Space?

Yesterday, Love called me and asked, “You wanna follow me to futsal tonight?”

I just laughed and said, “No, thank you, i wanna go sleep!”

Then, there was a silent at the other end. I got slightly panicked. “You’re kidding right? About asking me to futsal tonight?”“It’s okay, i understand if you’re tired.” He answered slightly hurt. Damn, what have I done.

“If you want me to go with you, I’ll go. I just thought you needed, you know some time with your guy friends. I thought you were kidding because you know I never said yes to that before right.”

“I know, I just thought that now, we’re married.. But it’s okay, Sayang. Maybe next time, k.”

Then, later that night, he was out with his friends, I was at home, watching movie, had a nice DIY spa at home and I didn’t realize he called. So I called him back. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“Watching Captain Awesome (in Chuck) then had a long nice bath,” I answered sounded all chirpy.

“Sounds like you’re having fun,” he replied sincerely, sounded happy for me.


But, i suddenly felt guilty.

And I remembered the time when I wanted to go shopping by myself and he asked me to wait for him to come back. The time he asked me to follow him for a jamming session with his guy friends, but I went shopping with my girlfriend instead. OMG!! How mean.

Sometimes, I tend to forget that I’m a wife now. I’m still enjoying my “ME” time. Not that I don’t like being a wife. I do, it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life now.

But, as for now, I still need time by my own sometimes, just once in a while. I still love to shop alone all by myself, taking my own sweet time while multitasking on the phone with my friends at times (Since i always do this with BFF Qdin, it just reminds me of how much i miss him).

To share everything in my life with my better half is really really amazing, you know. He is sweet, lovable, helpful, and the list goes on, I just hope it’s not wrong for me feeling like this.

And i just hope someday, Love knows that I'm giving him some space of his own. Because i'm scared that when we're too attached, we tend to forget our own self, the one that both of us fell for at the first place.

(And since I would normally have this kind of serious conversation with BFF Qdin just makes me missing him even more.)

P/S: Qdin, things you have missed in my life: My bachelor convo, my wedding. Thing you are going to miss in my life: My Master convo. Boo, you suck!

Quick update

Busy busy busy..

However, this is my quick update!!

Baru lepas habis convo Master!!!

And, please look at my hubby's shirt.

So sweet ok!

I heart you, gorgeous ♥!!

The bliss in giving

I had a tiring tiring week..

Love was in Sabah the whole week, I thought I was going to have more time to do my work. But workload just keep increasing

This morning I feel like I've had enough.

Was stuck in jam for an hour plus. Met my supervisor. Rush to class. Student came for advice for an hour. Rush to bank. Eat half of my meal. Depressed and nearly cried, rushed to class.

Work pending: Exam question. Still owe my supervisor another conference paper, meaning i need to run a simulation. Preparation for a talk on Latex.

Then this evening, I had to go back Ampang, tomorrow rush for my convo rehearsal.. very.. very.. depressing.

Was about to break down when I closed the class door and I could not manage to lock it. Then a student came to me and said, "Madam, are u free now. I'm not from your section, but can i just see u for a while, i have so many problem to ask you about?"

"Okay, sure" Deep inside was cursing myself.. i'm not free. I have lots of problems myself.

Btw, his for a while took 1 and a half hour. A lot of things he was confused about on that subject in his class that he did not manage to clarify yet.

But at the end of the conversation, he looked so happy and thanked me like multiple times. And the depression just went away just like that.

To top it all, before he went away he said, "Madam, is it ok if i come to ur section to learn about this subject from now on?"

Are you kidding me, it's a pleasure. But of course la kena cover macho, so I said, "Sure! So, you're going to go to your class and my class? If you can find time, why not."

He said, "Thank you, Madam."

"Thank YOU".

That's the best thing of being a lecturer.

You found bliss in giving. :) Just when u thought u dont have anything else to give.

Preparation for my Master's graduation!

I just received my graduation robe!!!!!!

And OMG!! It's so cantik!! Perfect! Perfect! :)

My convo is this Saturday, peeps!!!! Can you beleive it??? After days and nights with coding and fuzzy logic stuck in my brain, it's all worth it!!

I'm so gonna sleep with my robe tonight!!

Ugh!!

Currently my office has decided to band facebook during office hours. And YM and MSN too, which explains why you hardly see me online recently (other than I have tonnes of work to do).

Tension a bit.

But you can still use your facebook during lunch hour though..

A bit hard for me, cuz lunch hour is the time i used to marathon How I met your mother or Glee or Chuck while eating.. Which reminds me that I have an important thing to tell you guys, I'm no longer in love with Barney Stinson or Jesse StJames. My current obsession is Captain Awesome!!!!

Anyway, still tension..

BUT surprisingly, I'm progressing really good today. :)

I owe my supervisor another IEEE paper. Since hubby off to KK this whole weekdays, please pray hard that I'll get it done by this week.

The dos and donts of The ex

There are some dos and donts when it comes to exes.

As for me, I don't think it's necessary for me to friend with my ex (this rules apply to scandals too). It's too complicated and I love to make my better half secure. I love my life to be simple, please don't judge me please.

I hate.. no.. let's make it.. I loathe people who say "I'm totally over my ex" and when the ex calls, face all bright up, if he/she was a star, it'd sure bright up the whole town. If they just ended up the relationship, it's still okay, but if after 2 years.. are you out of your mind?!

Though, I still have a lot of respect to those who can maintain close friends with their exes with no hanky panky or whatnot. That is very rare. But, some of my friends manage to do that. And since I have no idea how they could be damn professional about it, I really salute these people, they just.. mature..

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that there are some dos and donts in a relationship and they VARY.

Some friends with the ex. Some just don't.

But I think there should be one thing that all of us should agree on..

NEVER TALK BAD ABOUT YOUR EX IN PUBLIC

Everyone has flaws. Both party must have a flaw, or else the relationship will work out, insya Allah. And yes, sometimes you gossip about your partner with your friend. But you don't talk bad about your ex in public. You don't abuse facebook to mock the person you once loved.

I sometimes wonder, how could you do that to someone you once loved. There could just be 2 reasons for me.

One, is that you think you really over your ex. But you are not. The fact that you are still talking about your ex in public means, you are not over him/her. If you are over your ex, you won't even know where he/she is right now. And which is why, I am not friend with my ex. For me, when it's over, it's over (but of course after a while)

Reason number 2, is that you want to show your ex that you win the break up, which also means you are not really over her. Why would you wanna impress her still? pfftt..

That is just my 2 cents.. :)

It's just.. u know disappointing to read someone writes nasty things about his ex when you think used to think highly of that someone.

And sucks to know that his ex is someone very dear to you.

Blink

I'm the type of person who take a look at something and instantly decide whether i like it or not.

When I was small I already knew that I wanted to be a teacher. As I got older wiser, I fell in love with Engineering, so now I'm doing both. Teaching Engineering. My life has always been that simple.

My husband loves shopping with me because I would go one round in the shopping mall, then I would say, "I wanna buy that purple shirt just now" or "Nothing nice. Let's just go home."

I don't do much thinking. Love in the other hand, he thinks TOO much. Here's one situation we had at this one particular restaurant..

Waiter: Soft drink or ice lemon tea?
Me (immediately): Ice lemon tea, please.
Waiter: You, Sir? (referring to Love)
Love: (Thinking for nearly a minute) Soft drink please.
Waiter: We have Coke, Sprite, bla.. bla..
Love: (Thinking as if it's the end of the world) Coke la coke. Eh.. wait, no we're boycotting the Jews. Urm.. 100 plus la 100 plus. TQ.
Waiter: Or we have also ice blended?
Love: Ice blended sounds nice!! Can i have Cappuccino please?
Waiter: We also have a new flavour, Sir. Would you like to try Mango?
Love: (Panicking, thinking for a minute more)

At this point, I just had to stop the waiter, "Next time, you should just introduce that new drink from the beginning. Sayang, you don't want to grow your hair grey just because of a drink.."

Love: Gosh! This is hard. Sayang pick one for me.
Me: Just pick whichever u like most. It's just a drink after all.
Love: Gosh I don't know I like them all!

UN. BE. LEIVE. A. BLE.

Even worse after what took like forever to decide on what to drink, when his drink arrived, it always has the worst taste. And I would make fun of him all the time. Because Love sometimes scolded me to think before I decide. He said I'm too lazy to think. But hey, at least if my drink tasted bad, I could just console myself telling it's ok, cuz I didn't stress out to pick which is best for me after all.

This situation happens over food. And over the largest think we bought. House, car, Gibson..

Of course, my judgement is not always right. Once, a new guy came to our school, and he looked so arrogant and he was in the same class as mine, I just hated him. The whole class knew how much I hate him. But, I ended up marrying him.

How did my judgement fail? How did that 2 seconds I used to analyze people did not work to my future husband?

I was not sure, I thought I should really stop judging people. And I did try. But after I finished reading this book yesterday, I knew why sometimes judgement fail.



The fact that, judging a person in 2 seconds without you really knowing that person is ridiculous. You have to spend a quality 2 seconds with that someone to really judge him. Because when I finally talked to 'Love' 10 years ago that I realized how different we were, and they say opposite attracts, so.. the rest is history.

This is one heck of an interesting book. Read it read it read it!!