The face of heaven :)

Alhamdulillah, BFF Maria gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl at 8.33 am this morning!

Normal.

No epidural.

I'm soooooo proud of you, babe!



Sadly, Love is in Pahang currently (outstation, pfftt..) I can't wait to see BFF Maria and her Little Princess. Hopefully tomorrow.

It's BFF Maria's birthday tomorrow anyway!

Owh.. and as of today.. I'm in my third trimester, yay! Dah dekat! Kena banyakkan amalan!

Life is unpredictable

July last year, about a year ago I blogged about Nenek's driver who was in a coma due to heart attack.

With Allah's will, after a couple of weeks, he woke up from coma and was so healthy that he could work with Nenek again.

During brother-in-law's wedding, he sent us to the bride's house and that was the last time I ever met him..

I received a phone call from Love at about 7pm just now telling that Nenek's driver already passed away. Innalillah.

My first thought was that, he passed away due to his heart attack.

Friday night normally was a guy's night out for Love. After work, he would go jamming with his friends until 10pm, then he would go for futsal, so I would only be seeing him after midnight.

Since he heard the news during jamming, he straight away went to Nenek's house without me and later update me with the news of how the driver passed away. Around 4pm, he rode his motorcycle home from Nenek's house and he was hit by a lorry.

How unpredictable life is. Just a year ago in the same month, he was in a coma because of something else.

And this year, he passed away due to something else.

Sedih. But Allah SWT loves him more, he passed away on Friday after all, penghulu segala hari, Alhamdulillah.

You know I can tolerate with a lot of thing. With the fact that my husband wants to spend time with his friends every Friday night. Or the fact that my husband always away for work.. Or the fact that he wants to spend his money on cars or guitars or PS3.. I would even let go of my beloved Savvy for his Alfa.

But one thing I would NEVER in a million year tolerate with is that if he wants a motorcycle. NEVER. Period. No discussion there.

In our relationship, I don't demand much from him. So, I hope this one thing that I asked, he can just understand. It breaks my heart SO MUCH everytime I heard about motorcycle. :(

Hypnobirthing Class 3

In hypnobirthing class 3, basically we were enlightened with the hospital’s procedure upon our admission to birth our baby. Previously, I was so scared to know, but upon hearing all the details, I’ve learned that IGNORANCE IS SO NOT A BLISS! I want to be well educated before my delivery day so that Love and I will be the one making decision for the baby, not the doctor.

We discussed with our practitioner on the procedures and what we wish to avoid. We found the solutions as mentioned below.

Procedures once admitted:
-Change to their gown
-Electronic Fetal Monitoring (EFM) – To monitor the baby’s heartbeat
-Disadvantage: You cannot move about to find the most comfortable position for your baby during surge. If you don’t move about, surge will become painful.
-Our solution: EFM only periodically.
-Vaginal Examination (VE) – To check your dilation
-Disadvantage: Infection from the nurse’s fingers and accidentally rupture the membrane.
-Our solution: I don’t want any VE because I don’t see the advantages of me knowing how much I have dilated!!-Enema - the procedure of introducing liquids into the rectum to evacuate the lower intestinal tract.
-As for now, I need to discuss with my doctor how to go about on this matter.
-Drip

Procedures before birthing:
-Induction

Why induction? Overdue.

What to worry about overdue? Every baby needs different time to be mature in the mommy’s tummy. Your little precious will definitely come out when he/she is ready.

You scared that your baby will be too big? Again, your baby will never be too big for your body to birth. Just have faith :)

You scared of placenta calcification (“aging” of the placenta) ? As long as baby is still moving even though you’re overdue, baby is still safe.

You scared of meconium (baby’s first stool inside your tummy )? Again feel the movement. Or check your membrane once it is released, make sure it is clear.

You scared that your amniotic fluid will run low/run high? The WHO standard for the thickness of your amniotic fluid is from 5 to 22 cm, but the doctor’s standards normally vary. So, if he/she said it is too thin/too thick, ask him/her how thick/thin it is. Whatever it is, your amniotic fluid varies all the time. So if it is running low, just drink a lot of water to make sure you are well hydrated. Best drink – young coconut (without ice or sugar).

You scared that your membrane is already released, but baby still do not want to come out yet? Again, just drink a lot of water to replace the water that is being discharged.

You scared of augmentation (Very slow progress of dilation)? You scared of being tired? Just rest. Labor slows down as you get tired. Don’t worry, your baby will take care of you if you take care of your baby. :)

-Pain relief
1) Epidural
2) Laughing gas (Enthonox)
3) Pethidine jab

You have variety of pain reliefs. Discuss with you practitioner beforehand on the advantages and the disadvantages of each options. Don’t just decide on the day itself, don’t just follow your doctor’s decision blindly. As for me, I pray so that I can have a natural birthing. But if in desperate cases, I think Laughing gas is the safest choice. Epidural is too risky for both mummy and baby.

Procedures during birth
- Caesarean
- Vacuum
- Forceps
Whatever other interventions, I pray I can have a normal birthing with the breathing techniques I've learned and mentioned in my previous post.

Procedures after birth
-Birth of your placenta; sometimes the doctor will pull out the placenta or jab you to enhance surges. But artificial surges do not ensure dilation. So just drink warm water after you deliver to help birth the placenta.

Procedures for babies
-Sigh.. I can’t bear to explain what some of them did to the newborn baby. I just want to be with my baby and Love for an hour after birth, no compromise.

To achieve all these, we have come out with our own “Letter of Agreement” to a doctor that can support all our demands.. Now, we’re in a hunt for a doctor that can understand and can be considerate with all these.

I have learned a lot from my hypnobirthing class. I strongly suggest expecting mommies and daddies to experience the class themselves. My explanations are definitely not enough to enlighten you guys.

Hypnobirthing rocks!


With those who believe in natural birthing :)

P/S: Please note that I am not a certified practitioner of hypnobirthing, I write based on my class and my experience. And if anyone with hypnobirthing experience feels as if some part of the article needs to be corrected, I truly appreciate any feedbacks. Thank you.

Let's grow old together..

10 years ago, he sat next to me in class and we talked about our future..

Of how we wanted to grow old together, about our future sons, future daughters..

And who would have thought that future is here.

In 2009, his first child, Amir was born..



And now, presenting Hafiz's second child..



Umar :)



How time flies.

It feels as if just yesterday he sat next to me with all the talk about what we would be after high school, and now we're all that we planned for. Alhamdulillah.

How Amir looks like now.. (With Uncle Kapal, nanti Aunty dah bersalin, Aunty dukung Amir ok!)



Pregnancy is an epidemic. Lepas Maria, me, then Sya. Next, Fau?



I remember the song Hafiz and I dedicated to each other back then in Form 4,

"Say you'll stay forever,
You're so wonderful,
Forever for whatever"
(OAG - Forever for whatever)

And our forever is here, you guys!!! :)

Hypnobirthing Class 2 - Breathing and Relaxation technique

What is surge?

Surge (or some might call it contraction) is the tightening and shortening of the uterine muscles during labor. Good news is that, it enchances the effacement and dilation of the cervix and contributing to the descent of the baby.

So, since surge is very important, we want to make sure we have the correct breathing technique in order to help us dilate more, and hence baby will be birthed faster.

In hypnobirthing class, we've learned three basic techniques of breathing.

1) Calm breathing.

It's basically the breathing you have when you are asleep. You use this in between surge. Breathe in at a count of 4 and breathe out at a count of 8 very calmly as if you're asleep.

2) Surge breathing.

Breathe in at a count of 20 and breathe out at a count of 20 very slowly, when you breathe, feel the air inside your tummy like when you are inflating a balloon. You use this during surge. I tried this during one of my Braxton Hicks surge, it helps :)

3) Birth breathing.

The most important breathing. You use this to breathe out your baby. Breathe in to your throat and without holding your breath, let it go down to your tummy and vagina, like a J shape. Best time to practice? Each time you have a bowel movement. Don't push your stool, breath it out, might take longer time to let it out than usual, but it wil come out eventually, more gently. It took me 3 toilets visit before I am satisfied with my birth breathing :)

Why breathe out your baby, why don't just push it out like the doctor asked you to?

1) Because we want to avoid any tear.
2) To save energy.
3) And pushing does not help you dilate more.

Other than the breathing techniques to help you with the surge, there are also relaxation techniques to help you ease the pain.

Basically, hypnobirthing taught you some deep relaxation techniques, where you'll be hypnotized so that you don't feel the pain during surge.

I guess on the relaxation techniques, it's better for you to read from the Hypnobirthing book itself, or better still.. learn from the practitioner so that she can check on your breathing and relaxation technique.



But, my advice is.. if you want to be hypnotized, you must allow yourselves to be hypnotized first. The rest can come easily. You are in charge of your own body. So far, I've managed to numb half of my body, I've managed to paralyze my leg, Insya Allah.. I'm confident for the labor.

Whatever it is, like any other things you've learned.. in order to be succesful you need a lot of practice. And that's just what I'm gonna do until the day I deliver Little Precious.

And in order for you to always remember what you've learned, I always believe in sharing. And hence, that is what I just did.

Doakan, the birth of my baby will be as natural as possible. Insya Allah. Ameen.

P/S: Please note that I am not a certified practitioner of hypnobirthing, I write based on my class and my experience. And if anyone with hypnobirthing experience feels as if some part of the article needs to be corrected, I truly appreciate any feedbacks. Thank you.

Women's true ambition

Since I planned for three days of babymoon in Cherating, but Love couldn't make it cuz he just started working at a new company, I had two days leave all by myself.

On my first day of leave, I spent time at the hair saloon (Hedkandee, my favourite!), went shopping, cleaned the room and cooked for Love. On my second day of leave, I did my facial and body scrub at my favourite spa, Seputeh Kapas.



Then, I wonder.. is this how it feels like to be a housewife (K.. orang sekarang panggil WAHM - Work At Home Mum, nama glamour)?

If this is how it feels, goodness.. It surely feels GREAT!

And as much as I am so deeply in love with my job now, I am not planning to work like this all my life. As much as I've been wanting to be a lecturer almost my entire life, I have another ultimate ambition that has been motivating me to work harder all this while. Just like any other women..

I want to be a housewife.

With maid taking care of the house. Me spending time with my children (or shopping or spa while they are away), cook some fancy food and just wait for Love to come home with super sexy nice clothes. Bestnyeeeeee... (T_T)

Dreams.. How sweet.

And yet how all things started with dreams. All the things that I've achieved now. Alhamdulillah. The power of doa :)

I hope to retire early. (My supervisors are so gonna kill me after reading this statement. Gomennasai T_T) Not just retiring early, but I want to retire smart. There are of course things to achieve before I retire.

For me.
- I want a maid to do the cleaning once I retire, so that my full concentration is on Love and our children.
- I want my own Smart Reader or Qee Dees or Kumon (whatever education business will do, teaching is my life).
- I want a car that I will retire with, perhaps a red Mini Cooper S?



- I want some properties for my investment.
- I want to have enough income still every month for me to splurge on myself; spa, shopping etc.

For my parents and family.
- I want to still give them money monthly after I retire, RM2k monthly perhaps?
- I want to buy them a car (very soon k, Mum and Dad)
- I want to bring them to perform Umrah or Hajj.
- I want to bring my whole family for an all sponsored vacation anywhere outside Malaysia.

For Love.
- I want him to have his dream Alfa first.
- I want him to be ready both financially and mentally about me retiring.

For my future children.
- I want to have enough savings for their future.

For my career.
- I want to retire with the title of "Professor Nurul Asyikin" ;p



- I want my name to be well heard in my field (so that kalau bukak business later, people can trust my business).

A lot still to achieve, but I know Allah SWT will guide me through it.

So, in the mean time, what I need to do is work harder (for both my work and my PhD), save smarter (work more on my retirement investment) and most importantly seize this short time of working I have left.

Insya Allah. I just have faith :)

Hypnobirthing Class 2 - Falling in love with your baby :)

I was not so keen of changes.

As for now, Alhamdulillah, I have everything that I wanted in life. A very supportive family, a husband whom I deeply in love with (and who love me that deeply in return), a good career, some amazing friends – just complete.

As evil as it sounded, I had this little fear that everything would not be the same once I birthed my Little Precious (LP).

I was not proud of the fact that both Love and I had very minimal conversation with LP.

At times, I wonder if LP could really understand or could even actually listen to me. Even worse, I did not even know what to tell LP since I could not see him/her physically just as yet. It felt like talking to yourself, it felt funny.

And I did not believe in love at first sight.

I had this doubt of whether I can love LP that much the moment I first met him/her. But, I swear my second class of hypnobirthing got me fell in love with LP in ways that I could not ever imagine I would.

There’s a story told by my practitioner where a man was hypnotized and he was back in the moment when he was inside his mother’s womb and this guy felt a moment of ecstasy since the mother was bragging about him.

And there’s a story of a 6 years old girl who was playing with her toy and replicating the exact same moment happened when she was being delivered; the position of her parents, the stuff inside the labour room, even the colour and position of the mom’s slipper.

For more information about it you can read this book --> “Babies remember birth”



Then, it hit me.. If I was to provide the most positive environment to my baby, it has to start from the womb. And the first time LP sees the world, I must provide him/her with the most joyful time so that LP’s first perspective of the world will always be all rainbows and butterflies.

You always remember the first time when you experienced things, right? It’s always there somewhere very deep inside our complicated mind.

I remember my first visit to Italiannies, when Love brought me to a very romantic date and everything was perfect. And everytime I visit Italiannies, that wonderful feeling just lingers. I know my baby will feel the same thing too, the first time he/she sees this world, sees me and Love.

I pray very hard so that I would be able to smile at my very last push in labor, ever so happy to receive my baby and Love would choose his very best Baju Melayu for the delivery. I want an hour of bonding time before the nurse take my baby to nursery. I want to hold my baby, look at him/her and talk to him/her with joy and love.

Last night, we whispered to the baby to give us a sign, “If you’re a boy kick once. If you’re a girl, kick twice."

LP kicked me non-stop each time we asked the questions. He/she listened eventually. I have never loved him/her that much at that moment.

And I’m so thankful that Allah SWT opens my heart to join this class, who knows how badly I needed it after all. :)

P/S: Little Precious, it really doesn't matter whether you're a boy or girl, just give us a sign whenever you're ready. :)