A dear friend came up to me one evening, very subtly putting things in my mind, testing the water. I've been through this before. And finally she confessed,
"I've an affair with somebody's husband."
...
"Don't judge me."
"I'm not!" Yes, truth is I was not. I was too busy judging the guy actually, and their marriage.
There will be some times in your life, you couldn't help but reflecting yourself and relating all the stories you heard. There must be a reason why she talked about this to me. And a reason why I heard about this from her.
See, it works both ways. Perhaps I was sent from the above to help her. And she was sent from the above as a reminder to me.
"What made him attracted to you?" I asked.
The usual answer. Wife is a successful lady in her career. Too intelligent to impress whatever he has to say about his works. My friend is way younger and of course intelligent successful man tends to be charismatic to her.
Noted. Big bold caps lock statement in my head.
"So what now?"
"I want to get out, but I don't know how. What do you think?"
"Honestly, if you stay, you're breaking your own heart. Would you stay knowing that with someone else you'll always be that someone's priority."
"But he did things for me that I don't think I can find in other guys."
Old habits are like that. Very hard to get away from the familiarity you have, very scared to walk to uncertainty, paranoid to lose what you thought was the best, but that's life. If you stop the adventure, you stop life.
"Baby steps ok."
But yesterday, about two weeks after she decided to tell me the whole thing, from the hardest time to even make the decision to walk away, she took a giant step to stop everything and walk out of it straight away.
A win win win situation. I could not be prouder.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Shortcuts
Shortcuts, don't we all love them?
What is not to like?
It saves time, it's efficient, much shorter way to get to the destination.
But, life is not a shortcut.. Like it or not.
You need to wander around, make mistakes, get lost once in a while, in order for you to be sure and to remember the correct path to the destination.
The same applies to research life.
If you think you can do a research via shortcut, don't bother calling yourself a researcher, seriously.
What is not to like?
It saves time, it's efficient, much shorter way to get to the destination.
But, life is not a shortcut.. Like it or not.
You need to wander around, make mistakes, get lost once in a while, in order for you to be sure and to remember the correct path to the destination.
The same applies to research life.
If you think you can do a research via shortcut, don't bother calling yourself a researcher, seriously.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sinister
I have an obsession with..
..a real life..
serial killer :(
I know.. I know.. Please don't judge me.
It all started with Zodiac the killer. Then after years, I found my shelf started to fill up with some serial killer books and I was glued on documentary about them and at one time, I had to stop myself from finding out about them when I was pregnant.
Such obsession that I was not at all proud of.
I found it mind stimulating about how they managed to deceit the police; on how they teased them, I mean come on.. Are you not challenged by this??
I guess, when I read/watched about them, I am more focused on the clues they left behind. Or the covering up they did, such genius people, but for the wrong purpose.
But after watching 'Sinister' yesterday, my glass shattered. I never actually imagined 'how', always 'why' they killed their victims.
And the 'how' is really sickening! Made me dizzy the whole day yesterday.
Oh what a way to end my date with Love.
..a real life..
serial killer :(
I know.. I know.. Please don't judge me.
It all started with Zodiac the killer. Then after years, I found my shelf started to fill up with some serial killer books and I was glued on documentary about them and at one time, I had to stop myself from finding out about them when I was pregnant.
Such obsession that I was not at all proud of.
I found it mind stimulating about how they managed to deceit the police; on how they teased them, I mean come on.. Are you not challenged by this??
But after watching 'Sinister' yesterday, my glass shattered. I never actually imagined 'how', always 'why' they killed their victims.
And the 'how' is really sickening! Made me dizzy the whole day yesterday.
Oh what a way to end my date with Love.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Khaira's first year food review
As some of you might already know, Khaira Asyikin was born a colicky baby as similar to me. As she reached 6 months old, she could better tolerate my milk, except when I ate sticky rice (pulut) of all kind be it tapai, or even lemang, then the three of us would have a sleepless night. But the new challenge was that we had to introduce her solid. And here are some guidelines for parents who are having colicky baby like ours.
Khaira started to eat solid a couple of days before she turned 6 months. Due to her condition, we followed the three days rule strictly. We first introduced her to banana. Then, we introduced her to brown rice. Just brown rice; no fruits whatsoever.
Bear in mind though, that wholesome food is more gassy than the white ones. Thus, after three days of having brown rice, we mixed them with white rice. Later we added barley, and a few days later, Khaira ate a combination of white rice + brown rice + barley + oat.
This rice combination is actually a Korean's culture, where they would put a lot of other combinations in the rice such as sticky rice, beans, nuts, even sometimes sunflower seed. I found it a brilliant idea when I had them at my MIL's place, less carbs = more nutritions = happy :)
Since I'm working, what I do is that during the weekends, I would wash the white rice, brown rice and barley, let them dry. Mix them together with oat and blend for a week's stock and store them in a refrigerator. This way, I would be able to cook the porridge in less than 20 minutes.
Until Khaira was 8 months old, she was a vegetarian. I wanted her digestive system to work slowly. I gave her all the fruits that she could tolerate; from my observations: Dates, honeydew, banana, papaya and grapes. But she doesn't fancy grapes that much. As of vegetables, she could tolerate carrot, zucchini, salad, cauliflower, and spinach. She doesn't fancy spinach that much.
After 8 months, I started to introduce fish and tofu. Her favourites are Siakap and Salmon. I introduced Siakap, Salmon, Merah, Tenggiri, Dory, and Senangin. She ate three times a day, a combination of white rice + brown rice + barley + oat, fish and vege. So far, her digestive system tolerates to all the fishes that we gave her, but bear in mind that some fish gives itchiness to baby. So, I did not give to Khaira the ones that I couldn't eat during confinement.
At 10 months, I introduced chicken and mushroom but she couldn't take it. She developed a skin rash, I decided to postpone them. I thought it's about time Khaira needed some snack, thus I introduced her to bread, first the white ones, then wholemeal, she loved them a lot.
As she reached a year old now, she could tolerate chicken. I added some variety to her food, yesterday I made some noodle soup for her. With onions and anchovy as a little flavour. I grilled her fish, previously just rebus, added some sesame or vegetable oil. After this, I intend to introduce spaghetti to her. Also, bought some Heinz teething biscuit for her snack, would try today.
I never added salt or sugar in her food. Ketchup or chicken stock lagilah tak. Tried to give her the healthiest that I could.
Every parents has different things that they are particular about. I'm very particular about what goes in into my baby's mouth. And yes, I received some distructive comments about what I gave to my baby. And yes, I wonder why did they feel troubled about what I gave to my baby. I was the one who needed to carry a pan everywhere to heat up my baby food during Raya, I was the one to wake up at 5.15am every working day to cook for her.
But, really it's ok. Soon, Khaira will reach 2 years old, then she shall have more freedom to eat as what everybody else eats. Not that I wanted to take all her freedom, just thought that if she was going to spend the rest of her life, eating like us, why not just delay it a little. :)
P/S: Food that gives her colic the most: Potato, watermelon, sticky rice.
Khaira started to eat solid a couple of days before she turned 6 months. Due to her condition, we followed the three days rule strictly. We first introduced her to banana. Then, we introduced her to brown rice. Just brown rice; no fruits whatsoever.
Bear in mind though, that wholesome food is more gassy than the white ones. Thus, after three days of having brown rice, we mixed them with white rice. Later we added barley, and a few days later, Khaira ate a combination of white rice + brown rice + barley + oat.
 |
| Barley help reduce cholesterol levels |
This rice combination is actually a Korean's culture, where they would put a lot of other combinations in the rice such as sticky rice, beans, nuts, even sometimes sunflower seed. I found it a brilliant idea when I had them at my MIL's place, less carbs = more nutritions = happy :)
Since I'm working, what I do is that during the weekends, I would wash the white rice, brown rice and barley, let them dry. Mix them together with oat and blend for a week's stock and store them in a refrigerator. This way, I would be able to cook the porridge in less than 20 minutes.
Until Khaira was 8 months old, she was a vegetarian. I wanted her digestive system to work slowly. I gave her all the fruits that she could tolerate; from my observations: Dates, honeydew, banana, papaya and grapes. But she doesn't fancy grapes that much. As of vegetables, she could tolerate carrot, zucchini, salad, cauliflower, and spinach. She doesn't fancy spinach that much.
 |
| Banana can diminish the uncomfortable effects of diarrhea and constipation |
After 8 months, I started to introduce fish and tofu. Her favourites are Siakap and Salmon. I introduced Siakap, Salmon, Merah, Tenggiri, Dory, and Senangin. She ate three times a day, a combination of white rice + brown rice + barley + oat, fish and vege. So far, her digestive system tolerates to all the fishes that we gave her, but bear in mind that some fish gives itchiness to baby. So, I did not give to Khaira the ones that I couldn't eat during confinement.
 |
| Salmon has Omega-3 fatty acids that help your brain to work better and improve your memory |
At 10 months, I introduced chicken and mushroom but she couldn't take it. She developed a skin rash, I decided to postpone them. I thought it's about time Khaira needed some snack, thus I introduced her to bread, first the white ones, then wholemeal, she loved them a lot.
As she reached a year old now, she could tolerate chicken. I added some variety to her food, yesterday I made some noodle soup for her. With onions and anchovy as a little flavour. I grilled her fish, previously just rebus, added some sesame or vegetable oil. After this, I intend to introduce spaghetti to her. Also, bought some Heinz teething biscuit for her snack, would try today.
I never added salt or sugar in her food. Ketchup or chicken stock lagilah tak. Tried to give her the healthiest that I could.
Every parents has different things that they are particular about. I'm very particular about what goes in into my baby's mouth. And yes, I received some distructive comments about what I gave to my baby. And yes, I wonder why did they feel troubled about what I gave to my baby. I was the one who needed to carry a pan everywhere to heat up my baby food during Raya, I was the one to wake up at 5.15am every working day to cook for her.
But, really it's ok. Soon, Khaira will reach 2 years old, then she shall have more freedom to eat as what everybody else eats. Not that I wanted to take all her freedom, just thought that if she was going to spend the rest of her life, eating like us, why not just delay it a little. :)
P/S: Food that gives her colic the most: Potato, watermelon, sticky rice.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Happy Birthday, Khaira Asyikin!!
Dearest Khaira,
You're a year old today! :) How time flies..
As Ibu left to office, you were still in deep sleep. I know it might not be the best feeling in the world, waking up without Ibu and Abi by your side, but the truth is.. I couldn't bear. I couldn't bear hearing you cry and holding me not wanting to let go every time I'm about to go to work.
That's a sacrifice all of us have to make. Abi has to go to work to support us. Ibu has to work to pursue the ultimate dreams. And at times, Ibu needs to go back a little late because of my PhD. I am now in my writing process, very close to the end insya Allah. Meaning, more hard work. And Khaira has to sacrifice by spending more time with Nanny just a little while.
See, I don't believe working really hard is necessary. I believe family always comes first and that we must have a balance. I promise you, this is temporary.
Last Saturday, we made a small birthday party for you. I hope you're happy meeting all your relatives and friends. There are many types of people in this world, Khaira. And as your name suggests, be kind to each and every one of them; especially the relatives and friends. Then, they will be nice to you in return.
Each and everyone in this world has their own kindness, dig until you find them. But if somehow, the goodness inside them still couldn't make you tolerate to the evil inside them, walk away gracefully, with pride. You must always define your lines in life, Khaira. What you can tolerate and what you can't. Once you have defined them, stick to them and pray may Allah SWT guides you.
Whatever it is, Ibu and Abi will always be with you every step of your journey.
Happy birthday, Khaira Asyikin, you're a prayer come true, I can't express in words how much I love you.
There is this song in 90's called Yellow by Coldplay, and if you look at the lyrics, there is this one line,
"For you, I'd bleed myself dry.."
Birthday wishes from Aunty Melissa..
"Happy birthday my sweet Khaira! Be a good daughter ya! Moga jadi anak yang solehah. Aunty Mel cant wait to see you again!"
And from Ibu's friends..
You're a year old today! :) How time flies..
As Ibu left to office, you were still in deep sleep. I know it might not be the best feeling in the world, waking up without Ibu and Abi by your side, but the truth is.. I couldn't bear. I couldn't bear hearing you cry and holding me not wanting to let go every time I'm about to go to work.
That's a sacrifice all of us have to make. Abi has to go to work to support us. Ibu has to work to pursue the ultimate dreams. And at times, Ibu needs to go back a little late because of my PhD. I am now in my writing process, very close to the end insya Allah. Meaning, more hard work. And Khaira has to sacrifice by spending more time with Nanny just a little while.
See, I don't believe working really hard is necessary. I believe family always comes first and that we must have a balance. I promise you, this is temporary.
Last Saturday, we made a small birthday party for you. I hope you're happy meeting all your relatives and friends. There are many types of people in this world, Khaira. And as your name suggests, be kind to each and every one of them; especially the relatives and friends. Then, they will be nice to you in return.
Each and everyone in this world has their own kindness, dig until you find them. But if somehow, the goodness inside them still couldn't make you tolerate to the evil inside them, walk away gracefully, with pride. You must always define your lines in life, Khaira. What you can tolerate and what you can't. Once you have defined them, stick to them and pray may Allah SWT guides you.
Whatever it is, Ibu and Abi will always be with you every step of your journey.
Happy birthday, Khaira Asyikin, you're a prayer come true, I can't express in words how much I love you.
There is this song in 90's called Yellow by Coldplay, and if you look at the lyrics, there is this one line,
"For you, I'd bleed myself dry.."
 |
| Without Ayah Ngah and Busu |
 |
| With Khaira's milk mother and Aunty Sumay |
 |
| This is an example of a good friend, Khaira :) |
 |
| With Ibu and Abi! |
"Happy birthday my sweet Khaira! Be a good daughter ya! Moga jadi anak yang solehah. Aunty Mel cant wait to see you again!"
And from Ibu's friends..
Monday, October 8, 2012
Just to cheer up the day
Desperately need something to boost up my mood..
Hahahaha!!
Ok, now. Happy mood on, thinking cap is on. To thesis, bismillah.
Ok, now. Happy mood on, thinking cap is on. To thesis, bismillah.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
We don't say goodbye!
"So how many kids do you have now?" He asked.
"One, the other on the way." She answered.
"Gosh, what are you gonna do? Clean the house all day?"
"I'm gonna have a day maid come over."
"What are you going to do? You're gonna get bored!"
The above conversation took part when a dear friend decided to retire at the age of 28, with a Master degree. And by retiring means, at the moment she is a full time stay at home mum (SAHM), with no part time business whatsoever - just the way I dream my retirement days would be. Just some passive income because I'm not into business.
And the questions were asked by a husband (I guess I should rephrase that to husbands, because many asked) of a SAHM wife. For me, it's an insult!
They seriously think raising a child would be a simple, boring job and expect the house to be clean by the time they got home and the wife to cook and then still we got bored?
Funny! A SAHM friend barely had time to eat, busy taking care of her three kids and making sure the house was organized.
But SAHM is still my ultimate dream regardless of however challenging it might be like. I once asked this dear friend, just remember your ultimate reason of why you want to retire, so that in difficult days you'll always think back of that reason. Love called it, the "in case briefcase".
She wrote her "in case briefcase" in a book that she gave me on her last day, "Remember in life, our goal is "lillah" (for Allah)! Insya Allah, that will keep us steadfast, happy and contented always, Ameen." I took the advice to heart.
For that is a very strong reason why my ultimate dream is to be a SAHM.
At this moment, I still feel at lost. That dear friend, Dr. Sumay is the closest to me in Uni. She is part of who I am today. I love her beyond words.
But I am so secure by her retirement, that I know, she is a friend I will keep for life, insya Allah :)
We're just a WhatsApp away, I love you to bits!
"One, the other on the way." She answered.
"Gosh, what are you gonna do? Clean the house all day?"
"I'm gonna have a day maid come over."
"What are you going to do? You're gonna get bored!"
The above conversation took part when a dear friend decided to retire at the age of 28, with a Master degree. And by retiring means, at the moment she is a full time stay at home mum (SAHM), with no part time business whatsoever - just the way I dream my retirement days would be. Just some passive income because I'm not into business.
And the questions were asked by a husband (I guess I should rephrase that to husbands, because many asked) of a SAHM wife. For me, it's an insult!
They seriously think raising a child would be a simple, boring job and expect the house to be clean by the time they got home and the wife to cook and then still we got bored?
Funny! A SAHM friend barely had time to eat, busy taking care of her three kids and making sure the house was organized.
But SAHM is still my ultimate dream regardless of however challenging it might be like. I once asked this dear friend, just remember your ultimate reason of why you want to retire, so that in difficult days you'll always think back of that reason. Love called it, the "in case briefcase".
She wrote her "in case briefcase" in a book that she gave me on her last day, "Remember in life, our goal is "lillah" (for Allah)! Insya Allah, that will keep us steadfast, happy and contented always, Ameen." I took the advice to heart.
For that is a very strong reason why my ultimate dream is to be a SAHM.
At this moment, I still feel at lost. That dear friend, Dr. Sumay is the closest to me in Uni. She is part of who I am today. I love her beyond words.
But I am so secure by her retirement, that I know, she is a friend I will keep for life, insya Allah :)
We're just a WhatsApp away, I love you to bits!
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