What a kid's painting tells us..

Khaira was so into drawing and painting these days. A trait, which unfortunately skipped a generation. Dad was really good at this artsy stuff.

So, my Dad was ecstatic with Khaira's fond in painting and drawing that he bought so many water colours, painting board, brushes, etc for her.

Each day, Khaira got better in drawing. One drawing that I fall in love with is me at work, teaching. I framed it.

A drawing of my 4yo

Most of the times, its just funny drawing as this..

I did not give it a second look when she first showed me.

But, the next morning, it hit me..

This picture is about her loss.

That week, a day after another, she lost something precious to her.

On Friday, her class teacher moved to a different kindy. Her name was Teacher Ezzah (She spelled it Iza), hence the girl with the letter 'iza' on top.

On Saturday, she woke up to feed her fish to discover her Flowerhorn was dead in the aquarium. Hence, the dead fish in the aquarium.

I did not talk about the drawing with her, neither did she. The following days, her mood was cranky. But we pampered her as we realized from her drawing that the two losses impacted her more than we thought.

The picture of the dead fish in an aquarium appeared in many of her drawings after that, it broke both our hearts to even capture the photo of them.

A few days after that, she was cranky as usual, got scolded just a bit by my parents, but she cried so bad, that I got up to her and hugged her, said to her, "It's no big deal, why are you crying so badly?" I consoled her, probing slowly.

"Khaira rindu Teacher Ezzah," and she broke into tears, finally. "Khaira nak jumpa Teacher Ezzah," she said.

Finally, something at first she couldn't express in words.

After she talked to me about it, her mood was as usual again.

But the incident hits me that children tell us stories in so many ways. In her drawings, in her lego bricks, in her paintings, in her moods. Simply because, they are not yet able to express it in words. And, we just need to look closely to listen to them, to connect to them.

Khaira, Aisha, I hope you know that I am always here should you need to tell me anything at all. I won't push you to tell, I might probe you a bit should you need that encouragement, but do know that I am always always here, ever ready to hear what you are going to throw at me.

Much love XXX.

Kuching!!!

Kuching trip officially marked as the 14th states in Malaysia I have visited, woot!! 5 days in Kuching for work/holiday had been exhausting but fun fun fun!

Day 1

Arrived at Kuching International airport around 12 noon, rented an Innova for all 8 of us (6 adults and 2 kids) and took 1.5 hour drive to Sarawak Cultural Village.

Entrance fee: 
Adult - RM60
Kids - RM30

Was starving the moment we arrived, so had our lunch at Restaurant Budaya Sarawak, with all the traditional food, highly recommended!! So delicious with free wifi some more.

Sarawak Cultural Village was so so fun for us. It is like Sarawak's version of Taman Mini Malaysia, only better. We went to the long house, Melanau's house, etc.

You could also by souvenirs here.

Their traditional bridge, so much fun for the girls.

A very peaceful lake in the middle.

And if you walk until the end of the village, you will discover an isolated small waterfall. Water was so refreshing and it was just us, we had sooo much fun!

Everyday at 11am and 4pm, they have a show in the theater. Please try not to miss this, because it is one of the best, if not the best show I have ever experienced. Look at my brave little girl went on stage to dance with the dancers!

We checked in at Merdeka Palace Apartment, a very decent 3 bedroom apartment that cost us RM350 per night via Agoda, sooo worth it!

Later that night, we went to Top Spot for our dinner, had luxurious and omg so affordable dinner, half the price in Semenanjung. Ayam goreng Nestum so yummy! Sorry no picture, because it is a seafood restaurant with alive lobsters and crabs and fishes and the kids would all the time want to look at all of that. Tiring!

And we wrapped our Day 1. I love Kuching already :)

Day 2

Woke up super early and and an hour journey to Mt. Santubong for a sunrise. View was beautiful along the way, we met an old man jogging with Sumpit, so so Borneo!

Back to Kuching for our breakfast at Kopi O Corner, which is well known for their Mee Kolok and Laksa Sarawak. Mee Kolok best sangatttt!! And had my teh sibeng, yums!

After breakfast, we went to Kubah Ria Sunday Market. Kubah Ria is a wet market with fresh fruits and veges, some you couldn't find in Semenanjung. But on Sunday, the locals gather to sell various things including their traditional crafts.

Headed back to the hotel, freshen up and went to the famous Kuching Waterfront. This 50 cents boat, I love!

Had lunch at the foodcourt opposite the forefront (need to cross the river), I had my yummilicious dried mee kolok.

Then, walked further up to buy our ikan terubok masin (soooo cheap btw) and kek lapis Sarawak.

I had a meeting that evening, so my loved ones proceed to Damai Beach where the girls played sands for three hours!! Balik, terus tanned (T_T).

At night, we strolled along the forefront, had our dinner at Ara Ikan Terubok by the side of the river. Weather was nice, view was beautiful, food was.. omg superb!! My Nasi Goreng with seekor ikan terubok = RM5. Crayyyy zyyyy!!!

Before we headed back to the hotel, we took our compulsory Kuching shot here :)

Day 3

I woke up early as my conference started that day. I was the Secretariat Chair and was busy running the show.

My loved ones had fun at the padang opposite our hotel and had the best rojak in Kuching, before all the boys headed back to Seri Kembangan including Love, his leave was shorten and hence we need to rearrange back all our flight schedules.

MIL arrived from KL that evening, leaving just us girls; Mom, MIL, the girls and me.

That night, we had a dinner at Hilton. It was a fun one :) Food was good and show was superb!

Day 4

Work some more while both moms and both girls went to Sarawak museum, 5 minutes walk from our hotel. Entry was FOC, and they had the best meehun soup opposite the museum.

I picked them up for lunch and again, went to Kopi O Corner. Then, headed to Kubah Ria, mak-mak loved the market.

After lunch, I headed back to Hilton for my conference. Arrived back in my hotel in the evening to bring Khaira swimming. Aisha was sleeping peacefully back in the hotel.

In the evening, we strolled along Waterfront and had a nice dinner.

Day 5

The end of my conference. Alhamdulillah, all went well. Packed our stuff so that the courier could pick them up later.

Then, headed to our hotel to check out, dropped by Fort Margherita and headed home.

Kuching, both the holiday and the conference were fun. Tak puas. Would like to go to Kuching again, next time.. to Bako National Park when the girls are big enough, in shaa Allah.

Next trip?

I just booked a flight to Brunei!!! What can I say, I love Borneo too much!

Leaving Aisha..

Work has been demanding lately. Apart from teaching and research, I am also heavily involved with consultancy.

Recently, I had to go to Bersia, leaving the girls for a night.

Aisha was just 18 months at that time, still breastfeeding and it broke my heart so badly leaving both of them crying inconsolably.

But, I just have to. I have been asking for too many exemptions before.

You know, that time when I naively thought a lecturer's job is just to teach, that time seems too funny now, yet I am not laughing.

Oh life..

Little Musolla Trip

Khaira's first day of school in 2016 was a month later than her friends due to our umrah trip.

All was smooth sailing this time around, Alhamdulillah. No more crying or sad face, in fact she was at peace. Not the happiest, but major improvement than last year.

I continued with Genius Aulad after her never ending drama in Little Caliph, couldn't be more thankful.

She was looking for her class teacher when she was 4 yo to give her flower, but the teacher already moved out. So, one for her class teacher, Teacher Ezzah.

Less than a month in school, she had her first trip already, to Masjid Putrajaya. I let her go, can you believe itttttt??? This clingy mommy, I'm so proud of myself *pat at the back*

Of course, I was so itching to follow her but I had meeting on that day. But right after the meeting, I just had to see her at the mosque. My baby was so so happy.

Recently, she had another trip to Zoo Negara. Itu, jangan merepek. Haha. Of course I said NO, I just make a big giant leap, take it easy.

"Why won't you let her go. If it was me, I definitely would," my dad protested.

"HELLO!!! I was the only.. I repeat.. the ONLY one among my friends whom never attended any school trips before up until I was in high school," I almost snapped back. But I just laughed and said,

"Are you sure, Ayah? Are you sure?"

True story, peeps. (T_T)

Guess what? He couldn't even reply me back. Cheh.

Sighhhh.. how come the kids grow up so fast nowadays. So true what they said, the days are slower, but the years are faster..

Just a few weeks ago, I registered her to Standard 1, can you believe it? Didn't I just give birth to her, peopleee???

Hello Kitty Go Around 2016..

..was one I regret going.

Little girls had been obsessing to go to Hello Kitty's house forever. So, I thought it was a good opportunity for us.

With the price of RM48++ for adult and RM38++ for 3yo toddler and above, and another RM50 for 5 vouchers, it was a waste of my time and money, baik pergi Sunway Lagoon.

Firstly, because it was small, and only places to take pictures. No rides whatsover. And the games were too hard, even for expert adults like my husband (he always won something), what more for the kids.

My review, it is not worth it especially if you bring your kids. At least have a Hello Kitty mascot walking around pon the kids dah happy.

But if you're a big fan obsessed with collectibles, perhaps you would enjoy it.

The religion is simple - A review

Some time ago, my boss gave me this book.

He is one of those old slick professor, trying to give dakwah subtly in his everyday life.

When he was invited as a speaker during one of the Photonics conference, he started his talk with surah An Nur talking about light, then relate back to Photonics.

When he gave his Professorial talk, in one slide where he talked about his achievements in life, he put a figure of Kaabah in the timeline, indicating that was the year he performed his hajj.Though he didn't mention it during the talk, but it indicates that hajj was his biggest achievement, perhaps more than the professorship itself.

Nonetheless, when I was not wearing my hijab last time, I used to always listen to his advises on hijab.

So, when he gave me this book, I thought it was so typical of him.

I read the first page and immediately hooked.

You know how in school you have learned about the six principles of faith or rukun iman, but you actually never understand it in details? Well, maybe it is just me because I didn't attend sekolah agama back then.

This book talks in detail about the rationale of each principle, especially a whole lot about qada' and qadar in a simple words; QnA type.

I rate this 5 over 5 and I believe it is a must have book in every Muslim house! 

My umrah story with a toddler and a baby - Part 7: Saying goodbye

Read my Part 1 story here, Part 2 story here, Part 3 story here, Part 4 story here, Part 5 story here and Part 6 here.

I first saw the Kaabah from the entrance of King Fahd's gate 79. The inside of Masjidil Haraam appears to be quite dark from the outside, and then in the middle.. the Kaabah appears to illuminate with all its black and gold beauty, looking all grand and proud.

I was speechless.. of its beauty.. of all my sins.. of whether or not Allah swt allows me to just for a while hold the Kaabah, to do the tawaf with all the sins I came in.. so unclean.

Never have I met something so beautiful in my life.

My favourite gate

Love at first sight, that's it. Not a single day goes by that I haven't think of the first time I looked at Kaabah. Not a single second goes by without me wishing to go back there again everytime I thought of Makkah. 

Masjidil Haraam is oneee big mosque, it is so understandable how people could get lost inside. So many things to see, to do, to venture, you just do not want to get out once you're inside. It even has a library!

I performed my tawaf at the mataf, the highest level. Weather was cold during our visit, so it was okay for us considering the highest level is open air. I figured it was just nice, since not many people at the highest level and for me, personally I found that I could focus more.

Tawaf slowly at the highest level would take approximately around 20 minutes. Personally, I would prefer to take turns taking care of the kids during tawaf. Though I saw some super mommies just put their kids on the wheelchair and the kids had fun as well while they could focus on their ibadah. As for me, the sight of Kaabah was so overwhelming, I would prefer my time alone with my Creator for a while.

Your preference, after all, nobody is judging you in the Allah's mosque.

Sai'e is more relax and free flow although it was a bit tiring. 40 minutes for me to wrap up my Sai'e. Maybe I did it leisurely. I guess, here the kids could get involved as much. Along the way, you could see zam zam water by the side and could stop for a drink.

Sai'e

At the ground floor, the level of Kaabah, you could see that people come and go to perform their tawaf, it is sooo packed. But afraid not, all of them tawaf with a flow. You just follow the flow, bit by bit closer to the Kaabah, in shaa Allah you would get closer. Love directed me straight to the Kaabah one Friday evening, and holding the Kaabah flashed back all the sins I've brought in this Tanah Haraam, I cried like there is no tomorrow. Like everyone around you didn't exist, somehow. Despite of the chaos, it was just me and my Creator. I didn't realize if people were pushing me or pulling me or anything, I was just too mesmerized.

Suddenly, I heard my husband said, "You're in the Hijir Ismail, Sayang. Would you like to solat here?"

I don't know where or how or when I got there, like I told you, the flow will direct you.. and you know when you're there, everybody is helping each other. One big Moroccan lady kept making way for me to hold the Kaabah and hence, to Hijir Ismail. Of course, my husband wrapped me around him all the time. So, I performed my two raqaat solah there.. Peacefully.. despite the chaos..

Nothing else matters at that time. NOTHING.

Just me and my Creator. Just us.

You could even pray near the dome, open air :)

If you think of it logically, it was on Friday right after Friday prayer, you could imagine how full Masjidil Haraam was, even more at the ground floor for tawaf, and me being soooo small to make my way there to Kaabah, but Masha Allah, Allahu Akbar, for sure everything is possible for Him. 

My point is, don't attract negative vibes much from the stories you have heard. Makkah and Madinah are such beautiful places with beautiful people; the Arabics and Turks that just loooveeee kids. I would everyday miss. I would everyday long to go there again.

Sighh...

Saturday, after Tawaf Wida', as early as 12 noon, we quickly got out of hotel and left Makkah with so much sadness. About an hour drive to Jeddah international airport, freshen up and waiting for our flight at 11pm. Imagine the long wait for the kids. Not a good start for a long hour flight. 

And we had one tiring flight with cranky toddler, but Alhamdulillah sleeping baby throughout.

I miss!

One of the worst flight I had in life, 90% because, I don't want to go back at all.. No "home sweet home" phrase as we arrived at KLIA, not from me, not from Love, the first among 8 countries we have visited together before.

Dear Allah SWT, please invite us again.

Until the end of my Umrah sharing, I sure hope it will be beneficial to you :) 3 months have passed since we performed our Umrah and I still cry a bucket the moment I write this.

Pic from shafiqolbu