I spent the whole day today at one of my aunty's house for family gathering and we did some usual routine.. talking, lunch, talking some more, desert, talking, tea, then talk again.. only that we add something simple this time.. looking back at the old pictures, plenty of them.
I was not really up for that actually. I think i look funny when I was small.. I think my hair was funny, my dress, my pose.. everything didn't seem right. But i just tagged along, looking at the pictures of my extended family back in the old days when they were young and small which i have very few memories of those days. Till something really caught my eyes..
The picture of her.
She looked so healthy and young. I nearly cried. I pictured her in my mind every now and then. But never did I pictured her this happy. Her face is similar as the way I imagined her before, but looking at her just now I knew I have missed something really important about her. Staring at the very last picture of her just now made me realized how much I missed her. And how scared I am at the thought of forgetting how she looked like someday. Dear Allah, please let me have a vivid picture of her in my mind until the end of my life.
Then, something hit me really hard. I hardly remember those days spent with her. Those things we talked about before we slept at night next to each other, those things we did at the kitchen, but I still have clear memories on the way she talked, the way she ate, she slept, her smell. I remembered the first time i met my chinese indonesian supervisor during my practical at tamco and i told her, "the way u talked is similar to my great grandmother". And i grew fond of my supervisor because she reminded me of her in every way.
I miss her. A lot. Nyang, I hope sangat to see u in my dream again. There are a lot a lot A LOT of things I need to say and hear from u and I can't wait until the next time i see u again. As for now, I dedicate this post for u and I hope whatever memories remain with me will always ALWAYS be in my mind. I love and miss u a lot more than i could ever say.
Al-fatihah.
I was not really up for that actually. I think i look funny when I was small.. I think my hair was funny, my dress, my pose.. everything didn't seem right. But i just tagged along, looking at the pictures of my extended family back in the old days when they were young and small which i have very few memories of those days. Till something really caught my eyes..
The picture of her.
She looked so healthy and young. I nearly cried. I pictured her in my mind every now and then. But never did I pictured her this happy. Her face is similar as the way I imagined her before, but looking at her just now I knew I have missed something really important about her. Staring at the very last picture of her just now made me realized how much I missed her. And how scared I am at the thought of forgetting how she looked like someday. Dear Allah, please let me have a vivid picture of her in my mind until the end of my life.
Then, something hit me really hard. I hardly remember those days spent with her. Those things we talked about before we slept at night next to each other, those things we did at the kitchen, but I still have clear memories on the way she talked, the way she ate, she slept, her smell. I remembered the first time i met my chinese indonesian supervisor during my practical at tamco and i told her, "the way u talked is similar to my great grandmother". And i grew fond of my supervisor because she reminded me of her in every way.
I miss her. A lot. Nyang, I hope sangat to see u in my dream again. There are a lot a lot A LOT of things I need to say and hear from u and I can't wait until the next time i see u again. As for now, I dedicate this post for u and I hope whatever memories remain with me will always ALWAYS be in my mind. I love and miss u a lot more than i could ever say.
Al-fatihah.
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