the best Tom Yam Goong at The Fish Cafe.

Then straight to airport to fly home at 5.40 pm Thai time.

Feeling all gangsta you see, flying alone, tuk tuk without helmet or seat belt and boat ride without safety jacket for quite some times. Then, when I remember trying to hide all these tiny details to my dad back at home, I realized I'm still a rebellious daughter 😅

Surviving Mycoplasma in Malaysia

With a very heavy heart, I'm pouring myself out in this post, with only one intention.. for those mothers who experienced / are experiencing the same situation as mine to know that you are not alone.

On April, I deactivated my Facebook, my Instagram and most importantly this blog that meant the world to me.. Because I was at the lowest point of my life.

Khaira started to have dry cough back in February, just in time when she was able to swim on her own. Thanks to multiple swimming classes she attended, to Love whom has been training her every week, she made very good progress. No float needed in adult's pool at the age of 5 and we were beaming with pride.

After a week of dry cough, the cough turned into wet coughs. I found the pattern to be weird as normally K would only have dry cough 3 days max, because the nebulizer, steaming and percussion that we did at least three times a day would help changed her dry cough to wet cough faster. After a few days of wet cough she always made full recovery.

A week after wet cough with no sign of recovery, we sent her to Dr. Nadhir. Two weeks after her cough changed from wet to slightly dry but no sign of recovery and again off to Dr. Nadhir. A week and no progress, I started to panic.

So I tried homeopathy as it usually worked for her and everyday of Sonotron. After every session of Sonotron, she would discharge lots of phlegms. She could spit her own phlegm at this time, but the phlegm seemed to be ongoing everytime and it scared me a lot.

In between homeopathy and Sonotron, we took blood test and chest xray, GP said she was okay, nothing to worry it could probably just asthma.

My instinct told me it was something else.

I made an appointment with a paed, the moment the doc saw the same xray from the GP's clinic, she showed me that fine thin line that separated K's upper lungs and lower lungs.

"Did she attend any swimming class?"

And the next statement followed.

"I suspected she has Mycoplasma pneumonia from her swimming pool," Paed said and the blood test confirmed.

2 antibiotics and a week later, things were the same. Came back to Paed and guess what, one of the antibiotics given by the Paed was under dosed. (T_T)

Before I knew it, K was warded. First time in her life. A day before my brother's wedding.

6 days of Rosephine + percussion everyday and neb 4 hourly to 6 hourly later, my girl was discharged with having to wear mask in public area. She got better and better Alhamdulillah. Aisha had Mycoplasma too, but because we detected it early, she made full recovery after three weeks with home care.

Me, on the other hand, during K's recovery, I went into depression. Maybe paranoid. Everyday I woke up, I feel at a dark place as if no doctors I could trust anymore. Between misdiagnosed and under dosage of antibiotics and everything that happened in between, I couldn't sleep. I thought of dark thoughts everytime I drove home to and back from work. I cried everyday.

One day it got so bad, I talked to Love and I said I wanted to talk to a psychiatrist. And I meant it. He was concerned and asked me to tell him everything, I did. And I felt better. I don't like talking about something that upsets me, perhaps I held too many feelings inside me it ate me. But I am myself now, Alhamdulillah, I can say I am 98% myself. :)

K on the other hand is making very good progress.

But Mycoplasma held tight to your cell, so every now and then, 4 months after, she still had a minor coughing fit.The rest of the days she would be ok. Doc always comforted me that they are good cough, you don't want to keep the bacteria inside. Only with productive cough the remaining of the dead bacteria are able to get out of the system.

She still on/off home nebulizer, still had her steam, percussion and physio everyday 4 months after.. But she made very good progress.

So mommies, they will recover with Allah's will. It is just a matter of time, have faith and be strong ok. You are not alone, I promise.Through the journey, remember that every tiny things we did matter to the Almighty.

"He who has done an atom's weight of good shall see it" - Al-Zalzala, ayat 7.

Aisha is 3!

You read that right! *sobs*

Both Love and I got a little bit more melancholy this time around. Maybe during the girls' previous birthdays, I was either pregnant or breastfeeding, so you know.. Just couldn't get over that tiring stage.

But now, I'm at my most comfortable stage. Happily raising up my girls and enjoying every second when suddenly, BAM! She's three. She's still a baby, sleeping on top of me at night, drinking her milk from bottle on my lap, how come she is 3??

*cries*

At 3, this precious finally have a daily routine of mengaji and hafazan though just 5 mins a day. She fluently memorized Al Fatihah and Al Ikhlas alongside with many other doas. Her terribble twos were over the past 2 months, she became more manageable and mature. Next year, she will start schooling *faint*

Birthday cake from Mama Long

She is manja and full of character. Some of the funny things she said throughout the year that I still remember..

Scene #1: She insisted to eat on her own.
Me: Kalau tumpah nanti, kena gigit, faham?
Aisha: Faham, ibu!
Me: Kalau tumpah kena apa? (To check her understanding)
Aisha: Kena baju! (T_T)

Scene #2: My mom scolded her for pulling Khaira's hair
Mom: Kalau Aisha buat lagi, Nanny kurung dalam store. Ada cicak, lipas apa semua dalam tu. (Really angry tone)
Aisha: Tikus ada? (Fascinated) Tikus ada tak Nanny? (Kept on asking until my mom answered)

Scene #3: She is obsessed with a Korean cartoon called Larva
Aisha: When I grow up, I want to be a Larva
Me: Kenapa nak jadi Larva, Larva tu kan ulat
Aisha: Larva tu bantal peluk lah!

Most of the time, it is hard to scold this one.

A couple of days ago, Love and I heard this song on Spotify which brings back all the good memories, a song I kept on repeat when I was pregnant with Aisha. We called it the "Aisha song".

Aisha Asyikin, if you read this one day, I am so thankful to have you in my life. You are a prayer comes true. Alhamdulillah, thanks to the Almighty for giving you excellent health and intelligent mind. I hope you grow up knowing that Ibu, Abi, Kakak Khaira love you so much until eternity. And at the time being, this song sums up my feeling towards you, my Love.

When we celebrated it with the whole gang

...

Mindy Gledhill - All about the heart

I don't mind your odd behavior
It's the very thing I love
If you were an ice cream flavor
You would be my favorite one

My imagination sees you
Like a painting by Van Gogh
Starry nights and bright sunflowers
Follow you where you may go

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart

You're a butterfly held captive
Small and safe in your cocoon
Go on you can take your time
Time is said to heal all wounds

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart

Like a lock without a key
Like a mystery without a clue
There is no me if I cannot have you

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart

Aidilfitri 2017

As salam everyone,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!!! Please please please forgive me for all the wrong doings, I pray may Allah accept all our deeds during Ramadhan and may He grant us all jannah.

Ramadhan this year has been the most meaningful for me so far.

Prior to Ramadhan, I have attended a talk in my office by Ustaz Pahrol Joui "Andainya Ini Ramadhan Terakhirku". I included the notes I took from the talk at the end of my entry. Simply said, it was a wake up call for me. I wanted to make my Ramadhan this time around more meaningful than the previous ones.

I had a bumpy start but by Day 5, I started to have my Ramadhan routine.

I want to have something that I continuously carry with me after this Ramadhan, and for this year, I wish to start Solat Witir even after Ramadhan. It's day 6 Syawal aandddd I failed miserably. Am totally not happy with that. May Allah swt grant me strength.

This Ramadhan, I felt the bliss of going to Surau for Tarawikh and so happy to listen to the interesting short tazkirah in between. And I learned something new this year..

I always read a saying, "Laylatul Qadr lebih baik dari 1000 bulan".

All these years, I thought "bulan" refers to moon, assuming it meant that during Laylatul Qadr, it shines so brightly better than 1000 moons.

Only this Ramadhan, I know that "bulan" refers to "month". Laylatul Qadr is better than 1000 months, meaning your good deeds in that night is equivalent to doing good deeds for 83 years!! Oh my, the ignorance.. (T_T)

See, I have been so ignorant all my life. Khaira and Aisha Asyikin, if you're reading this one day, I pray everyday that you will be better than me in every way, my love.

Oh, don't forget to puasa 6 everyoneee!! I pray this year, for the first time in my life, I will be given the opportunity to complete my Puasa 6.

...

As promised, the notes I took during Ustaz Pahrol Joui's talk. Kalau ada silap, mohon maafkan dan betulkan. Saya budak baru belajar.

3 jenis puasa:
1. Puasa awam: puasa jaga benda2 yg batalkan puasa sahaja
2. Puasa khusus: puasa jaga benda2 batalkan dan seluruh pancaindera dari buat dosa
3. Puasa muqorrabin: puasa jaga benda2 batalkan, pancaindera dan jaga hati dan fikiran dari buat dosa. Ingat Allah all the time, kalau sesaat tak ingat Allah rasa berdosa

Amalan wajib digandakan 70x, amalan sunat sama pahala dgn wajib

Rukun islam = proses. Cth: Bila kita ada iman, kita puasa. Kalau puasa kita elok, output ialah kita jadi org bertaqwa. Kalau tak jadi orang bertaqwa, improve our process; ie. puasa

How to increase iman so that puasa elok:

A) Input=niat
1. Niat kerana Allah swt; bukan ekonomi/kesihatan/hikmah/nak kurus etc
2. Didik anak kerana Allah; bukan kerana adat. Contoh: Solat raya penuh masjid, tapi solat subuh? Subuh jemaah dgn tarawikh?
3. Mcm mat saleh masuk masjid, bila keluar tak tutup aurat balik. Mcm tu juga kita tinggalkn ramadhan, dah boleh baca quran setiap kali lepas solat masa ramadhan, tinggalkan pula lepas ramadhan
4. Serahkan diri pada Allah, serahkan kekuatan kita untuk puasa pada Allah
5. Once umur 40 tahun tapi tak jaga rawatib, something is wrong with us
6. Bangun sahur istighfar, masa sahur paling mudah nak dapat keampunan

B) Proses = pohon
1. Siam (menahan)
2. Qiam (membangun)
-jaga solat subuh dan isyak berjemaah, seolah bersolat sepanjang malam
-jaga tahajud, taubat, hajat, witir
-ibadat sehingga letih nak buat maksiat
3. Quran
-semua ahli keluarga mesti ada 1 Quran hardcopy
4. Sedeqah
-sedekah menajamkan doa

C) Output = taqwa
1. Banyak kemenangan fizikal dlm bulan ramadhan (badar, khandaq). Sbb bila bertaqwa
2. Berjaya atau tak puasa kita? Surah al imran 134
- nafkah harta masa susah atau senang
- tahan marah
- Maafkan salah
- Bila dosa cepat taubat

Our Brunei story!

For our yearly holiday this year, we went to Brunei.

"Why would you want to go to Brunei for a holiday?" We received that a lot. Haha!

I've always loved Borneo. I love Kundasang so so much, I could stay there. And Kuching, I would always want to go there again. So, I thought why not Brunei?

Brunei was nothing fancy, not the best place for a holiday but I've no regrets going there at all. Travelling for me is about learning the culture rather than exploring their attractions. I am more amazed at how they have Jawi signage everywhere, "Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah and Allahu Akhbar" signs by the highway; similar to the road signs we have in Malaysia, their super friendly people that are super proud of their Sultan and government and of course, their food!

First day.

We arrived on Friday afternoon, checked in at Palm Hotel, Kianggeh and had a good rest. That night, we went to Pasar Malam Gadong. Opens every night, variety of food as cheap as BND 1 (RM 3.20) for Nasi bungkus with ayam and sambal (tasted like Nasi Ayam Penyet).

Afterwards, we went for souvenirs hunting and just walked around Gadong, there are quite a number of shopping malls nearby. Surprisingly, you could see fabric shops and tailors everywhere in Brunei!


Second day.

Woke up early morning to Pantai Tungku.

It was very dirty, so I wouldn't suggest this place.

Afterwards to Kampung Ayer and boyyyy!!! This one is a must. Breathtaking view! They have schools, lots of schools above the river, it was one hugeeee beautiful village, suka sangat!

We tried the Ambuyat, Brunei's national dish made from the inside of Sago palm and eaten similarly like rice with all sorts of dishes. Not to my liking, but just have got to try!

We went for souvenir hunting again, omg so hard to find a souvenir shop here!!! Found one finally so I have just got to share the business card in case you were looking for a souvenir shop in Brunei.

Walk around their beautiful town that night, from South to East to Center of Brunei but this caught our eyes specifically ♥

Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddin Mosque

Third day.

Surprised with the road closure around the city area, apparently on Sunday morning they closed the road as it is their family day. But on our third day at Brunei particularly, it was their National Family Day, so there was a huge celebration. The biggest in that year.

We started of our day at Kianggeh Market, where I fell in love with the vibrant colours of the mengkuang bags, sounds of live Gamelan (mostly playing the late P. Ramlee's song), lots of antiques Keris and coins, I belong here..

Then we joined in the fun at their Family Day. There were birds singing competition, lots of rides, bubbles, shows, omg just lotssss of fun here!!!

Look who we met here? #proudMalaysian

Afterwards we headed to Royal Regalia Museum. Too bad they didn't allow any photos taken, it was amazing! A must visit, free entry and definitely I would say your visit is incomplete without visiting this museum.

Wrapped up our visit by performing Zohor at Jame Asr Hassanil Bolkiah Mosque, such beautiful mosque.

Then, it was time to go home. Returned the Vios that we rented for about RM560 3D2N at Hertz via Expedia, and 2.5 hours journey back to KL.

Brunei is a peaceful laid back country. The people there are not only humble, but also very modest. Although Brunei doesn't have much attractions, I am really happy there. :) I feel at peace, I feel safe, I feel very convenient. Thank you, Bruneians. And Alhamdulillah. I was reluctant to fly a week before our scheduled trip, but thank you Allah for making everything a smooth sailing journey for us.

2 months from now, I will be going to Bangkok pulak! Yay, will keep you guys updated.

Also, I am sorry for deactivating my blog for quite a while.