NLP to change and reshape beliefs

*A review from Dr. Alvin Teoh's book

NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. What is it, I will explain in my next post.

Today, I would like to share some interesting tips on how to change someone's belief. It is called the AEIOU belief busting.

A - Ask a question that will impact that someone.
E - Expose the situation for what it really is.
I - Indirect suggestion so the inconspicuous suggestion will easily find its way into the subconscious mind.
O - Be open
U - Understand why that someone behaves so.

And how to reshape someone's belief, 3 R is the key.

Rituals - I remember when Love came home from his first meeting with Herbalife and he suddenly seemed to be brainwashed, like extremely motivated. It starts with that simple sing-along session where you'd first wonder why do you have to do this, then suddenly your mind starts believing in what you are singing. So, something like that.

Resolution -This is where you plant ideas which makes a person uneasy if he/she doesn't follow through. Take the Herbalife example, it's a way of saying, "You want to be healthy right? You don't have time to eat healthily, so you like having this as a substitute right, Sir?" Something like that. I don't know what they did during Herbalife meeting, never went there, never intend to.

Repetition - "What is repeated often enough will be believed as if it's true."

The art of hypnotizing

I fell in love with hypnosis the first time I heard about it. And even more when I learned about it during my hypnobirthing class. Ever since, I learned a lot through reading.

Currently I'm reading a book on hypnosis which I don't really feel like sharing the title in my blog because it might be a little taboo to some people. But, the content is interesting and very suitable to establish better connections with our spouse and our children.

According to Dr. Alvin Teoh, hypnosis is defined using 3 I's:
1. Influencing
2. Inconspicuous
3. Incremental/immediate change.

There is of course a big difference between influencing and persuading. When you persuade, it is just for a specific situation. But when you influence, it's like you're putting someone under your spell. Sounds scary, but actually very useful if you use it for the right purpose.

Inconspicuously means putting things into someone's subconscious mind. Most of the time, we know that our subconscious mind takes over our decision making. For example, you plan to go for a holiday. That is your conscious mind talking. But your subconscious mind suddenly decides to go to Paris because you have been influenced by the media that it is such a romantic place to visit.

Hypnosis is very similar to the movie 'Inception' where you plant the idea in someone's mind. So, sometimes you see the results immediately, sometimes the change is incremental.

I will review on this throughout my post later on.

As of today, it is worth mentioning that the most important key in hypnotizing that you must remember is that, "the best hypnotist is someone who can hypnotize himself/herself".

So in order to make your husband to find you beautiful, you must feel beautiful first. In order to make your student thinks that you're confident enough when teaching, you have to feel confident first. In order to make your daughter feels that you love her unconditionally, of course lah you love your daughter unconditionally kan... Hehe.

It is important to make yourself feel so, because what you believe will actually influence the way you stand, the way you sit, move, walk, talk, etc..

So, how to make you feel beautiful, confident, etc.. that's when the hypnotizing took place. Hypnotize yourself first. It's a very simple exercise, actually. In your mind, list down positive things about yourself or a very positive scenario.

Example, to make me feel confident in a presentation, I would always remember the day I impressed my examiner during my Master Viva. Add colors and details to what you're thinking.

Where am I in this situation, what do I see, what is the surrounding like, is it bright, how do I look, what do I wear, who is there.
Is it quiet, what are the sounds I hear, what did the examiner said, what did I say to myself.
Even to the tiny detail like how do I feel, is it cold, how close is the examiner to me, etc.

And alhamdulillah, so far it works for me :)

Don't be scared of hypnotizing. It is actually a more subtle way to influence your loved ones, especially in my case, my students to be a better person altogether. Rebellious teenagers found it easy to just push away your advices, this might be a helpful method.

After all, if you're not doing it, someone else might have already done it to them. Some people are born with these things. And I think I'm married to one. ;p

The birth of one, the lost of the other

My SIL gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on 26th December 2012!

Say hello to Imaan Iris :)

I finally have a niece, and Khaira now has a cousin!

The day Imaan Iris was born was also the day a cousin of mine lost her 6 months old baby girl in the womb.. Or so the doctor said.

The baby stopped moving altogether for a couple of days and when my cousin went to see her gynae, the doctor said there was no heartbeat anymore, the baby's head started to shrink and etc.

After seeing her gynae, the baby started to kick and move again as if telling the mother, as according to my cousin, "she's still alive but in pain." This persisted for two days. And on the second day, my cousin told her daughter, "If it's best for you to go, both mama and papa redha."

And that was when the baby stopped moving altogether.. Permanently..

Sad..

And even more sad when the stillbirth baby as of today, is still in her womb. Her gynae advised the baby to be born naturally, where she'll feel some surges and then eventually she'll give birth normally as it should be.

I pray the best for my cousin and her family. And I pray that people around her would be more understanding and more helpful in helping her get through this.

When I was at risk of losing Baby K at 14 weeks old in the womb, I couldn't even imagine how life would be, to go on without her. Be strong, cousin. We'll get through this..

Assalamualaikum 2013 :)

Yay, it's 2013!!

Alhamdulillah, I survived 2012 gracefully..

My wishlist for 2012..

Bali
Graduate from my PhD
Breastfeeding Khaira for at least 6 months
Sponsor my family to Langkawi
Register for Hajj
Do something for our home
Give a car to my parents
Collect results for PhD
Breastfeeding Khaira for at least a year

Manage to cross all, but 'graduate from my PhD' is still on the way! Doakan..

2013's wishlist..

Goldcoast
Do something for our home
Breastfeeding Khaira for at least 1 and a half year
Senior Lecturer
Save at least RM20k
Cameron Highland
Aerobic class/dance class/gym
Graduate from my PhD

Insya Allah, this year must cross everything :)

Stimulating baby's right brain - DarwishDarwisya's Method

The easiest way to stimulate your baby's right brain..

TV!!

One of the most powerful technology in hypnotizing your mind.

The ones that define everything. That has the most powerful influence to your children, unfortunately.

I'm sure subliminal messages in Disney were not something new to us.

Tangled

The Little Mermaid

The Lion King

Some critics said "it was your mind that has been programmed and hypnotised at one time or another in your life to think that they were dirty or going to be dirty drawings".

Yeah, sure.

Go ahead, take a look at this youtube video, "Naughty Cartoon Drawings".

Then, pause and wonder. Is it safe, those cartoons you let your children watch.

Such a scary world.

So, while you can control what they can or cannot watch, let's just introduce them to something very safe, no hanky panky. My choice at the moment..

Very boring you might say. But if you introduce this early to your children, way before Spongebob and Upin Ipin, this will be the ONLY entertaining thing they know. (Btw, Spongebob also has subliminal message, please google :( )

I might be a bit late. By the time I introduced this to Spiderbaby, she was already obsessed with a ridiculous show called, "High-5". Everytime I watched that with her, I went like, "Seriously??"

But, after a while, she found Al-Furqan VCD interesting and almost every day, when I got home, she would bring me the CD and asked me to play it for her.

Whether it helps or not, in terms of her learning capability, I am not able to assess just as yet. But for me personally, why not educate while entertain.

My choice after Al-Furqan..

Khaira at 14 mo!

Sekarang ni setiap hari excited nak pulang!! :)

Spiderbaby learns new things everyday.

Nearing 13mo, at work, all of a sudden mom messaged me, "Kak, Khaira dah boleh jalan."

And when I arrived home, she walked like a tiny dinosaur, tangan kat depan, 5 steps then she fell down. And clap her hands. That was the beginning. About a month after, dah berlari. Very handful nowadays.

Then, a couple of days after that, she started to recognize things in her baby books. Things like "banana", "apple", "baby", etc. Managed to record a video there.

Then, I started teaching her to show her tummy, eyes, nose. Masya Allah, kids are very fast learners.

Now macam-macam benda comel Khaira buat, would like to write it here for my keepsake. Among the most adorable ones..

1. "No, no, no, no, no" dengan gesture tangan yg sangat comel!
2. "Jap! Jap" Again dengan gesture tangan and kepala hangguk2.
3. "Khaira, nanny masak apa?" Tarik nafas. "Kaghi." Pause. "Ayom" (referring to Kari Ayam). Some other days. "Ambal" (referring to sambal)

And yes, she can say 2 words already. "Nak air", "Bye, Ayah Ngah" at 14 mo.:)

Excited nak balik rumah every day!!

Anyhow, this youtube pages are dedicated for my little angel. Only God knows how much I love her.

Life oh life

Life has been very ironic for Love and I these couple of days.

To cut the story short, we recently found out that Love's car that he bought from a dealer, Mazmi Syah bin Mohamed Munzani (IC num: 791105-01-5377) was somewhat stolen. He faked the signature for the transaction. Hence, the transaction of the car was not valid :( Eventhough the name of the grant has already been changed to ours, JPJ has the power to change it back. We filed a police report towards the dealer already, doakan yang terbaik. Orang yang teraniya insya Allah dimakbulkan.

I can only imagine what Love is going through currently. He has the power of letting go, insya Allah.. everything will turn up just fine for the both of us.

But, remember that when Allah closes one door for us, He opens another. On a brighter note, I was at the peak of my career yesterday (Still on cloud 9 today :))

Received a call from one of the big people in the biggest industry of my field. They came and visited my lab yesterday. They were REALLY interested in my project, Alhamdulillah. And I received one of the best offer I could imagine. Alhamdulillah. :) The highest peak of my career.

Who would have thought all these years, someone really appreciates and follows my work. It feels good to be appreciated after a while :) Such a good news for both of us.

But all these are too overwhelming for Love and I. We decided to go out for a supper with Spiderbaby to take a break from all the madness. But after feeding Spiderbaby last night, for what seems like months, she fell asleep after Maghrib, boleh? As if saying, "go Ibu and Abi, you needed this."

Went for a piece of cake at Secret Recipe near our place. And we just talked and laughed. And I began to understand what Love meant when he said,

"Regardless of whatever happens in our life, as long as we have each other, things will be just fine.."