100 ways to be kind to your child

Article is copied from http://creativewithkids.com/100-ways-to-be-kind-to-your-child/

Tell your child:

1. I love you.
2. I love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry at me.
4. I love you even when I am angry with you.
5. I love you when you are far way.  My love for you can reach you wherever you are.
6. If I could pick any 4 year old (5 year old, 6 year old…) in the whole wide world, I’d pick you.
7. I love you to the moon and then around the stars and back again.
8. Thank you.
9. I enjoyed playing with you today.
10. My favorite part of the day was when I was with you and we _______.

Share:
11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you cuddled them when they were a baby.
13. The story of their name.
14. A story about yourself when you were their age.
15. The story of how their grandparents met.
16. What your favorite color is.
17. That sometimes you struggle too.
18. That when you’re holding hands and you give three squeezes, it’s a secret code that means, “I love you”.
19. What the plan is.
20. What you’re doing right now.

Play:
21. Charades
22. Hop Scotch
23. Board Games
24. Hide & Seek
25. Simon Says
26. Twenty Questions
27. I Spy on long car rides
28. Catch

Pretend:
29. To catch their kiss and put it on your cheek.
30. That their tickle tank is empty and you have to fill it.
31. That their high five is so powerful it nearly knocks you over.
32. That you are super ticklish.
33. That you are explorers in the amazing world of your own backyard.
34. That it’s party day!

Try:
35. To get enough sleep.
36. To drink enough water.
37. To eat decent food.
38. Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
39. Calling a friend the next time you feel like you are about to lose it with the kids.
40. Giving a gentle touch to show approval.
41. Dancing in the kitchen.
42. To get your kids to bop to the music with you in the car.
43. Showing your kids that you can do a somersault or handstand or a cartwheel.
44. Keeping the sigh to yourself.
45. Using a kind voice, even if you have to fake it.

Read:
46. A book of silly poems.
47. A story and then act out the plot.
48. Your favorite childhood book to them.
49. When the afternoon is starting to go astray.
50. Outside under a tree.
51. In the library kids corner.
52. The comic book they love that you’re not so hot on.
53. About age appropriate behavior so you can keep your expectations realistic.

Listen:
54. To your child in the car.
55. To silly songs together.
56. For that question that means your child really needs your input.
57. One second longer than you think you have patience for.
58. For the feelings behind your child’s words.

Ask:
59. Why do you think that happens?
60. What do you think would happen if______?
61. How shall we find out?
62. What are you thinking about?
63. What was your favorite part of the day?
64. What do you think this tastes like?

Show:
65. Your child how to do something instead of banning them from it.
66. How to whistle with a blade of grass.
67. How to shuffle cards- make a bridge if you can!
68. How to cut food.
69. How to fold laundry.
70. How to look up information when you don’t know the answer.
71. Affection to your spouse.
72. That taking care of yourself is important.

Take Time:
73. To watch construction sites.
74. To look at the birds.
75. To let your child pour ingredients into the bowl.
76. To walk places together.
77. To dig in the dirt together.
78. To do a task at your child’s pace.
79. To just sit with your child while they play.

Trust:
80. That your child is capable.
81. That you are the right parent for your child.
82. That you are enough.
83. That you can do what is right for your family.

Delight:
84. Clean your child’s room as a surprise.
85. Put chocolate chips in the pancakes.
86. Put a love note in their lunch.
87. Make their snack into a smiley face shape.
88. Make sound effects while you help them do something.
89. Sit on the floor with them to play.

Let Go:
90. Of the guilt.
91. Of how you thought it was going to be.
92. Of your need to be right.

Give:
93. A kind look.
94. A smile when your child walks into the room.
95. A kind touch back when your child touches you.
96. The chance to connect before you correct so that your child can actually hear your words.
97. Your child a chance to work out their frustrations before helping them.
98. A bath when the day feels long.
99. A hug.
100. You get to choose the next one!  What is your favorite way to be kind to your child?

Name for my other Asyikin

In 2011, I shared the story on how I got Khaira's name. Read the story here.

This time around, we decided to give Aisha's name way before I was conceived.

It was on one of the saddest Friday in my life. I remember it clearly, just before Friday prayer, I received a call that made me rushed back from work straight to Ampang. Right after I submitted my thesis. Driving. Alone. Eyes blurry with tears.

And the next thing I know was that I was looking at arwah nenek for the last time. All the conversations we had, linger in my mind. Holding Love's hand. God knows how he felt at that time. My heart shattered by the sight of him.

We sat there, and I said, "If I was to get pregnant again, and if it's a girl, let's name her after nenek's name."

He agreed.

Then, a few months after.. I was pregnant. It was a girl.

Hence, the name Aisha Asyikin.

Dear Aisha, may you grow up as 'lively' as your name, following the personality of the Prophet's wife and a srikandi like your late moyang.

Ameen.

This merdeka day, we had the chance to watch nenek again. How she talked, how she moved,  we were there during the interview. Pengubat rindu.

Nenek and Khaira, trying to capture whatever left of the memory 

Al fatihah. You'll always be missed, Nek.

The watches story

I was so naive during my first baby that I thought I could do a lot of things during my 2 months maternity leave. By the end of the leave I wondered where did the time fly.

So this time around, I was extra cautious with my timing. I always check the watch to see if it's time for me to pump or spend time with Kakak Khaira and etc. Thus imagine the horror when I found my Swatch broken at the coffee table.

And so the little culprit came to me and said (before I could even asked), "Jam Ibu putus sendiri". Yeah, right. Of course.

In confinement and desperately need a new watch. For me, watches do not serve only as time instrument, but also as an accessory to substitute a bracelet. I always opt for leather strap and silver plated, but this time around.. I thought of trying gold plated stainless steel watch. Not only it's just as beautiful but it seems like it's also the in thing now.

There are 3 kinds of fashion look where gold watches fit perfectly in place.

The first style is to match it with a semi casual outfit, for instance, a top layered with a blazer, jeans and stiletto high heels. We can mix and match the colour of your outfits everywhere whether to work, college or even on a day out with your girlfriends. The gold watches will match nicely with your outfit and reveals a sophisticated side of you.

The next look will definitely bring out the elegance character in you by wearing the gold watch with some slack trousers and pastel coloured blouse. You could also experiment your own style by changing the colours or patterns of the blouse as the gold element makes it versatile to be match with the majority of outfits you have. This look will be suitable for women to flaunt at the office while portraying a professional appearance.

The third kind of fashion look to style your gold watch is by adding some accessories on your wrist. You could play it safe by matching a silver or gold bracelet along with the gold watch or you could be creative by stacking your wrist with multi coloured bangles. This look is perfect for the ladies who want to have a casual yet stylish appearance during the weekends or even out on a date. Whether you wear it with a basic tee or even an oversized sweater, you will look stunning everywhere you go.

Now.. now.. since I'm in confinement, I thank God for online shopping (need to reconsider cutting my credit card).  Time to get a new watch and the most reliable online shop for me has got to be ZALORA.

Interested to get a gold watch to create your new style? Check out ZALORA as it offers a wide selection of watches from various local and international brands online.

The whats and whys

Khaira talks a lot. Seriously a lottttt.. No surprise there since both Love and I are a bit on the chatty side. I always enjoy talking to her especially when she talks about her imaginary friends. We love that creative side of her.

But.. oh myyy lately she asks too many whats and whys. If that is not memeningkan enough, she would do it over and over again.

"Ibu, why is Aisha crying?"

A minute after that, "Why is she crying?"

2 minutes afterwards, when Aisha actually stopped crying, "Why did Aisha cry just now?"

The next day, "why did she cry yesterday while changing her diapers?"

*bang head against wall*

I came across an article about toddler asking the questions repeatedly and felt so much better afterwards.

The reasons why they asked questions repeatedly:

1. They are of course curious and your answers are not clear enough for them to understand

2. To seek for attention

Both needs me to improvise my parenting skill (T_T). That actuallly helps me become a lot more patience with her. So I just thought of sharing.

But if you need to put an end to her endless repetitive questions, here's what the article suggested you to do:

"Why do you think she cries?"

Ask for her opinion instead.

But what Love did normally was explaining to Khaira in a really really technical term I doubt she understood. Then she would stopped asking altogether.

Works everytime.

He must bore her to max. Hehe.

How to talk to your toddler

So currently I'm reading this..

Why? Because seriously.. having a toddler somehow seems more challenging than a newborn. The tantrum Khaira has nowadays since Aisha was born, ya Allah..

Look at the pic below.. Whenever mom dukung Aisha..

Anyhow, I just finished reading the first chapter of the book. I found it very interesting,  how it trained you to talk to your toddler.

Some points to share:

1. To encourage your toddler to eat --> "You take a bite of your vege, and then I'll take a bite of mine"

2. Separation anxiety --> Reassure that you will return and get her interested in an activity. Eg. "I know you don't want me to leave, but I'll be back soon" or "Why don't you feed your teddy while I make lunch?" Don't do this.. "it makes me mad when you do that" or "Poor baby.."

3. Weaning from bottle --> " You're a big girl now. Just like me, big girl drinks from bottle"

4. Other people have feelings too --> " When you hit Abi, it hurts him"

5. Put off a toddler's request --> " I can't play now. I'm reading my book. Reading my book is fun for me. Just like playing masak2 is fun for you. Now I'm going to have some fun with my book while you have some fun with your bricks". Explain the reasons to them.

I shall share more in shaa Allah.

The (hypno) birth of Aisha Asyikin

The pregnancy of our second daughter was exactly as planned, Alhamdulillah. I conceived a month after I stopped breastfeeding my 2 y.o daughter Khaira; of whom I gave birth via hypnobirthing as well. Read about my first delivery here and birth video is linked here.

It all started on Saturday, 2 days before Raya. I kept on hoping I would deliver Baby Aisha after that Friday night because Love and I planned to have the evening all to ourselves before the baby was born. So we had a wonderful dinner, movie and durian buffet. Then the next day when I woke up, I noticed some blood, but no surges at all.

My 189cm hubby and 148cm me

Afterwards the blood disappeared just like that. I was a bit disappointed because with Khaira, I gave birth to her the same day I had a blood show. Raya went by happily and on the second day raya night, the blood show started again. More bloody, this time with surges but again it went by just like that. Disappointed again.

Starting from the second day Raya onwards, I already had my daily morning or evening walk of about 3km a day. Then, I climbed up and down the stairs to my office at level 4. On 5th day of Raya, I still had my evening walk as usual, no surges at all, no show. Had my whole relatives coming over for dinner. It was super fun.

Walk at Taman TAR

Walk at Taman Wetland Putrajaya

The next day, 8 days before Aisha's EDD, I woke Love up early for our morning walk. But on the way back around 10.30 am, I felt even more sensational surges. But I was super hungry (the same feeling before I birthed Khaira), so we decided to pick Khaira up and went to mamak for nasi campur.

I timed my surges while we had our brunch. It was straight away a minute surge with only 3 to 5 minutes gap. By the time I finished my brunch, which was an hour later, the surge became more sensational.

So, we went to mom's place straight away. Took a bath, then I told Love to go straight to the hospital because the gap became even shorter to a point I didn't bother to time.

About 5 mins before arriving at the hospital, I already felt the sensation of pushing. I stopped doing my surge breathing and J breathing so that I stopped dilating for a while. Calm breathing, I reminded myself. I'm almost there. It was around 1.40 pm at that time.

The walk from the parking space to the hospital was like one of the longest walk I felt in my life. While Love settled in the registration, I tried sitting at the bench, but ended up squatting because I just felt like pushing so badly.

The nurses quickly offered me a wheelchair. Since the labour room was full, I was offered a ward where the midwife did a VE and said I was fully dilated. Rushed me to the labour room where they requested for another patient at 6 cms dilated to make room for me.

Entered the labour room at 2pm. No enema, no ctg, not even enough time for me to change to hospital garments, I got to the bed and just pushed, ignoring everybody except Love. The first push made me shouted at the doctor and said; "Doktor buat apa tu? Sakit!" As I felt some burning sensation down there;  I did not have that with Khaira. That was when Love asked me to look only to realize my baby's head was out!! Omg so biggg!! She weighed 3.1kgs.

My Asyikins

At second push; 2 minutes later, the whole body was out. Alhamdulillah so smooth. Felt so better afterwards. I survived with minor natural tear. And the following statement came from my gynae right after I delivered the baby, "You should consider homebirth for your third baby. Easy delivery you're lucky not to have DBA." Apparently DBA is the term they use for 'delivery before arrival'.

So there goes the birth of our 2nd daughter on 2nd of August, 2 minutes in the labour room, we enter at 2pm, she popped our at 2.02pm with 2 pushes. ;)

I must have been so blessed. Alhamdulillah. I would forever feel indebted to Sifu Wai Han whom I met 3 years ago; but changed my life forever. Thank you to family and friends for the endless doa. And thank you to my sweetheart of whom without, I could not even imagine going through this.

My birth story has also been published in Hypnobirthing Malaysia's website. Read it here.

Berbuka with kesayangans Ramadhan 2014

We have missed the first two weekends of Ramadhan since Love was warded due to dengue.

That Friday after Love recovered, we went to TGI Friday's Paradigm Mall with my dearest Uniten clans. Incomplete since Mel, Farah and Mimi had to cancel last minute. But still so much fun nonetheless.

Look at my cranky baby

The venue selection was just so so. Traffic was super clear to Paradigm. We left at 615pm and we arrived just before buka. I booked a table earlier but they forgot our reservation. Not making me happy since they gave table at the outside and Khaira apa lagi.. running around lah since dekat dengan air pancut outside. Sigh.. But the surau in Paradigm was very convenient :)

My forever fav food in TGIF is always the Nachos!

Then, on Saturday we went to The Club for buka puasa with Love's relatives. Khaira by that time socialized well with kids near her age. Made our day ♥

Sunday, had our buka at my grandmom's crib. Sighh.. the only grandmom we have this year. I can't imagine how Raya would be..

Monday, went to Tony Roma's Citta Mall with Love's uni clans. Ok. Best gile. Service was superb. Food was delish. They threw us so many desserts and appetisers in the house. Would definitely go there again!! And boy, the surau was also convenient enough for me to bring Khaira in.

Ohh.. and Monday to Wednesday.. kids eat free! Khaira had so much fun because this particular branch is very kids friendly. And Tony Roma's always have the best caesar salad with grilled chicken. :)

Tuesday was Nuzul Quran. Had our usual buffet tradition at Kelab Darul Ehsan with the in laws. This year, they had violinist. Khaira was mesmerized so we had our buka peacefully. And later she danced non stop to the music. I have no complain at all on the food. But the surau, memang can be improved a lot lah. Hopefully next year.

Spot Khaira

The fourth weekend on Saturday, we had Papa John's all you can eat at IPC for buka with the Ampang clan. We bought the Groupon deal, RM 82 for 3 pax. The service in IPC was super duper slow.. totally wouldn't recommend this place for buka.

Then on Sunday, went to Cozy House for buka with my SABians dearest. Reservation please if you intend to buka here. And must place your order before 4pm on that day. No website for the menu, so must memorize the menu like that lah. So funny. Dah la ala carte served only after 8pm. But the food was super good so it was worth it.

The Friday just before Raya, I planned a date just the two of us with Love. Burger King + Hercules + all you can eat durian at SS2. It was a damn good one.

That Saturday, had dinner at Horizon Garden, Bangi with my family. It was a simple one, went back right after buka so we can have our Maghrib at home.

And the next day, Raya eve.. the tradition. We had all the ketupat and rendang for raya.

Alhamdulillah, ya Allah for giving me the opportunity to have this Ramadhan and Raya.. I must have been so blessed :)