The breastfeeding challenges

Only Allah SWT knows how challenging it is to breastfeed Baby Khaira.

The first three days, I did not manage to produce any milk. After three massage sessions, I fully breastfeed Baby Khaira on the fourth day of her life.

Unfortunately, Baby Khaira kept on having colic after I breasfed her. Tried experimenting with my diet and found out that she could not take lobak putih. So, I stopped eating lobak putih and she got better.

But then, my milk supply decreased. The confinement lady came again and found out that there was some clog. Massage again, Alhamdulillah the next morning, it got better.

After I stopped pumping since the milk supply decreased, I started again after the massage. But only to find out that there was no suction with the breast pump. Manufacturing defect. Took a week plus to service and they loaned us another pump, Modu. Sucks a lot!! The suction was so slow, took hours to express my breastmilk.

Then, I got a message in my blog from a reader saying it was not good to pump during the first 6 weeks. I took it as a sign. Takpelah, tak pump for a while. After all, I got about 12 bottles (60 ozs) of supply already.

So, last Saturday, Love dropped by at our new house.. where I stored my expressed brestmilk (EBM). And sangatlaaaaahhhh sedih, rumah black out. The 12 bottles of EBM? Rosak, dah masam.

Astaghfirullah.

Dugaan..

La yukallifullah hunafsan illawus 'aha.

Everytime I read the Ma'thurat, I paused at this part and cried.

"On no soul do Allah place a burden greater than it can bear."

A decade together and another year older

21st Nov, 10 years ago, a best friend that was so dear to me proposed me to become his girlfriend.. And now, I'm his wife and the mother to our daughter, Baby Khaira!

On 22nd Nov was Love's 26th birthday. Whee!! We had moderate celebrations this year; for his and for mine compared to last year's celebration -> mine; his.

For mine, since it was 5 days before I gave birth to Khaira, we had a mini celebration at Little White Cafe , Bangi. Ooohhh.. The red velvet is to die for!

For his, since I was in confinement, I couldn't take him out to a fancy dinner. For a little surprise I decided to try Blooming and send over a box of chocolate for him at his office.



I am very satisfied with the service. The chocolate came at the right time and it was uber delicious! I chose Beryl's homemade chocolate, it was Oreo cookies inside with Beryl's chocolate outside. Love loves both the surprise and the taste of the chocolate. I am one happy customer, good job Blooming!



Later as he got home, I called for Domino's delivery and we had a mini celebration with my family. FYI, I did not eat any of the pizzas no matter how tempting it was. *Pat at the back* Am so proud with myself.


Happy birthday, Sayaaannngggggg!!!! I love you a lot. After confinement, we go celebrate ok!!! :)

One month old

Anakku Khaira,

Alhamdulillah.. U’re one month old today!

I will forever remember the moment I birth u. U cried a little just to announce ur presence to the world. And when the Dr. put u on my tummy, the first thing I realized was how large your eyes were.. The most beautifull!

During my whole pregnancy, I always pray for an easy delivery. Alhamdulillah, I got just that. But I took for granted to pray for my milk supply. And for the first 3 days of your life, we had to feed u with Mama Iza’s EBM + formula. God knows how it broke my heart. Thus my dear Khaira, don’t take for granted the power of doa. We are just His humble servants after all.

The first night we took you home, we slept at Nanny’s guest room downstairs. What started as a peaceful night turned out to be a chaos when u cried everytime we put u down. So abi and Ibu had to hold u the whole night, clueless on what to do.

The next day onwards, Nanny and Atuk decided to sleep in the living room, helping Abi and Ibu to take care of u. At times, Ayah Ngah and Busu came down to hold u in the middle of the night when u cried, so much love in the house for u. Nanny and Atuk taught us what to do when u cried and eventually u got better day by day. WE gor better day by day. When u grow up later, please do ALWAYS remember what Atuk, Nanny, Ayah Ngah and Busu did for u k.

Khaira, I never knew breastfeeding would be such a time consuming task. U were nursing every hour and sometimes up to 40 mins per nursing. I learned that breast milk are much easier to digest compared to cow’s milk. And that explains the every hour feeding, day and night and I never had a solid sleep more than 2 hours after u’re born.

You were having colic for the first 4 weeks of ur life. I tried to monitor everything I ate, and just about 3 days ago, I stopped eating lobak putih that was supposed to increase my milk supply, and finally ur tummy got better and better. Alhamdulillah.

Day after day, u started to nurse less frequently. Started to recover from ur mild jaundice. Started to learn how to burp and to adapt on day and night.

Ibu on the other hand, learned how to hold a fragile newborn, learned how to nuse u, how to burp u, how to calm u down..

Abi learned how to bath u, to change ur diapers, to swaddle u, to make u sleep..

Dear Khaira, the reason I’m writing this letter is not to whine, but to remind u of the hard times; the times I almost gave up, the times I bet u almost gave up. But look at us Khaira, after a month, we adapt to each other eventually!

You as that tiny little person outside the womb. Ibu and Abi which life changed into parenthood in just one night. And with patience and time, we managed to find the middle point.

A month old Khaira at 3.9 kg

I hope in the future, u’ll always remember, if we survived this, we can survive everything insya Allah. At times u think u cannot go on, remember that u’re a strong person. Not a single cry during BCG, a minor cry during Hep B yesterday, you’ll survive, I have faith.

Much love, Ibu and Abi..

Mum vs Grandmum

My mum was being raised by her grandmother, I was raised by my grandmother while my mom was working and now Baby Khaira would be raised by her grandmother (my mom) when I'm away to work later.

Now since I'm in confinement under Mum's care, I pretty much get the idea of how Baby Khaira is going to be raised by my mum.

And of course, since Mum and I were totally on a different page, there were hiccups here and there. Like the fact how Mum babytalked all the time while Love and I treated Little Khaira as intelligent human being as possible. Or she held and sang to her for every single reasons possible; nak tido, nak buang air, hiccups, while Love and I would rather calmed her down inside her baby cot.

Gaahhhhh!! Tension ok sometimes!

Anyhow, I too was raised by my grandparents. I, too was being spoiled by my grandmum and many times I witnessed the arguments between Mum and Grandmum, funny it's happening to me now.

But to think about it again, I am REALLY glad that Grandmum was a BIG part of my life. I love her endlessly, she talked to me in ways a mum could never talked to her daughter.. She talked to me in ways I would listen. And I talked to her in ways she would listen.

And Mum, being a MOTHER has taught me all the disciplines I should learn. Though the gap between me and Mum were bigger than with my Grandmum, but I couldn't deny the fact that she shaped me to become the person I am today.

I might be spoiled by my Grandmum, but at the end of the day, both Mum and Grandmum were proud of who I am today. That is all that matters in the end, right?

And for that, I am more than happy that Little Khaira is going to have the right balance in her life. The love of a Grandmum and a Mother :)

Second stage of renovation!

Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah SWT.

The second stage of renovation for our home seems to be earlier than we thought it would be. Rezeki Khaira.

We decided to cement the outside of the house about a month before Khaira was born so that for her aqiqah, guests would feel more comfortable to makan2 there.

Ironically, after dad helped us find the best contractor, the work began on the day Little Khaira was born herself :)

So, this was our front porch before..

And this is after renovation..





The back of the house, before..



After renovation..



Costs us RM3200 altogether.

Our next plan is to put gutter and renovate the staircase. Insya Allah, next year :) Moga dipermudahkan. Ameen.

Video of Khaira Asyikin's hypnobirth

Pardon me for the lack of updates!!

I was in birth high these past couple of weeks. Remember when you first fell in love, nothing else seems to matter except for your loved ones. Masya Allah, that is kinda how it feels, such beautiful feeling puts me in cloud 9 all the time.

I am so in love with Little Khaira, words could not expressed how I feel. Owh.. WAHMs out there, I soooo envy you guys!

Anyways, video of Little Khaira's birth as promised!

Taken by Love, edited by Love with love..



Alhamdulillah, Dear Allah I could never thank you enough :)

The (hypno)birth of Khaira Asyikin

Little Khaira's EDD was on the 30th October 2011, but I had a feeling she would come out to this world a little earlier. I predicted she would come out on the 14th, Love predicted on the 16th.

But after our weekly check up on the 13th, doctor said baby had not yet engaged, it would take more than a week, I got disappointed. I could not wait to see our baby, so I did almost everything to get Little Khaira engaged. Squat, walk for 3kms, bouncing on gym ball, you name it..

So a day before the delivery, I took a slow walk along Taman TAR, about 3kms. I attended Baby Zara's aqiqah and Uniten's convo. At night, I felt some mild and yet a new sensation during my surge. I urinate even more frequently that night, almost once every 2 hours.

At 3am on 17th October, I went for a pee and already had a blood show. I woke Love up for second opinion, wore a pad and the blood show continued until we woke up at 6am. I asked Love, "Should we go to work today?"

Love asked, "Do you think Khaira will come out today?"

I said, "If you asked me, I think yes, she's ready to come out today."

So we decided to take a leave, mild surge like period pain came every now and then, surges were not yet regular, we could not even time them yet. Had a heavy breakfast and lunch because I felt REALLY hungry that day. Nesting instinct?

Love was really sick on that day, he had a throat infection that already infected his tummy. Went to a clinic to get his MC. I got a bit worried by then.

During lunch at 2pm (by this time Mum and Dad kept asking me to go to the hospital), the surge started to get regular. Around 5 minutes apart and each surge lasted for about 40seconds. I decided to stay at home as long as possible, so I took my gym ball and bouncing up and down until the surge got more frequent.

Then the surge started to get as long as 2 minutes for 2 more minutes apart. We packed our stuff and decided to take a slow drive to the hospital at about 3pm. Love stopped by a stall to get me some fresh coconut to keep my amniotic fluid sufficient so Little Khaira will be comfortable inside. So thoughtful.

As we arrived to the hospital at 4.30pm, waited for admission, the surge got stronger. I went inside the labor room at 5pm, midwife did the VE and I was sooo disappointed to know that I was only 3cms dilated by then. 3cms? How could that be possible. I thought I would at least be 7cms dilated by then. I was expected to deliver the next morning, argh!!

Midwife asked me whether I wanted to go home, or I wanted to be admitted, I said I wanted to be admitted to the ward because I had a feeling I was gonna birth at a near time.

Then after the 20minutes of annoying EFM where I couldn't move an inch to adjust my position so that surge would have less sensation, a doctor came to do the VE again. A new doctor, apparently our gynae was on leave. :( So all the birth plan that we were working for, sigh..

Anyway, it was about half an hour after the first VE, and I was already 6cms dilated! Theoretically, you'll be dilated 1 cm every hour. Alhamdulillah, theory is just a theory after all. So they said they expected me to give birth at 9pm today, I was already in labour, I had to stay inside the labour room.

I resisted all the pain relief. No epidural, no injections, no laughing gas, etc.

The pain which was then bearable, became way full of sensation at that time. Almost no gap in between. My source of strength is next beside me, Love was there throughout the delivery and he was everything and more than I could asked for. Alhamdulillah. I am so blessed. He helped me in ways even a healthy person would not be able to help. May Allah SWT bless you, Sayang.

Tried to bear, but at about 6.40pm, I felt a really strong sensation to breathe down. I asked Love to call the nurse. Midwife came and I asked her to check on me, she put on her glove and just about when she wanted to do the VE, I saw her reaction; surprised and started caling the doctors and the nurses.

"OMG. You were so quite!" The midwife said. Apparently, I was already fully dilated!!

With the first breath, baby's head already crowning. And at the fourth breath, Little Khaira was out to this world, not a single cry, eyes wide open at 6.55pm, 2.7kgs. Alhamdulillah :)









Love managed to capture the video of the birth, which I will upload in the near time. Don't worry, it's PG. You'll be surprised at how calm and how easy Little Khaira was born :) Thank you for all the prayers.

Updates:

Video of the birth can be found here.

My birth story has been published in Hypnobirthing Malaysia's website. Read it here.