Leaving the girls for my second umrah trip (T_T)

I remember in 2015, my good friend was telling this every time after solat,

"This year, I want to go for umrah!"

But she didn't make any preparation for that. Come December, her brother in law (BIL) was supposed to go to Umrah, but had to be cancelled due to work, guess who went to replace the BIL and his wife?

Then 2016, this same friend of mine was telling me again, every time after solat,

"This year, I want to go for Hajj!"

Again, she didn't make any preparation and about two months before Hajj, guess who was invited by the Almighty?

One day I asked her, "How?"

"If you want something good bad enough, Allah will help you!" Her level of faith and dependency, I cried!

"I did want it bad enough.." I said.

"What hold you back then?" She asked, smiling. I thought hard. It was the girls. I am one hell of clingy mom, so does my girls. "You have to let go. When you know it is a good thing to do, your niat is for Allah, Allah will take care of them."

I took it to heart.

I let go, sincerely for the first time, let loose, give all the control to Almighty and left them for Umrah for 6 days. And my heart is totally peace in Makkah and Madinah, I missed them. But I wasn't paranoid, it didn't ache.

I am blessed to be constantly reminded by good people surrounding me. Love said, that is also my form of rezeki. Mufti Menk said sometimes, Allah gave a reminder to us via normal people and normal event.

So how was it to leave them?

I told them earlier of my plan, reminded them every day.

Left them love letters, so they could read one by one every day. One side of the letter was coloring page, one side was my notes.

Left them homeworks, day by day.

In return, Khaira made us a box with letters from her day by day as well before we left. It was priceless.

Aisha was crying almost everyday at night before we left, but once we were in Umrah, she was doing ok. Khaira on the other hand was cool and all before we left. But on the day, she cried for half a day. Was inconsolable at the airport.

But, Alhamdulillah for my strong family support. One of my brothers and my SIL took leave to cheer them up. They brought them to Petrosains the next day. My parents in law visited them every now and then at my parents' house. Everything was smooth sailing.

Every day, K would write us letters and send us the photo. A sent some too, but of course, it was just some sketching of something that we could not make sense of.

We would call them everday via Kakao as apparently Whatsapp Call was blocked in Saudi. It was quite difficult to get the sim card as contrary from the previous year. Booths in airport was offline, so we waited until the next day to buy sim card in Makkah. I had to roam for two days.

They would send us videos and pictures and voice messages. This was my favourite!

By day 6, K was already super sad. Cried at night a bit and all, but it was ok, because we reached Malaysia the afternoon of 7th day :)

Alhamdulillah, the longest I left them and the first time both of us were not there. Thank you Alllah for taking care of them while I was gone, and for taking care of them all these while 24/7 :)