Friday, May 14, 2010

I'm in NST!!

Haha. Just discover this!

A dreamer, doer and thinker..

When i received her message last two days, telling me that she might not be able to make it to ITEX 2010, I chose to not take it seriously. I knew her very well, and she wouldn't miss this important event, she's a wonderwoman.

Then yesterday, I received a short message telling me she "might not be able to make it, please prepare for the presentation." I thought, "Me? A presentation to impress the judges? That's too funny, better asked someone with Doctorate do it." Again, I chose to play dumb.

But later that evening, upon receiving the phone call from her that I started to feel like my world was upside down for a while. I just sat in the car for about 15 minutes with lots of thoughts going through my mind.

She said she's not coming. She was sick. The sickness was quite serious. Googling about her sickness doesn't make me feel better at all. She said she was so down, she did not feel like doing anything. And that there's no other person that is suitable to present the project but me, since I'm local. And she sounded very different from the person we knew, that I cried in the car.

I'm not crying because I need to present. I don't mind presenting. Although I didn't prepare anything. And I have less than 24 hours to prepare. I took that opportunity for me to shine, for me to challenge my intelligence.

I'm crying because I feel helpless. To not able to do anything to help a person who help builds who I am currently; the one you are proud of and even better the one she is proud of.

At night, the stress got even worse. The need to get a gold medal for her, as I see it's the only way for me to make her happy.

And in the morning, after calling to check up on her, and the whole way to KL Convention Centre thinking how dull would it be without her, I eventually got to the hall feeling a sense of emptiness all over me. We used to have so much fun in MTE, where she helped me to shine on my first exhibition, thus steal the gold medal.

Just about I put my phone in the locker, I received a message from her,

"Salam, sorry to put you thru this, but I know you'll be fine. I am trying to distress my nerves at home. Dr said that my nerves too work up and manifestating it on my leg. Anyway tqvm for giving ur best all this while. Tq."

Then, I stood up from where I sit, did my make up a bit, cheered myself up, took the judging criteria's note, go through the flow a few times, and when the judges came, I imagined how she would kill the presentation and impressed the judges, I did just as that.

And when I was done, all my project members ran to me, hugging me, "Impressive! Very confident! OMG they love you, Ikeen, the judges love you!"

I blurred for a while, and I quickly grab the phone, calling the woman who is already a part of me. My mentor. My supervisor. My project leader. My head of department. My inspiration.

This is for you.. And may we get that gold medal and may you recover very soon.

Thank you for everything. I love you, for everything you are. And I am proud to work under your department, a department that you called as the Department of dreamers, doers and thinkers.