28th September 2014

That night of 27th September was a fun night. We celebrated dad's birthday, 'tapau'ing Nando's and had a wonderful time. Thought of sleeping over at parents' crib, but later decided to go home.

At that time, Aisha still in the process of learning about day and night. So when my phone kept on beeping at 2am, I finally checked my phone while nursing.

See, my grandfather had been sick for almost a year plus already. Since then, we went to visit both my grandparents almost every week. I am so close to my grandmom since she was the one who took care of me back when mom was working.

While I was in confinement and was not able to visit him for weeks.. his sickness worsen. Although it sounds ridiculous, secretly I was hoping that I had that chance to meet him after confinement.. at least once.

Right after my confinement, a week before 28th September, we came and he was asleep.. the whole time. I put some cash in his hand and bought him some diapers and kissed him before I went back.

Back to my phone story, I rarely checked them esp at night.. but that night I did check the WhatsApp group. Uncle sent a video of my grandfather.. "macam nazak," was what going on in my mind. But I pushed that silly thought away.

I asked dad if I should come. I really think I should.

Dad said wait until morning since it was at 3am and we have a newborn there.

Being obedient as always, I tried to get some sleep. Just fell asleep when I dreamt of my grandfather passing and I woke up with the phone ringing.

Love answered.

And the next sentence that came out of his mouth was, "Innalillah.."

Only God knows how shattered my heart, my world, my days are filled with us calming and soothing each other ever since.

It has been a harsh harsh year for us.

Al fatihah to my Datuk. And may Allah swt grants the strength to Mak (my grandmom).

My heart breaks reading fb status of both my brothers..

My 29th birthday

The eve of my birthday, I was in my late uncle's house. It has been a year since he left us. The pain has lessen a bit for me.. Time does heal everything.

Love was not there with me. He was enjoying WWE live with fil. He came back just before midnight to wish Happy Birthday to me.

My birthday fell on Sunday. So we had lunch at in law's, tea at grandmom's and dinner at my parent's where people made fun of the fact that I'm turning 3 series next year.

Brother was so sweet to buy me cake.. with 3 candles; making fun of my age. Pfftttt.. Nonetheless, the fact that I spent my birthday with my loved ones means a lot to me.

Wrapped up the day watching "The fault in our stars" with Love. Stopped a couple of times with Aisha's cry which I seriously don't mind at all. I do mind that the story sucks. Don't bother watching it!

The next day, Love took a leave and we spent such precious time just the two of us.

Started with my birthday gift; Thomas Sabo!! So pretty still can't stop staring at it!

And lunch at Tony Roma's. Yup.. I'm that typical. Again with Caesar Salad my fav dish.

And ended it with lasertag!! Just the two of us in that whole arena. No.. not romantic.. it was spooky, don't do that. Still, it was super fun!

There goes.. I'm another year wiser.

I love you a lot, Sayang. Thank you.. I had so much fun.. So much..

The PAO method

The best thing about maternity leave is that you got to watch a lot of tvs. While nursing, while both of them were sleeping. Fun fun fun!

I kind of have these sick obsession with aliens and serial killers, so while scrolling over 551 onwards, disappointed not to find Anicent Aliens on air, I stopped at Discovery channel. A program called 'Redesign my brain'.

This story is about a tv personality that undergoes a brain training and I somehow interested with one simple memorization technique called PAO method for you to ease up your memorization technique. PAO stands for Person Action Object. Previously, I shared the memorization techniques I learned from Puan Lina's short course, read here. Perhaps this can be the addendum.

It is very simple actually.

Let's say I give you a card; Ace of Spades. How to remember it with PAO method is like this..

Firstly, look at the initial. A for Ace and S for Spades.

Think of a person with that initial.. For example Adam Sandler.

One of the movie he acted in is Happy Gilmore where he was a golfer there.

So the action is playing.

And the object is golf ball.

It sticks in your mind easier when you visualize. So with the PAO method, it helps your brain to visualize.

Simple sharing. But I hope it helps.

My role model

About 2 years ago, a friend invited me to a talk via email. Funny story though, she pasted the link wrongly. So I registered myself to a different talk instead.

I took it as a way Allah swt wanted to introduce  me to a wonderful lady, Puan Lina Karim and later on she became my role model.

See, I wasn't the most 'fun' person to be with. I hate roller coaster, twister or any kind of that 'fun'. I can't even look at my nieces and nephews playing around together. Macam nak kena heart attack. So lasak. I just can't.

And ohh myyy.. Who would have thought my daughter was born super handful. Mom would shout hysterically every now and then. Me? When it's her hyper time I would just call Love and said, "I can't handle this" and walk away. It was too scary to watch. And it was obviously too annoying for both Love and K.

Then, I came across Puan Lina's blogpost that seriously make me feel a lottt calmer and better. Read all about it here.

About the 3 types of mom you could be when your children get handful.

I am obviously Mom no. 2. I want to be Mom no. 3.

It takes a lot of effort. Pray for me. In shaa Allah. Ameen. The only way is forward.

To Puan Lina Karim.. thank you for all the inspiring talks and posts. And making me feel that someone so ordinary like me can produce extra ordinary generations. May Allah swt bless you and your family always.

Happy things from work

Let the pictures do the talking :)

Alhamdulillah. All praise is to the Almighty. Alhamdulillah.

100 ways to be kind to your child

Article is copied from http://creativewithkids.com/100-ways-to-be-kind-to-your-child/

Tell your child:

1. I love you.
2. I love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry at me.
4. I love you even when I am angry with you.
5. I love you when you are far way.  My love for you can reach you wherever you are.
6. If I could pick any 4 year old (5 year old, 6 year old…) in the whole wide world, I’d pick you.
7. I love you to the moon and then around the stars and back again.
8. Thank you.
9. I enjoyed playing with you today.
10. My favorite part of the day was when I was with you and we _______.

Share:
11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you cuddled them when they were a baby.
13. The story of their name.
14. A story about yourself when you were their age.
15. The story of how their grandparents met.
16. What your favorite color is.
17. That sometimes you struggle too.
18. That when you’re holding hands and you give three squeezes, it’s a secret code that means, “I love you”.
19. What the plan is.
20. What you’re doing right now.

Play:
21. Charades
22. Hop Scotch
23. Board Games
24. Hide & Seek
25. Simon Says
26. Twenty Questions
27. I Spy on long car rides
28. Catch

Pretend:
29. To catch their kiss and put it on your cheek.
30. That their tickle tank is empty and you have to fill it.
31. That their high five is so powerful it nearly knocks you over.
32. That you are super ticklish.
33. That you are explorers in the amazing world of your own backyard.
34. That it’s party day!

Try:
35. To get enough sleep.
36. To drink enough water.
37. To eat decent food.
38. Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and comfortable.
39. Calling a friend the next time you feel like you are about to lose it with the kids.
40. Giving a gentle touch to show approval.
41. Dancing in the kitchen.
42. To get your kids to bop to the music with you in the car.
43. Showing your kids that you can do a somersault or handstand or a cartwheel.
44. Keeping the sigh to yourself.
45. Using a kind voice, even if you have to fake it.

Read:
46. A book of silly poems.
47. A story and then act out the plot.
48. Your favorite childhood book to them.
49. When the afternoon is starting to go astray.
50. Outside under a tree.
51. In the library kids corner.
52. The comic book they love that you’re not so hot on.
53. About age appropriate behavior so you can keep your expectations realistic.

Listen:
54. To your child in the car.
55. To silly songs together.
56. For that question that means your child really needs your input.
57. One second longer than you think you have patience for.
58. For the feelings behind your child’s words.

Ask:
59. Why do you think that happens?
60. What do you think would happen if______?
61. How shall we find out?
62. What are you thinking about?
63. What was your favorite part of the day?
64. What do you think this tastes like?

Show:
65. Your child how to do something instead of banning them from it.
66. How to whistle with a blade of grass.
67. How to shuffle cards- make a bridge if you can!
68. How to cut food.
69. How to fold laundry.
70. How to look up information when you don’t know the answer.
71. Affection to your spouse.
72. That taking care of yourself is important.

Take Time:
73. To watch construction sites.
74. To look at the birds.
75. To let your child pour ingredients into the bowl.
76. To walk places together.
77. To dig in the dirt together.
78. To do a task at your child’s pace.
79. To just sit with your child while they play.

Trust:
80. That your child is capable.
81. That you are the right parent for your child.
82. That you are enough.
83. That you can do what is right for your family.

Delight:
84. Clean your child’s room as a surprise.
85. Put chocolate chips in the pancakes.
86. Put a love note in their lunch.
87. Make their snack into a smiley face shape.
88. Make sound effects while you help them do something.
89. Sit on the floor with them to play.

Let Go:
90. Of the guilt.
91. Of how you thought it was going to be.
92. Of your need to be right.

Give:
93. A kind look.
94. A smile when your child walks into the room.
95. A kind touch back when your child touches you.
96. The chance to connect before you correct so that your child can actually hear your words.
97. Your child a chance to work out their frustrations before helping them.
98. A bath when the day feels long.
99. A hug.
100. You get to choose the next one!  What is your favorite way to be kind to your child?

Name for my other Asyikin

In 2011, I shared the story on how I got Khaira's name. Read the story here.

This time around, we decided to give Aisha's name way before I was conceived.

It was on one of the saddest Friday in my life. I remember it clearly, just before Friday prayer, I received a call that made me rushed back from work straight to Ampang. Right after I submitted my thesis. Driving. Alone. Eyes blurry with tears.

And the next thing I know was that I was looking at arwah nenek for the last time. All the conversations we had, linger in my mind. Holding Love's hand. God knows how he felt at that time. My heart shattered by the sight of him.

We sat there, and I said, "If I was to get pregnant again, and if it's a girl, let's name her after nenek's name."

He agreed.

Then, a few months after.. I was pregnant. It was a girl.

Hence, the name Aisha Asyikin.

Dear Aisha, may you grow up as 'lively' as your name, following the personality of the Prophet's wife and a srikandi like your late moyang.

Ameen.

This merdeka day, we had the chance to watch nenek again. How she talked, how she moved,  we were there during the interview. Pengubat rindu.

Nenek and Khaira, trying to capture whatever left of the memory 

Al fatihah. You'll always be missed, Nek.