One month old

Anakku Khaira,

Alhamdulillah.. U’re one month old today!

I will forever remember the moment I birth u. U cried a little just to announce ur presence to the world. And when the Dr. put u on my tummy, the first thing I realized was how large your eyes were.. The most beautifull!

During my whole pregnancy, I always pray for an easy delivery. Alhamdulillah, I got just that. But I took for granted to pray for my milk supply. And for the first 3 days of your life, we had to feed u with Mama Iza’s EBM + formula. God knows how it broke my heart. Thus my dear Khaira, don’t take for granted the power of doa. We are just His humble servants after all.

The first night we took you home, we slept at Nanny’s guest room downstairs. What started as a peaceful night turned out to be a chaos when u cried everytime we put u down. So abi and Ibu had to hold u the whole night, clueless on what to do.

The next day onwards, Nanny and Atuk decided to sleep in the living room, helping Abi and Ibu to take care of u. At times, Ayah Ngah and Busu came down to hold u in the middle of the night when u cried, so much love in the house for u. Nanny and Atuk taught us what to do when u cried and eventually u got better day by day. WE gor better day by day. When u grow up later, please do ALWAYS remember what Atuk, Nanny, Ayah Ngah and Busu did for u k.

Khaira, I never knew breastfeeding would be such a time consuming task. U were nursing every hour and sometimes up to 40 mins per nursing. I learned that breast milk are much easier to digest compared to cow’s milk. And that explains the every hour feeding, day and night and I never had a solid sleep more than 2 hours after u’re born.

You were having colic for the first 4 weeks of ur life. I tried to monitor everything I ate, and just about 3 days ago, I stopped eating lobak putih that was supposed to increase my milk supply, and finally ur tummy got better and better. Alhamdulillah.

Day after day, u started to nurse less frequently. Started to recover from ur mild jaundice. Started to learn how to burp and to adapt on day and night.

Ibu on the other hand, learned how to hold a fragile newborn, learned how to nuse u, how to burp u, how to calm u down..

Abi learned how to bath u, to change ur diapers, to swaddle u, to make u sleep..

Dear Khaira, the reason I’m writing this letter is not to whine, but to remind u of the hard times; the times I almost gave up, the times I bet u almost gave up. But look at us Khaira, after a month, we adapt to each other eventually!

You as that tiny little person outside the womb. Ibu and Abi which life changed into parenthood in just one night. And with patience and time, we managed to find the middle point.

A month old Khaira at 3.9 kg

I hope in the future, u’ll always remember, if we survived this, we can survive everything insya Allah. At times u think u cannot go on, remember that u’re a strong person. Not a single cry during BCG, a minor cry during Hep B yesterday, you’ll survive, I have faith.

Much love, Ibu and Abi..

Mum vs Grandmum

My mum was being raised by her grandmother, I was raised by my grandmother while my mom was working and now Baby Khaira would be raised by her grandmother (my mom) when I'm away to work later.

Now since I'm in confinement under Mum's care, I pretty much get the idea of how Baby Khaira is going to be raised by my mum.

And of course, since Mum and I were totally on a different page, there were hiccups here and there. Like the fact how Mum babytalked all the time while Love and I treated Little Khaira as intelligent human being as possible. Or she held and sang to her for every single reasons possible; nak tido, nak buang air, hiccups, while Love and I would rather calmed her down inside her baby cot.

Gaahhhhh!! Tension ok sometimes!

Anyhow, I too was raised by my grandparents. I, too was being spoiled by my grandmum and many times I witnessed the arguments between Mum and Grandmum, funny it's happening to me now.

But to think about it again, I am REALLY glad that Grandmum was a BIG part of my life. I love her endlessly, she talked to me in ways a mum could never talked to her daughter.. She talked to me in ways I would listen. And I talked to her in ways she would listen.

And Mum, being a MOTHER has taught me all the disciplines I should learn. Though the gap between me and Mum were bigger than with my Grandmum, but I couldn't deny the fact that she shaped me to become the person I am today.

I might be spoiled by my Grandmum, but at the end of the day, both Mum and Grandmum were proud of who I am today. That is all that matters in the end, right?

And for that, I am more than happy that Little Khaira is going to have the right balance in her life. The love of a Grandmum and a Mother :)

Second stage of renovation!

Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah SWT.

The second stage of renovation for our home seems to be earlier than we thought it would be. Rezeki Khaira.

We decided to cement the outside of the house about a month before Khaira was born so that for her aqiqah, guests would feel more comfortable to makan2 there.

Ironically, after dad helped us find the best contractor, the work began on the day Little Khaira was born herself :)

So, this was our front porch before..

And this is after renovation..





The back of the house, before..



After renovation..



Costs us RM3200 altogether.

Our next plan is to put gutter and renovate the staircase. Insya Allah, next year :) Moga dipermudahkan. Ameen.

Video of Khaira Asyikin's hypnobirth

Pardon me for the lack of updates!!

I was in birth high these past couple of weeks. Remember when you first fell in love, nothing else seems to matter except for your loved ones. Masya Allah, that is kinda how it feels, such beautiful feeling puts me in cloud 9 all the time.

I am so in love with Little Khaira, words could not expressed how I feel. Owh.. WAHMs out there, I soooo envy you guys!

Anyways, video of Little Khaira's birth as promised!

Taken by Love, edited by Love with love..



Alhamdulillah, Dear Allah I could never thank you enough :)

The (hypno)birth of Khaira Asyikin

Little Khaira's EDD was on the 30th October 2011, but I had a feeling she would come out to this world a little earlier. I predicted she would come out on the 14th, Love predicted on the 16th.

But after our weekly check up on the 13th, doctor said baby had not yet engaged, it would take more than a week, I got disappointed. I could not wait to see our baby, so I did almost everything to get Little Khaira engaged. Squat, walk for 3kms, bouncing on gym ball, you name it..

So a day before the delivery, I took a slow walk along Taman TAR, about 3kms. I attended Baby Zara's aqiqah and Uniten's convo. At night, I felt some mild and yet a new sensation during my surge. I urinate even more frequently that night, almost once every 2 hours.

At 3am on 17th October, I went for a pee and already had a blood show. I woke Love up for second opinion, wore a pad and the blood show continued until we woke up at 6am. I asked Love, "Should we go to work today?"

Love asked, "Do you think Khaira will come out today?"

I said, "If you asked me, I think yes, she's ready to come out today."

So we decided to take a leave, mild surge like period pain came every now and then, surges were not yet regular, we could not even time them yet. Had a heavy breakfast and lunch because I felt REALLY hungry that day. Nesting instinct?

Love was really sick on that day, he had a throat infection that already infected his tummy. Went to a clinic to get his MC. I got a bit worried by then.

During lunch at 2pm (by this time Mum and Dad kept asking me to go to the hospital), the surge started to get regular. Around 5 minutes apart and each surge lasted for about 40seconds. I decided to stay at home as long as possible, so I took my gym ball and bouncing up and down until the surge got more frequent.

Then the surge started to get as long as 2 minutes for 2 more minutes apart. We packed our stuff and decided to take a slow drive to the hospital at about 3pm. Love stopped by a stall to get me some fresh coconut to keep my amniotic fluid sufficient so Little Khaira will be comfortable inside. So thoughtful.

As we arrived to the hospital at 4.30pm, waited for admission, the surge got stronger. I went inside the labor room at 5pm, midwife did the VE and I was sooo disappointed to know that I was only 3cms dilated by then. 3cms? How could that be possible. I thought I would at least be 7cms dilated by then. I was expected to deliver the next morning, argh!!

Midwife asked me whether I wanted to go home, or I wanted to be admitted, I said I wanted to be admitted to the ward because I had a feeling I was gonna birth at a near time.

Then after the 20minutes of annoying EFM where I couldn't move an inch to adjust my position so that surge would have less sensation, a doctor came to do the VE again. A new doctor, apparently our gynae was on leave. :( So all the birth plan that we were working for, sigh..

Anyway, it was about half an hour after the first VE, and I was already 6cms dilated! Theoretically, you'll be dilated 1 cm every hour. Alhamdulillah, theory is just a theory after all. So they said they expected me to give birth at 9pm today, I was already in labour, I had to stay inside the labour room.

I resisted all the pain relief. No epidural, no injections, no laughing gas, etc.

The pain which was then bearable, became way full of sensation at that time. Almost no gap in between. My source of strength is next beside me, Love was there throughout the delivery and he was everything and more than I could asked for. Alhamdulillah. I am so blessed. He helped me in ways even a healthy person would not be able to help. May Allah SWT bless you, Sayang.

Tried to bear, but at about 6.40pm, I felt a really strong sensation to breathe down. I asked Love to call the nurse. Midwife came and I asked her to check on me, she put on her glove and just about when she wanted to do the VE, I saw her reaction; surprised and started caling the doctors and the nurses.

"OMG. You were so quite!" The midwife said. Apparently, I was already fully dilated!!

With the first breath, baby's head already crowning. And at the fourth breath, Little Khaira was out to this world, not a single cry, eyes wide open at 6.55pm, 2.7kgs. Alhamdulillah :)









Love managed to capture the video of the birth, which I will upload in the near time. Don't worry, it's PG. You'll be surprised at how calm and how easy Little Khaira was born :) Thank you for all the prayers.

Updates:

Video of the birth can be found here.

My birth story has been published in Hypnobirthing Malaysia's website. Read it here.

Raya 2011 :)

Raya has been super fun for me.. Alhamdulillah, once again I had the chance to meet my 'life'..

And we have a new addition in my in law's family this year..

Kak Izrin! Missing in the pic, sister-in-law currently in Korea. But, she called me that Raya eve, so.. tadelaa sedih sangat.

Went to quite a lot of open houses this year. Among the most interesting one is Esan's open house. We were in the same Mandarin class back then, and we were HUGE fans of Upin Ipin. Was excited for his open house to meet his adorable daughter, Zafreen!!!

Finally, got the chance to bring Love over to my uncle's house; who owns some sort of farm.



Happy to see that Love and my family / cousins are getting closer and closer each day. My little cousin, Danish was excited upon seeing Love's new Liverpool jersey, he changed to his jersey too..



I got the chance to meet my friends from all over the world this Raya. Rezeki pregnant mummy, everyone got to see my tummy.

I'm glad I had the chance to meet BFF Qdin who came back to Malaysia for a couple of days during Raya.

Met Fai who came all the way from Aberdeen.

Met Go San, Love's friend from Japan.

Met my soulmates..

Catch breakfast with FJoe, whose sister-in-law just gave birth inside her car!!Btw, my new favourite breakfast spot has got to be Subang Ria!

Met my relatives a lotttt!! :) Just last weekend mum threw a small kenduri doa selamat for my delivery. My younger brother threw a surprise by sponsoring a birthday cake for me; a yummy carrot cake!

Aaahhhhh.. I miss Raya already. Raya haji tak besh! I'll be in confinement, tak dapat makan rendang, bwekk!!

Just so you know, I ate A LOT throughout Raya, from the first week of Raya until now, I gained consistently 1 kg each week.. Gemokkkk!!! So, if you're wondering how much I gained as of now, it's 12 kgs altogether ok. Benci. Maximum I can gain is 12 kgs. Dah max out!!!! Tamau makan Obimin lagi, gemokkk!!!

The things he did for us

Little Princess,

I just want you to know about some of the things Daddy sacrificed for us, even way before you were born..

1) During my morning sickness, he would bath me, feed me, massaged me, cleaned me up eveytime I vomited.

2) He went to Hypnobirthing class with me, minding the distance and the fees.

3) He was with me in EVERY monthly (and now weekly) check up; just to get a glance of you. And today, with the new gynae, we finally had the chance to see your face, and your tiny little fingers and toes. May Allah SWT bless our gynae.

4) He came up with brilliant brilliant slides of hypnobirthing for me to refer to.

5) He would monitor my foods, my drinks, what I should and should not eat. And Alhamdulillah, I am as healthy as a horse now.

6) He prayed for us everytime after prayers.

7) He cancelled a 12 hours concert (which ticket he already bought) that he so wanted to go, just for us.

8) He put his dream Alfa on hold, just for us.

9) He fight for the natural birth that I wanted.

10) And most importantly, he supports us both physically and mentally.

You're safe around him, Little Princess. WE are safe around him. He has so much love to provide us. Just when I thought he gave us enough, there are more and more love coming from him.

I can't thank you enough, Sayang. It's one of the many many days I feel so blessed having you as my husband, and most importantly having you as a father of our Little Princess :) 143.