Monday, December 12, 2016

The secrets of people who never get sick - A review

So I just finished reading this book.



Lemme just share the 25 secrets (not really secrets, peeps!)


Let's first talk about number 5, if you have been reading my blog for quite some times, you'd know that I've been having issues with Khaira's cough a while ago. Among the advises that I received to strengthen her lung is to have a cold shower every morning. To begin with, she started to use hot shower the moment she went to Kindy and when the coughing drama started.

Number 6 on detoxification, I've always had  a bad eczema growing up. I have no fingerprints, so I have special letter from JPN, but the hassle is unbelievable. Alhamdulillah, I'm used to it now. My eczema is almost gone since I detoxify myself and started to eat clean. Fasting is a way to detox as well. I did mine using juices back then. And still doing it every now and then.

Number 9, garlic with olive oil massage all over K's chest and feet helped eased up her cough as well.

Number 15, napping. Rasulullah's sunnah, peeps! My favourite!

And number 24, Vitamin C, K is on supplement at the moment until she is really stable. I used Transfer Factor and Champs.

She is on Goat's milk everyday now, and I found that she has been at her healthiest since she started Kindy, Alhamdulillah.

Overall, I am happy with this book. I rate it 3.5 over 5.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

The unexpected expected question

"My last question, as usual, why would you want to be a Chartered Engineer?"

Slap, on the face.

That was how I felt.

I stunned for a good 30 seconds, I guess.

I should have anticipated that question.

You know how sleepless my nights were preparing for the interview? You know how many articles I read? How many people I have asked about the interview? How long my list of anticipated questions and answers were? You just wouldn't believe the extend I went through for this one.

An hour interview prior to the question was smooth sailing with Allah's will, but this.

I stunned and I could feel my hands shaking. So, I hid them under the table.

"I was ignorant when I first started joining in IET," I could not believe that just came out of my mouth.

WHAT WAS I THINKING? Telling stories of my life to the panels??? Come on!

And I spent a good 3 minutes talking about how much I have learned since I became an IET member and I am sure there are lots more I could learn if I was given an opportunity to be a Chartered Engineer.

Here I am, for a PROFESSIONAL interview and I talk about "learning"?

Continuous learning and networking were my main points. What was I thinking???

"I could have answered it better," almost cried of frustration when I called hubs after the interview.

Frustrated of myself. So much.

"I should have anticipated that question. What was I thinking?" screamed. At the top of my lung. And I shut myself from everyone that day.

"Must be a reason why Allah SWT did not open your heart to anticipate that question, Sayang," Hubs calmed me down. "Were you honest when you answered the question just now?" He asked.

"Yes." That was my honest intention as of why I opt to get a Chartered Engineer.

"Your sincerity will get you through. Assuming you anticipated the question already, would you answer it the way you answered it just now?" He asked.

"No!"

I calmed down a bit.

And Love was right.

My sincerity did get me through.

And as usual, everything always happens for a reason.

Alhamdulillah, waiting for my registration number from the Engineering Council, and you'll be looking at a new CEng, yay!

Timing is so nice where my uni needs a professional engineer to stabilize the PE-student ratio for our EAC accreditation. It feels good to give back ♥

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Weaning off Lil Aisha!

I finally weaned off Lil Aisha at 2y 2m.

But the method I used is completely different with K. Read how I weaned off K here.

I had it easier with Khaira. But with Aisha, I've somehow forgotten to give her heads up earlier. Since my milk production was Alhamdulillah quite plenty with Aisha, I didn't really mind her being clingy with my milk all the time.

With Aisha, she didn't mind the taste of salt at all! *cries* (yup, i put salt there!)

Slow talk worked slowly with her, too slow for me, I needed to weaned her off pronto.

So, this tough mom put coffee for this tough baby and she hated the brown colour that the coffee was making and within 2 days, stopped completely. Alhamdulillah.

"Did you miss her clinging on to you?" Love asked.

Nope. Not at all. Without hesitant.

I mean, I cherished that two years, but not gonna miss it, nope.

My big girl is too cool for susu ibu already ♥

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Love's Master Convo Finalllyyyyyyyy!!!~

I remember Love started doing his Master back when I was pregnant with K. K is five now.

Guess what?

He finally graduateddddddd!!!! Alhamdulillah.

People said he had it easy for thesis because he has me to push him, tak jalan ok, he did not do anything for two years.. stuck at thesis. Tak dengar cakap this one, so.. noo, I hope he's not considering to do his PhD, otherwise the headache is on me ;p

To be fair, he has a hectic schedule at work. Nonetheless, he did awesomely well for coursework.




Jokes aside, congratulations Sayang!! I'm proud of you!

Remember how he proudly wore T-Shirt on my PhD and Master convocation years ago..




Look what I surprised him withhhhhh... Tadaaa

It says "Attending my Abi's Master Convo"

Much love, everyoneee!!!~

Monday, October 31, 2016

Baby girl turns 5!

Khaira's obsession to horses and ponies are getting way out of hand, hence the theme this year is obviously, "My Little Pony".


I ordered the cake from #shaeryscake and Shaery suggested me to use the actual figurines so K could use them as toys afterwards. Brilliant!



School has been tough these couple of months for her. Just about she got comfortable with her new teacher, Teacher Maria, she changed to another teacher, Teacher Omi, a guy. She is not comfortable with guys, so just imagine. On top of that, some of the teachers like to turn off the lights to silent the kids after class while waiting for the transport. Drama sekejap, but I must praise Genius Aulad they took my complaints seriously. Unlike the other kindy K used to go.

Anyhow, Happy Birthday my Princess!! Toddler years have been challenging as it is when K's immune system is developing, but Alhamdulillah, only with His will, it is all manageable and she got better and better as her immune system becomes stronger and stronger.

Be healthy baby girl so that you could do more to contribute to Islam. I love you to the moon and back!

Another year wiser

So I turned 31 a day before Inferno's first show in Malaysia.

Guess what I did?

Took a leave the next day and catch the very first show of Inferno, proud Dan Brown's fan here!

Date with handsome!

That morning of my birthday, Love surprised me with one huge bouquet of white roses on my driver's seat, preserved flowers that will not die. And so far it is still as fresh as when I received them!


My birthday, as usual was so fun!

Except that two days after my birthday, I had to leave the girls and Love for a three day team building at Janda Baik, and arrived home on K's birthday eve.


So sad to leave the girls, but the three days finally made me able to wean off little Aisha, one more wishlist to strike for 2016, woot! Alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah, for everything, seriously everything for 2016. My biggest challenge is that I've lost my Grandmother, but I know that she is in the BEST hand.

Monday, October 24, 2016

The inverted U curve: David and Goliath - Malcolm Gladwell

As a lecturer, I agree with the inverted u curve theory.

Many times we thought that the academic achievements of students get better with the lesser number of students in class.

Well, actually most of the time, it works this way:


I agree that there is an ideal number of how many students should be in a class, varying from one subject to the other.

I once taught just one student for postgraduate class, I have no motivation to come to the class to teach.

For me, 30 to 45 pax is the best crowd for undergraduate and 15 to 20 is just nice for postgraduate students. Like how Gladwell put it, "enough bodies in the room that no one person needs to feel vulnerable but everyone can feel important".

 Apparently, the inverted U curve does not happen only in the size of a class, but also in almost everything that we have seen in our life, including parenting.


For poor parents, it is always hard to tell the kids "No, we can't afford that" as well as it is hard for rich parents to say, "No, we won't be buying that".

"No, we won't be buying that" requires you to know how to articulate the kids and how to make them plausible to your kids.

Then, comes the Big Fish in a Little Pond Theory.

People have always wondered how I suddenly shine like this for both my Master and PhD to where I am now.

Truth is, I have always been slightly above average. I was an advanced reader by the age of 4, I was the best student in my primary school, I always got 100% for my Maths, but then I went to one of the best high schools in Malaysia, where everybody got 100% in Maths as well, so I'm just as ordinary as everyone else in the school. I am the small fish in a big pond back then.

But since not so many people my age, my school doing Master and PhD, suddenly I shine. They thought having PhD in Engineering before I reach 28 makes me a genius.

What they do not know is that my class monitor got his PhD by 27, in Engineering as well.

Here, I am a big fish in a little pond, so I shine.

And do you know that the happiest country have the highest suicide rate? It is not that these people are totally unhappy, but looking at others in their country that are happy all the time make them more miserable.

Also do you know that in CRT test, the students got better answers for difficult questions once they made the questions harder to read (small and terrible fonts) as it requires you to push your brain to use more resources to answer them.

And that what makes autism kids become genius sometimes, as they push their brain to use more; compensation learning they called.

So many more interesting facts, guys.. I rate this 4.5 over 5.


It is easy for me to agree with this concept as it is inline with what Islam taught us, to be moderate.

Too much of something is not enough,
But something coming over me to make me wonder,
Too much of nothing is just as tough,
I need to know the way to feel to keep me satisfied.
--Too Much, Spice Girls, ones I've held onto back when I was a rebellious teenager


Sunday, September 25, 2016

The Asyikins' 2016 birthday party

I can't believe it is almost a year since I last wrote about the girls' birthday party in 2015. Read the full story here.

Anyhow, this year we had another celebration for the girls and decided to have it at KFC again. But this time, a bigger KFC as we have bigger crowd. Last year was at Jusco Equine and this year at Jusco Seri Kembangan where they reserved the whole top floor for our guests.


Compared to 2015, I guess the organizer was better last year. And the packaged also has been reduced much more although price is still the same. Cake is no longer included in the package this year, so I had my SIL made one for the girls

Castle cake!
My princess Aisha was super excited about the party and has been practicing her Chicky Dance for days.


But during the party, this Lil Missy slept the wholeeee time! Balik baru kebuluran and excited Chicky Dance sorang2 (T_T) Kesian buah hati!

Khaira was one happy lady berlari non stop and sambung main sampai malam since my cousin dropped by at mom's after the party so her girl could play with my girls.


I can't stop thinking that it was just last year we had the party where my beloved Grandmother was still there. It was saddening, really. I kept thinking about it every now and then during the party, I tried my best to push it away.

And for that, it meant the world.. that my best friend in the whole world dropped by for our party although she had to travel alone with her two girls who were the same age as mine. One super lady, I could not imagine doing that on my own.

Only God knows how much I love these girls!

I read from iMuslim, a lesson on Gratitude from Surah Ibrahim.. I guess lemme just share it with you here..


You can't have patience until you have gratitude. Of course I wish my Grandmom was still there this year for the girls' birthday party, in fact I wish she is with me every day, every year.

But if I can't have that, truly I am very thankful for those around me.

Our relatives, most of them are there for the girls. My super busy uncle, even my Korean aunt all the way from Korea.


My SABians friends; the ones whom I know 14 years ago, whom with me through thick and thin.


Love's friends since kindy..


The parents had fun..


As well as obviously the kids..



 My girls obviously were psyched whether at KFC or lampi at home. Nonetheless, thank you EVERYONE (mentioned or not, in pics or not) obviously it matters to us. Perhaps the only time we get to meet nowadays. I hope this is not the last time all of us gather together.


Lots of love, Kapal and the Asyikins.

Al fatihah to arwah Grandmom.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Aisha turns 2!

Aisha turned 2 on 2nd August last month.

Alhamdulillah, forever thankful for her health and happiness.



We had a small celebration at home, where Khaira was so excited to make a cake for her sister.

I. DID. NOT. BAKE.

But, I would like to think that I'm a good mother hence I can read Khaira like a book.

So, I went to get a Japanese cheese cake for Aisha, some chocolate and sprinkles. I let Khaira pour the melted chocolate and decorate the sprinkles all over.

She was so proud of herself, I swear (>_<)V

Aisha was as usual one "happy" baby who went cranky when people sang her a happy birthday song.

Mood was haywire that day sebab tumbuh gigi geraham. I'm struggling to wean her off still, she didn't mind the salt technique guys! I should put some coffee tonight. Sigh..

But, my Buah Hati.. Happy Birthday, Sayang. I love you more and more everyday, you are so adorable, full of character. I can't wait for you to be big enough so we can have our date together just the two of us. I know you have been sharing everything your whole life, but do know that there is a special place in my heart belongs to just you, no sharing there, sweetheart. I love you forever.

Reminiscing..

I have finally finished reading both Nenek's books that she gave me.

The book about her written by her. It's like walking down the lane 50 years back, when I was not even born yet, but now everything is relatable,

I couldn't understand her first book much, because it is more to politics. I'm so not good in politics. But I kind of learned a lot there.



Nenek's second book that I read is about her journey to London and some times she spent there.




This opens up my eyes a lot, understanding Nenek's perspective when she travelled means the world to me. I always fond of travelling although I'm slowing down a bit now due to the kids. I always learn something new when I travelled, but Nenek learned about a whole lot of things.

The book was written 60 years ago. Funny how you could still relate the working mom's dilemma.



Al fatihah, Nek :) May you be among the pious.

...

Also, I have spent 6 months tying to finish up this one book, which I did not recommend at all. What a waste of my time (T_T)


Alright, there you go. Now I'm up to date with my review, yay!

A dose of happiness

At times when I need a dose of happiness, I seldom look for Andrew Matthews.

My favourite is "Happiness Now".

With Andrew Matthews, it is not just an ordinary lengthy self help. They are filled with cartoons and short stories that you are able to relate to. Highly recommended for those who doesn't fancy reading much.

I'm sharing you the 80/20 rules from Happiness Now that I found really therapeutic at times.





The saddest book of the century

I can't believe I'm so lagging in reviewing the books I read thus far.

Have you read "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini? Oh my goodness, this guys is a genius! Brilliant author, my current favourite, please read it peeps.



It's about a never ending friendship between a boy and his servant's son. Set up in Kabul, during Afghanistan war. The before, during and after effects of the war.

War is just the side story, actually. But for once, I got a deeper understanding on how our brothers and sisters got through their day in Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan, it's saddening.

It got me crying the whole time. A very good read, I rate this 5 over 5.

Please read this, peeps.




Monday, August 22, 2016

Muslimah hair salon - I found it!

My always "mostly read" post in my blog is the "Muslimah hair salon, please!"

I wrote that in 2012, and now it's 2016. It proves that many of us, Muslim women are still looking for the best hair salon for us.

I haven't been updating anything previously because I was still looking for one.

I have been in and out of Hairven, Math Equations, Dedaun Spa, etc. None. None made me stay. So for the past three years, it has been a battle. A constant battle of where.

I have a thick hair, straight at the root but wavy at the end. My previous stylist at Headkandee did a wonderful job in layering it so it won't look too thick and make me uncomfortable. But none. Just none after her. I switched from my 4 years hairstylist after I started to wear my headscarf.

Recently, I tried one and it is love at first sight, girls! Seriously, literally. I know this is the one that I'm gonna stay with for the longest time.




Capello by Nina in Bangi :)

Ain't it beautifullll??? Sorry didn't dare take too much picture, takut tercapture gambar girls without their head scarves here as this is strictly for women.

It has a place for your kids to play around as well. Not that I bring the girls for my "me" time. But just in case you have to, they even't play Boboboi for your kids so they won't distract you.

I had the senior stylist trimmed my hair for RM 53 and Moisture treatment for RM 96 for my first visit a week ago. I'm planning for another visit and hope to try the 02 treatment next :)

Also, obviously got the member card for RM 25, where it will give me 10% off for any of my visit after this including for my friends if they are with me. And on my birthday, 30% off of any treatment, How good is that????

Ohhh.. this is not a sponsored post, girls. I just share my findings, so no worries. I benefit none from my post.

Also just some updates from my previous post, Seputeh Kapas has been closed down some time ago.

So, since 2013, I have been going to Wain Health and Beauty Centre for my facial religiously. And Reborn for my massage. These two are the best, seriously.

But I'm looking for a good place for body scrub still. Been going to Dedaun Spa previously, but it closed down earlier this year as well. So, please suggest if you have any good ones. ladies!

Much love ♥!

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Purification of the Heart: Important notes from Mufti Ismail Menk

I listened to this talk by Mufti Menk just now while doing my work, just thought of sharing what I managed to digest. Mufti Menk's speech is always very near to my heart, and this one brought me to tears this morning.


  1. Purification of the heart begins when you start to find out the words of Allah. Hence, try to understand the meaning of your solat or surahs
  2. When you see someone that is doing a sin, make a doa for him. Praying for somebody to be better will make yourself a better person as well. "Ya Allah, please grant this man hidayah, and grant me hidayah as well"
  3. Patience: If it takes you 40 years to discover your Creator, don't expect people to be better in 4 minutes
  4. When somebody advises you, don't think that they are judging you. "Judge" and "Advice" are two different things
  5. Don't give sedekah something that is haraam, eg. short dress. 
  6. When you give someone something, you must know what it is.
  7. When you want to ask Allah SWT, ask for  1) Jannah 2) Purification of heart 3) Steadfast
  8. If you constantly repent, with the correct way, it will bring you to Allah swt and keep you away from sin. Eg. You istighfar always, then when you want to do sin, it will not go together.
  9. Sign that solah is done correctly: On time and worried about the next one. Sins will eradicate themselves.
  10. Things that avoid the purification of heart; 1) you do solat but you still do the sins such as pornography every night 2) Do sins when nobody is watching
  11. Solat/any ibadah without any other people knowing, purifies the heart. That is the link between you and Allah swt.
  12. Cry or even weep for repentance, that's the sign of purification of the heart

Power Parenting: Parenting Gaya Rasulullah - A review pt 5

PARENTING GAYA RASULULLAH
Fifth session: Ustazah Isfadiah


PENGASUHAN GAYA NABI
==================

nak jadi parent kena ada usaha utk jaga kesihatan diri

berusaha utk menjadi ibu yg baik.

kalau nak belajar dgn baik kena ajar diri sendiri.

Ustzh Isfadiah rapat dgn ayahnya.

Ustzh mengkaji santun cara nabi mendidik anak2.

Surah Ali Imran surah tema keluarga. watak imran tiada dlm surah tu. tp watak isteri imran diceritakan.

Surah luqman surah didikan anak2.

nabi yg cerita nya pasal anak2 sahaja iaitu nabi yaakub.

Allah tinggalkan byk model yg boleh dicontohi.

parent adalah satu jawatan tak boleh letak jawatan. jawatan seumur hidup.

Allah tak htr hanya AlQuran. tp hantar nabi utk demontrasi.

cara nabi adalah yg terbaik.
"Org yg paling baik antara kamu adalah org yg paling baik dgn ahli keluarganya.dan aku adalah terbaik dalam melayan ahli keluargaku."

Rasulullah adalah role model.

set minda anak.
skill bakat anak.

setiap hari 15 minit JOM AMAL refer buku 365 didik anak cara nabi.
buat bersama anak2.

#kupasan video 
#video 1-kanak2 sekolah jepun.
disiplin dan peraturan.
sediakan peraturan dlm rumah dan syura dgn suami/isteri.

#video 2 - 911 nanny
pengawasan/kepekaan
contoh teladan
fokus

#video 3 - kanak2 hisap rokok 40 btg setiap hari sejak 18 bulan
galakkan

#video 4 - calo
u are here not to survive, u are here to fight

Power Parenting: Aplikasi NLP dalam Parenting - A review pt 4

APLIKASI NLP DALAM PARENTING
Fourth Session: Hj Fadzli Yusof

Anak satu pelaburan.
melabur skim cepat kaya. mula2 je happy lepas tu...down.
begitu juga dgn anak.

surah al-luqman
tanggungjwb parent kpd anak2.
ajarlah anak ketika umur 7 tahun. pukul 10 tahun.
tggjwb parent ajar selama 3 tahun 5 kali sehari solat. setahun 800x utk solat. 10800x selama 3 tahun suruh anak solat.

bersabar didik anak. bersabar didik anak.

www.facebook.com/fadzliyusofpage

15 denda tanpa memukul anak.

5 emosi utama seorg anak
1. INGIN DITERIMA

oleh 2 org yg paling penting dalam hidup dirinya ibu dan bapa.
#malangnya sekrg anak diterima oleh kawan2.
tunjukkan bahawa kita kena terima anak kita. buat setiap hari.

aksi yg kita tak diterima
1. marah
2. tak tengok dia cakap
3. bandingkan
4. bapak tak tegur anak sebulan kerana dpt 8A1B

#ignotic noman.
gelombang otak mudah diproses.
-waktu pagi tgh mamai
-waktu nak tidur tgh mamai.
-emosi intent. sgt happy. sgt sedih.

becareful semasa cakap anak dlm keadaan ignotic.

cth. time tu kita ckp kenapa degil sgt ni.

kalau kita tny pertanyaan di saat ignotic sgt bahaya.

cth. beli byk coklat. faizal jgn mkn lagi. lps lunch baru mkn.
lepas tu faizal curi mkn.

kenapa suka kacau adik. sbb hari2 kacau adik.

dah kantoi mughalazoh.

skrip yg betul
+faizal bdk yg baik. faizal buat mcm ni sbb faizal lapar ye. minta maaf dgn mak.

2. INGIN DICINTAI.

Kalau nak mak sayang dapatkan 5A.
kalau nak coki coki sayang mak dulu.

jgn perjudikan kasih sayang. Jangan sesekali kasih sayang dgn condition.

ramai rockers berhijrah adalah dr latar blkg keluarga yg saling menyayangi.

u must keep loving your kids uncondiotionally.

sesungguhnya Allah sungguh gembira kepada hambaNya yang bertaubat.

Allah sayang kita lebih dr kita sayang anak.

3. INGIN DIIKTIRAF

4. BERASA PENTING

say hi waktu bangun pagi.

berckp dgn org yg kita syg dlm keaddn phone dihdpn.

berckp dgn org yg syg smbil pegang phone.

berckp dgn org yg syg sambil memandang phone.

forget phabby(tak tahu ejaan)

limitkan masa kalau biz online

grp wassap tak urgent. anak adalah sosial urgent.

bila dgn anak avoid phone.

malam tak perlu updt fb. schedule kan time updt.

kalau nak buat mlm mintak kebenaran anak.

5. BERASA BERDIKARI

anak nak jd mcm dewasa.

tugas parent. anak spt deposit acc. acc. pelaburan perlu deposit setiap hari. ia satu portfolio pelaburan.

SENI MEMUJI ANAK

memuji dgn intensiti emosi yg tinggi.

sentiasa puji anak at least sehari sekali.

5 komponen pujian
1. sebutkan kebaikan yg dia lakukan. sama ada ia adalah USAHA ataupun HASIL.

kalau anak remaja.
kalau sebut nama agak kliase
cth anak 17 thn melukis dengan cantik.
puji cantiknya nurul meluks
pujian impaks wow! cantiklah lukisan ni.nurul ni mmg pandai melukislah. tasik tu mcm basah. pokok mcm hidup.

2. perincikan USAHA atau HASIL itu kpd 3 perincian.

3. nyatakan perasaan anda terhadap apa yg berlakukan.
mak bangga, I am proud with you.

4. puji diri anak dgn label yg baik.
kreatif. bijak.

5. masukkan aksesori pujian
awesome, terbaik, good job

Power Parenting: Tip power parenting - A review pt 3

TIP POWER PARENTING
Third Session: Dr Tengku Asmadi

Education system di Malaysia tidak membongkar kemahiran anak-anak yg berbeza-beza.
cth : bila ada sebarisan haiwan monyet, gajah, ikan, anjing laut, penguin disuruh memanjat pokok. Dah tentu monyet tersengih lebar sbb mmg kemahiran dia memanjat. sedangkan haiwan lain tercengang je la dengan rasa kecewa.

- tengok kebolehan anak yang berbeza.

ASAS POWER PARENTING
💟agama
💟sahsiah
💟akademik
💟skil

💟AGAMA
Nak anak cemerlang
1. jaga waktu solat. solat awal waktu.
2. rajin baca al-quran.

-apabila anak rajin baca quran, anak jadi pintar.
-bila asas agama kukuh Insya Allah, rezeki murah.

Orang sekarang meminang tak tanya kerja apa. Mereka tanya boleh jd imam tak?

💟SAHSIAH
Sikap anak datang dari rumah
40% ibu bapa
60% guru, rakan, media

Jangan tonjolkan kelemahan kita depan anak.
cth: jgn kata negatif pun depan anak. spt merungut bila kita tak boleh buat sesuatu.
Hati2 apa kita buat. anak ikut.
Hati2 apa kita cakap. anak ikut.
Bila anak duduk sebelah kita. Dia tangkap/rekod apa yg dia nampak.
cth; bapa biasa suke ckp b*** bila sedang marah. terutamanya semasa memandu kereta bila ada kereta lain memotong. anak yang di sebelah tengok dan rekod. Itu yg dicakap nanti.

💟AKADEMIK
Hanya ada Akhlak baik, jujur, amanah tanpa ada ijazah boleh dapat kerja ke?
Boleh dengan berniaga.

Terima hakikat tak semua anak akademik ok.
Walaupun dia tak straight A di dunia, Insya Allah straight A di akhirat.
Jangan terlalu memaksa anak dapat A. sekadar kemampuan mereka.

💟SKILL
Orang ada skill boleh hidup.
Develop skill mereka spy mrk boleh cari rezeki.
cth tukang urut, goreng pisang, melukis, photographer.

Besarkan anak ikut zaman.
🚩Otak yg cerdik dlm usia 7 thn pertama. waktu ni beri pelbagai pendedahan.
🚩Perasaan ingin tahu anak-anak sangat kuat.
🚩Sekiranya dimarah bila mrk bertanya akan membantutkan perasaan ingin tahu mrk.

Statistik PDRM buat kajian anak yg lari dr rumah umur 15-19 thn.

sbb tu usia 8-14 ▶ kena tegas.
             usia 15-19▶ jadikan mrk kawan. tegur cara baik.

💟BEBELAN POSITIF
▶berfikir dalam bentuk gambaran.
▶gambar bentuk tingkah laku.

Otak kita akan hasilkan apa yg kita gambarkan.

Perkataan 'JANGAN' tak tergambar dalam otak.
Otak tak boleh gambarkan perkataan 'JANGAN'

Otak percaya sekiranya dilakukan berulang2.

4 PERKARA PERLU PROGRAM OTAK
1. Cadangkan
2. Unik
3. Berulang2.
4. Emotionally strong.

cth. bayangkan sebakul durian.
cuba jangan bayangkan sebakul durian

▶tentu nak bayang jugakkan sebakul durian tu.

iklan di tv contohnya mmg gunakan 4 perkara di atas.

cth.
1. Aimankan anak mak yg pandai. betul ke pandai (not important)
2. Unik kan.
3. Ulang cakap
4. Emosi - Aimankan anak mak yg baik ( walau dlm keadaan marah)

Beza bebelan +ve dan -ve

Bebelan -ve (IBU A)
1. Abang kenapa bersepah baju.
2. Abg dah pukul brp ni masih lepak lagi.

Bebelan +ve (IBU B)
1. Abg baju masukkan dalam bakul, please.
2. Abg masuk mandi, lepas ni nak solat.

Generasi sekarang
Dapat habuan dulu cth ipad tp makesure solat, homework siap.

Generasi dulu
buat dulu smpi siap baru dapat habuan.

Power Parenting: Parenting Tanpa Stress - A review pt 2

PARENTING TANPA STRES
Second Session: Prof. Dato Dr Muhaya

✅ Kita akan dapat apa yang kita niatkan.
✅ Sebelum buat apa-apa, perlu ada niat yang jelas.
✅ Sentiasa buat refleksi diri:
1) Fizikal
2) Mental
3) Spiritual
✅ Fokus untuk didik hati
✅ Jiwa kita yang tenang, anak-anak kita tenang.
✅ Anak adalah anugerah Allah yang diberi melalui kita.
✅ Amanah ibubapa untuk didik anak-anak menjadi:
1) Hamba Allah yang taat kepada Allah.
2) Khalifah (bagi kebaikan kepada manusia).
3) Buat apa-apa ikut syariat.

✅ Fokus dalam keluarga hanyalah:
1) Syurga
2) Neraka
3) Dosa
4) Pahala

✅ Tips 5-US
1) Niat mesti lurus
2) Ibadat mesti bagus
3) Hati mesti tulus
4) Usaha mesti telus
5) Taubat mesti terus

✅ Hanya orang yang cinta dunia akan stress. Orang kaya ialah orang yang rasa cukup (qanaah).
✅ Sentiasa zikrullah dalam hati (daripada duduk saja-saja tu).
✅ Perkataan dan perbuatan mempengaruhi tenaga kita (perkataan dan perbuatan baik=tenaga kuat, perbuatan dan perkataan negatif=tenaga lemah)
✅ Fokus on developing yourself (berjaya atau tidak bergantung kepada berapa banyak kita nak berubah)
✅ Formula: Peristiwa+Respon=Hasil Kehidupan (depend kepada how we respon kepada peristiwa yang berlaku).
✅ Untuk berubah, sebut 4 perkara:
1) Alhamdulillah saya gembira dan bersyukur
2) Apakah 1 fikiran negatif yang halang saya jadi baik?
3) Apakah tabiat negatif yang cegah saya jadi baik? Try to fight tabiat buruk
4) Apakah tindakan yang kita boleh buat untuk ubah tabiat negatif tersebut?
✅ Kalau anak tak dengar cakap kita, tanya diri kita. Kita dengar tak cakap anak-anak kita?
✅ Kita degil dengan Allah, anak-anak konfem degil dengan kita
✅ 3 peringkat didikan anak-anak:
1) 0-7 tahun: Give love. Bagi kasih sayang
2) 8-14 tahun: Disiplin
3) 15-21 tahun: Be friend
✅ Hargai anak kita
✅ Jika perkara negatif berlaku, taubat dulu. Mintak ampun dari Allah
✅ Ubah diri sendiri dulu. Untuk ubah apa yang kita dapat, ubah apa yang kita beri. Pernah bagi negatif, akan dpt negatif. Bagi yang baik, dapat yang baik-baik.
✅ KUALITI SOLAT menentukan KUALITI KEHIDUPAN

Nota: Sila share dan sebarkan. Semoga bermanfaat untuk semua.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Power Parenting: Paradigma ibu bapa positif - A review pt 1

Catching up with my blog, so anyway, couple of weeks ago Love and I attended a talk called "Power Parenting". It's an 8 to 5pm event, RM120 per pax with talks from 5 icons:

1) Dato' Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah
2) Prof. Dr. Muhaya
3) Dr. Tengku Asmadi
4) Fadzli Yusof
5) Ustazah Isfadiah

It was my first to Dato' Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah's talk, and he quickly became my favourite! Not only due to his contents but also presentation. So many things I've learned from him. Here are some notes, taken during the talk but not by me, but by my friends in the session.

I guess, since they already typed them nicely, might as well just optimize them kan? I asked for their permission beforehand by the way, so no worries. Semoga mereka mendapat pahala berpanjangan.

Oh btw, if you would like to ask me whether you should go or not, I would REALLY HIGHLY recommend this talk as it will be one of your best investment, trust me!



PARADIGMA IBU BAPA POSITIF
First Session: Dato' Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah

✅ Don't ever claim "I am ok/aku dah ok" sebab: manusia mula jadi jahat bila dia rasa dia baik.
✅ Untuk sebarang perubahan: kene byk bersyukur sebab sgt ramai org tak bersyukur.
✅ Tanda-tanda org yg bersyukur:
1) Patuh perintah Allah
2) Lakukan setiap perkara dgn terbaik (always do the best in everything you do)
3) Bantu org tanpa syarat
4) Doakan org lain (org yg doakan org lain tanpa org itu ketahui, malaikat akan aminkan doanya dan doakan mende yg sama utk dirinya)
5) Maafkan org lain

✅ Asas utama: buat baik kepada kedua ibu bapamu supaya anak-anak mu berbuat baik kepada mu.
✅ Do good things no matter what.
✅ Rutin harian parents sebagai "inspirer": memberi inspirasi & contoh yg baik kepada anak-anak (ransang anak-anak & bagi penjelasan).
✅ Before do anything, DOA. (Apa yang mak ayah ckp itu DOA. Apa yang mak ayah fikir itu DOA. Maka, cakap & fikir yang baik-baik sahaja).
✅ Nak ubah orang lain, ubah diri sendiri dulu.
✅ 40 hari tak masuk dalam majlis ilmu, hati jadi gelap (majlis ilmu nowadays dah luas & senang didapati. Cth tengok majlis ilmu di tv @ internet).
✅ Manusia ditegur oleh Allah melalui manusia lain. Jadi, jangan marah/kecil hati bila ditegur. Jangan kecil hati walaupun cara menegur itu kurang hikmah.
✅ Kenal diri (siapa kenal diri, dia kenal Tuhannya).
✅ Mak ayah jangan marah-marah waktu pagi. Boleh menjejaskan emosi anak sepanjang hari.
✅ Kenapa mak bapak baik-baik, tapi anak jahat/tak dengar kata?
1) duit/rezeki TAK berkat (zakat tak dikeluarkan dengan sempurna. Zakat pendapatan tak setel. Ramai org terlepas pandang zakat emas dan perak)
✅ Kenapa mak bapak tak hebat mana dari segi pendidikan dan lain-lain tapi dapat anak yang baik-baik/pandai etc?
1) Amalan mak bapak itu sendiri (sentiasa doakan yang baik-baik kepada anak-anak & selalu mengaji quran) : sebab doa mak bapak mustajab
✅ Menurut kajian, anak yang nakal semasa kecil akan jadi orang dewasa yang bijaksana.
✅ Allah temukan yang terbaik untuk kita. Apa yang Allah bagi tak pernah silap (cth: jodoh).
✅ Kenal diri,
1) Kelebihan (gilap dan guna kelebihan yang ada pada diri kita untuk berjaya)
2) Kelemahan diri (atasi kelemahan diri untuk tujuan memperbaiki diri).
✅ Jangan risau anak tak dengar cakap kita, risaulah yang anak tengok diri kita (sebab anak akan tiru apa yg dia nampak).
✅ Rutin mak ayah yang cemerlang:
1) Solat wajib 5 waktu diawal waktu, solat-solat sunat tak tinggal terutama witir (setiap malam, bkn ramadhan sahaja), solat sunat taubat sebelom tido (jangan tido sebelom solat taubat).
2) Istighfar 70x setiap hari
3) Suami isteri memaafkan sebelom tido
4) Murnikan hati dengan sentiasa zikir, istighfar & solat taubat (semua ni membuka pintu rezeki)
5) Maafkan semua org sebelom tido
6) Tido mengiring ke kanan, baca doa & 3 Qul (kalau kita buat ni sebelom tido, setiap saat kita tido dapat pahala)
✅ GAMBAR YANG JELAS ITU ADALAH DOA YANG PALING MAKBUL
✅ Cara belajar yang betol:
1) duduk di kerusi/meja study
2) mengadap kiblat
3) Baca doa & surah Al Insyirah
4) Sebelom belajar, doakan guru-guru

✅ Setiap arahan pada anak, perlu ada gambaran.
1) Contoh arahan yg SALAH : Makan elok-elok (tiada gambaran disini macam mana cara nak makan elok-elok & anak tak bole proses arahan tu sebab dia pon tak tau macam mana nak makan elok-elok)
2) Contoh arahan yang BETUL: Irsyad, Amna.. Nak makan duduk, pastu baca doa makan & makan pakai tangan kanan ye.. (Dari sini anak dapat gambarkan macam mana cara nak terima arahan sebab gambaran yang diberikan oleh mak ayah nya jelas).

✅ Cara didik anak lelaki: guna logik & terangkan kenapa boleh kenapa tak boleh
✅ Cara didik anak perempuan: guna emosi ( kasih sayang & pujian. Puji untuk tingkatkan aura positif anak.

✅ Bentuk matlamat yang JELAS dan bentuk MISI dalam keluarga (contoh: ayah nak anak ayah jaga solat diawal waktu & baca quran lepas solat.
✅ Anak-anak kita SEMUANYA hebat tetapi berbeza-beza.
✅ Waktu maghrib, jangan benarkan anak keluar rumah melepasi waktu Maghrib (pesan Nabi untuk kita berada didalam rumah diwaktu Maghrib).
✅ Baca quran (rumah yang dibaca kan al Quran didalamnya Allah bagi rahmat).
✅ Dalam rumahtangga kita, HARAMKAN perkataan Negatif.
✅ Ibu bapa berubah dulu sebelom nak ubah anak-anak.
✅ Sentiasa ingatkan anak-anak tentang ibadah.
✅ Sebelom masuk rumah:
1) Baca Bismillah+ Surah Al Ikhlas+ salam = orang-orang dalam rumah & jiran =kaya (Hadis Sahih).
✅ Cara nak cari hidayah & rahmat Allah: terima tetamu dengan ikhlas kerana tetamu membawa masuk 1000 hidayah & membawa balik 1000 maghfirah.
✅ Parents please: No gadget at home. Gadget adalah untuk merapatkan yang jauh. Jangan kerana gadget ia menjauhkan yang dekat. Pukul 9-11pm no gadget. Simpan dalam almari.

✅ Waktu yang paling jitu untuk nasihatkan anak-anak:
1) Sebelom tido
2) Nasihat semasa tido: luarbiasa hebat
3) 30 saat baru bangun tido
4) Selepas mandi (gelombang Alfa dikeluarkan oleh tubuh anak memberikan ketenangan kepada anak)
5) Selepas solat
6) Selepas mengaji quran
7) Selepas didoakan anak dengan (Al Fatihah, Ayat Kursi, Al Insyirah, Ayat 1-5 Surat Toha, surah Al Hasyr (lau anzalna hazal quran..)

✅ Jangan lupa bangun pagi doa "Allahumma inni asaluka ilman nafia wa rizqan toyyiba wa amalan mutaqobbala"
✅ Selalu baca doa elak malas dan sifat negative
✅ Sentiasa baca Bismillah 5 untuk perlindungan diri

Nota: Sila sebarkan ilmu ini. Semoga bermanfaat.


Wednesday, July 27, 2016

How He reminds me: My aftermath umrah story

Right after I arrived in Malaysia from Makkah, I missed the holy land so badly, I cried sometimes so horribly I almost couldn't breathe one time.

Then a month after, I received somewhat like an offer as a postdoc in a university in Jeddah, an hour away from Makkah, in an exact field I'm majoring right now, with triple the pay than what I received in my current university.

Was I excited? Not a word could describe it, and my supportive husband willing to let go his current job.

But, looking at my parents, I didn't have the heart. I came from a very conservative family in that sense, my mom never left us anywhere overnight. When I stayed in uni, my parents called me every night, seriously I promise, every night. And none of us have ever been away to boarding school or anything.

I couldn't imagine them being away from my girls.

Then, my husband got promoted and that was it. I knew I had to let it go, although husband insisted. He is at the peak of his career, and after all the provider of the family, thinking of prioritizing mine over him just kills me inside.

"Let's go again end of this year!" Love suggested, without the kids this time around.

Not now. Not when Aisha is still cranky having to sleep without me. Recently, I had to work outstation and she slept at 2am after crying inconsolably, poor mom.

Where my heart belongs :)


When I missed Makkah, I looked at the images in Google Map. The drone and 360 images help a lot.

A couple of days ago, I received a message.

An invitation.

To that particular university, may I remind you just an hour away from Masjidil Haraam.

On October, right after Hajj where you can only enter Makkah by invitation during that time. Imagine how empty Masjidil Haraam would be, not empty but you know what I mean..

Anddddd... the best part, I would be given business visa + umrah.

"Can I bring my spouse?" Was my first question. No need to think, this is Almighty's invitation ro me.

"No, because this is by invitation," was the reply I got. Sure would shatter by hub's heart, but I still want to go.

"How about my mahram, then?" I asked. "For umrah, how about my mahram?"

Anddddd... stuck. Now, I'm stuck with the mahram issue. Make lots of doa if this is meant for me, Allah swt would make everything easy for me.

Even if it's not meant for me this time around, He constantly reminds me of Makkah, masha Allah terharunya. *cries*


Monday, July 18, 2016

The kids' supporter

Now that Khaira all grown up, she made friends easily. Especially during Raya; mostly she could really click, but not always.

Aisha, well she would be minding her own business most of the time. That includes running and jumping non-stop, Mashaa Allah. I just kept on telling myself that sweating is good for her immune system, or else I'd go crazy.

As for Khaira, she lovesss to bring her toys everywhere. When I said toys; read: stones that she picked up outside my grandmother's house mcm tak pernah jumpa batu, extra straws she requested from kakak jual air kelapa mcm I tak belikan dia actual toys or even.. "kemuncup" (T_T) Her favourite somehow.

Ironically, these things are the ones that caused arguments between the kids her age. These kids also want that exact stone/straw/kemuncup, I couldn't even brain guys.

Back at my kampung in Bukit Melawati, Kuala Selangor.


Previously, I asked her to share.

Then, my mom said something that impacted me greatly. I rarely share stuff with anybody in my life. Had my own toys, own room, my own car, my own everything.

And here, I'm asking my girls to share.

My mom's reasoning is simple: so that each of us have a sense of belonging and to know that "NO" is a perfectly legitimate answer.

So, I tried to balance things out, but I don't quite sure how to do it. I guess when Khaira was playing with that something and other kids took that thing from her, I'd just observe for Khaira to fight for her stuff back so it won't get worse.. Else, I'd just ask her to lend it to her friends.

As of now, it works fine for me so I'm just gonna stick with the rules.

Plus I read something recently and realizing that, made me somehow a lot calmer.



Also worth sharing that, Maznah from www.maznahibrahim.com shared something with me recently that I thought worth sharing with all of us, mommies..

"Namun bahan penebat non material paling MAHAL, UTAMA dan PERCUMA, ialah diri Mak ayah sndiri. Kita adalah penebat emosi terbaik utk anak-anak rasa selesa ;) Maka, jadilah diri kita sendiri, seperti mahunya Allah untuk kita jadi Ibubapa Yang Baik, bukan Mahunya Masyarakat yang sesekali jumpa.  Bersederhana. (anak jumpa kita setiap hari, kita adalah sokongan dia. Untuk kita, Allah 365-24-7-60 dengan kita,  Allah bantu kita atau penebat kita)."

Have a wonderful Raya entertaining your little ones, your amanah everyone! :)


Monday, July 11, 2016

A wise man on a raya night

My Raya morning started off gloomy.

Then, I realized.. Alhamdulillah.. both my girls are healthy, so do my hubs and both our families. I am grateful for everything.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitry everyone. May Allah SWT accept our fast, prayers and all our ibadah. Please do forgive me for all my wrong doings, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

This year was my first to spend my first raya at my parents'. Normally would be in in-laws' (Ampang) the whole raya week since most of my aunts and uncles would be away, so I would just stay near late Grandmom's place at Kg Pandan just in case.

Also, this year was my first sleep over at Kuala Selangor, my other late Grandmom's house since I basically have nobody to take care of in Kg Pandan anymore.



Wouldn't it just last year you called me up, Mak, when I was in Kuala Selangor, asking if I would come back for the night, a reassurance that we will always be there for you?

Ahhh.. where do I in turn get the reassurance this year.. I miss you Mak.

Sad stories aside, I met a wonderful man that Raya night. One worth sharing with my readers.

13 years ago, an MD of Perodua made friend with my husband whom was working at O'Briens Cafe after SPM. He obviously did not have to, but being humble as he sincerely is, he did anyway (I'm far from MD, I wonder if I ever make friends with a waiter who serves me). And they remained very good friend ever since.

Well, he's retired now, after being a COO at Naza Kia. And he lives our dream life definitely. Now he rents an apartment in Tokyo; his most favorite city and would be back and forth from KL to Tokyo. You can tell that he's having one wonderful family around him. A very humble house and cars. A dream life, simply to put it.

Sometimes, when Love and I were so hectic with our work to earn a decent income for our family, we seldom asked ourselves, when will this stop? Both of us always try our best to be the best in everything, we have achieved so much so young but with one downside of course, we always need more time with the girls, with each other.

I mean, we saw one Datuk at 50 still needs to work to sustain his lifestyle, when will this end? Bigger income, but bigger house, bigger cars, and endless work like this still?



"One day, I gave an Omega watch to every employee I have in Perodua," the man in the picture with Love told us that night. "Everybody was happy.."

Of course, they should.

"Until they found out I gave one person a Rolex," this man answered our question so wisely as he already is.

We smiled. Such a strong analogy, this one :)

Dream family, dream life. Soon, inshaa Allah.

May Allah SWT grants us happiness always with whatever that we already have. May we have a humble life in shaa Allah.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Fragile

I broke down before my class this morning.

And after.

Then, I pissed off with everything.

I should have bought a flight ticket and fly somewhere far away for Raya. To make it worst, it will be such a long holiday break this time around.

I barely made it to Ramadhan without my Grandmom, and God knows how I'm gonna get through it for Raya.

Raya songs have never annoyed me this much, I have managed to get away from them all the time so far.

I haven't fully open myself up about Grandmom to anyone since she passed away, not even to husband as it makes me feel so fragile. 

Maybe talking about it makes it feel so surreal? I don't know.

All I know is that, I really REALLY need to get away from here for Raya.

Back to square one, I'm regressing. Started to think if I'll ever move on :(

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

My view on vaccination

So, I received quite a number of questions via WA or FB asking me whether I vaccinate my girls. Perhaps due to the fact that I am pro on natural birth and quite an organic junkie myself (so hippie).

The answer is yes, I have fully vaccinated both of my girls; all in the wajib list and am considering on doing pneumococcal as their additional vaccination.

Why I vaccinated them is simply because I haven't studied the pros and cons of vaccination, I am not well informed of them, so I opt for the norm.

A friend I knew through a homeschooling group recently asked, "If you trust in modern medications, ie. vaccinations, why did you do natural births then?"

Reason is, I studied a great deal on natural birth before I opted for it. I went to gentle birth classes, which was an eye opener. Read lots of books. Asked lots of experienced people. Of course, that doesn't make me a doctor, I mean a medical doctor. So, I sat down with my gynae and had a long discussion on my case. If you read my story on first birth, you knew how many time I changed gynae until I found one at a very last minutes, two weeks before I gave birth. Who agreed with my terms and conditions and advised me accordingly.

She gave me almost all of the things I wanted on my birthing list. In return, Allah SWT gave her what she wanted from me as well, a healthy low risk pregnant mummy. The gynae was so cool that for my second child, I gave birth in my baju rumah so leisurely. And even added that she suggested me to do homebirth for third baby where she will be sending an MO over.

My point is, we call somebody an expert for a reason. So, with mutual understanding, both of you will get what you want. Doctors are not monsters. They are moms just like us.

When Khaira had frequent cough last time and was always on antibiotics, I came clean to the paed if there's an alternative way I can go about without frequent consumption of antibiotics. I followed her advised and until now, Alhamdulillah Khaira recovered from cough without cough meds and antibiotics anymore, except one time when we got back from oversea. The paed prescribed a cough med and antibiotics after a year and I asked, "Is there any way I could avoid these? Will there be any side effects?"

And I hold on to what the dear paed told me, "It's a drug, of course mild side effects are probable. But, in this case, we have to weigh which one is more important: a mild probable side effect but high possibility that she'll get better or a high probability she'll get worse and no probability of mild side effect."

That clears the air enough for me. I trusted her judgement, because she is an expert in the matter way better than I am.

So, what's my view on those who did not vaccinate their kids?

It's your choice, really. Everyone wants to be the best mother to their child.

When I chose Khaira's previous kindy, I spent months looking for the best kindy because I only want what's best for my daughter. But, if you read my story before, you'd realize the irony: what I thought was best for her, really was not for her, perhaps the worst.

So, sometimes, what you thought is best for your kids, might not be the best for them.

I read that some refused to vaccinate their kids due to eczema. I have lived my entire life with eczema, I have no fingerprints due to that (Imagine my banking and travelling hassle), I used to wake up sneezing every morning until noon, the worst acne ugh!, and even nearly had blood transfusion due to antibiotics intolerant (I have recovered from my eczema after going organic and years of homeopathy treatment), trust me I thank my parents everyday for vaccinating me, because again the weighing down: I'd rather have my eczema, Alhamdulillah.

Then, there's an autism issue, which I dare not touch because like I said, I'm not an expert in the matter. But always come to the paed's point on weighing down the possibility.

If you have studied really thoroughly (I mean from classes, of course I don't trust Internet that much) and discussed with your gynae, if your baby really have intolerant towards vaccination, then who am I to judge? I hope by vaccinating my kids, yours will get the herd immunity.

But, I am having difficulties in understanding those who did not vaccinate their kids because "ikut sunnah", and these vaccinations are "agenda Yahudi". Amboi, sedapnya accusation, sekali fitnah nanti.

When I went to Umrah last time, I was supposed to have my menses a couple of days before I went there (wrong timing, unstable cycle due to breastfeeding), so I asked the Ustaz whether I should take a pill. I saw lots of doa to postpone your menses, can I depend just on them.

And the Ustaz said something that I will hold on into, "In Islam, we are thought to Usaha fist, then Tawakkal comes in".

Took the pill, and doa. All come from Allah swt, not the pills, but of course Allah SWT sees our usaha, even it is smaller than zahrah kan.

That is my thought on vaccination as well.

"Agenda Yahudi" is something lame for me. When I was in gentle birthing communities, some minor voices mentioned about the so called "Agenda Yahudi" as well. But, who knew if it's the other way around.

When people are so obsessed into something, they sometimes failed to look at it as a whole. Then, happen lotus birth and consumption of umbilical cord in Muslim. And claiming methods and meds from doctors are "agenda Yahudi".

Pening.

Oh, on my pills consumption story, after taking the pills, the probable side effects as mentioned by the doctor happened to me in Makkah, I had some spotting for couple of days which made me could not enter the Masjidil Haraam. Boy, was I sad? Let's put it this way, those times I could not enter Masjidil Haraam were the saddest days of my entire life, really. I cried until I got sick. The spotting stopped once I stopped consuming the pills.

Did I regret taking it?

I redha beacuse it is my Qadha' and Qadr.

So, for those who did not vaccinate their kids, if you are aware of the risks and okay with them, again I am in no position to judge you. So far, my friends yang tak vaccinate their kids pon have healthy kids, I trust juga Allah swt pelihara all the hamba yang have unshaken faith and always doa for their kids.

Jangan jadi lalang, follow without in depth knowledge. Ini yang buat orang marah.

Mutual agreement, agree to disagree. No need bashing in FB ok?

Monday, June 20, 2016

Mak..

I finally have a dream about my late Grandmother last night. It was in the month of Ramadhan, I hope she came and visit. I hope she received all my doa for her.

In my dream, I was as usual entertaining Mak. She was on a boat, on a river. So was Datuk. I took my boat and pulled Mak to the land. Then, I did that for others and fell asleep.

I was then being awaken by somebody. "Mak sakit!" she said. I realized, it has been too long since I woke up, scared by the thoughts that my Grandmother was sick at her home. Way too long, I miss her.

I quickly grabbed her medicine, she had a heart attack. And quickly recovered after she took her meds.

Then, in my dream, Mak said something she always told me when she was alive..

"Bila kakak takde, mak sakit.."

And with that, I woke up just before Subuh. Couldn't fall back to sleep.

God knows how much I miss her.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Updates on homeschooling the girls

Salam Ramadhan everyoneee!!

When I said homeschooling, don't get me wrong, I still send K and will send A to school. It's just that I treat the school as a place where Khaira revises what she first learned at home, not the other way around.

I haven't been updating their progress for quite a while, so here goes..

K is now in her 22nd Surah, As-Shams. In the morning, when I sent her to school, she would memorize 5 long surahs or 6 short surahs so that by Friday, she would be done revising all the 21 surahs she has memorized.

Starting from early this year, I gave her a page of revision book to be done in the evening. Either Malay, English, Math or Science, just to practice for her Standard 1 later on, that took her around 10 minutes max to get it done.

After Maghrib, I would teach her mengaji while she would memorize 1 ayat from the surah, then do 10 lines story book reading with her. According to days, I would either do English reading, spelling or math with her.

At the moment, no learning at all on weekends, I shall start next year.

Picnic at Grandmom's

I am honestly quite nervous for 2018, where K will be in Standard 1. The tahfiz school I intended to send Khaira earlier is changing her syllabus, no longer following government's. So, I'm looking for another school for her, which made me quite restless.

On top of that, HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THEY TAUGHT IN PRIMARY SCHOOL NOWADAYS?? I just saw it, and mannnn, I'm even more nervous now. Of course my priority is the Quran, but I'm not taking easy on other stuff as well. But at the same time, she is just a kid, so I let her play all she wants. And TV, because she learned a lot from that as well.

As for Aisha, this week I'm migrating from flashcard to Al Barqy. Make lots of doa for me in this Ramadhan ya, friends.

Have a blessed Ramadhan everyone! May we all be given the strength by the Almighty to be more istiqamah in educating our amanah. ♥

P/S: Kaps and I will be going to Power Parenting 30th July later, see you there lovelies!

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Hello Jobs!

My Note 2 suddenly went kaput :(

That one fine morning, I woke up, recited Quran using my Note 2 and after I was done, the phone became really really hot at the screen near the speaker area. I turned off to let it cool down, then I did not manage to turn it on again.

Motherboard gone, after nearly 4 years. Not bad at all.

At the second year, after OS update, it went crazy until I reformat, which made me swore to not using Android anymore.

At the third year, I lived with that annoying crack screen which affected my front camera, no more selfie.

Before it went kaput, it did not give me any problem at all. So, I contemplated to stay with Samsung or to change.

But, I always believe, the signs are given to me in many ways. My phone went kaput 3 days before iphone SE was released in Malaysia. What better signs do I need. I've always wanted an iphone, but chose Note 2 because of the Stylus previously. I'm done with Stylus.

So, on the 13th May, say hello to my new phone, after queuing up early in the morning at Machines, I got one in my favourite colour, rose gold. Then, I saw SE in Gold, I think it looks nicer (T_T)




Monday, May 23, 2016

Siblings love

I have always wanted a sister back then.

Somebody I can talk to, share stuff with, trust wholeheartedly.

I have two brothers instead; one 5 years younger, the other 7 years younger. Age gap, too far apart.

When I was blessed with two little girls, 3 years age different, I have always envied what they have.

An older sister whom always aware that whatever she does will be mimicked back, so she needs to behave.

A younger sister who looks upon so highly of the older sister that her second word she pronounced after "Bu" was "Kak". Always need to catch up with her older sister, so she needs to behave as well.

Recently, I have witnessed the dark sides of having a sister. And trying very hard to get the playback out of my system.

But, in every big event occurring in my life, it comes with a bigger lesson in it.

Siblings love.

That is what I need to teach my daughters from now on. That is my amanah.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah.

Monday, May 9, 2016

That 13 things by Tech Insider

I came across this article online: Science says parents of successful kids have these 13 things in common

I somehow found this very interesting as it is not generalizing as what most parenting articles did. So, I thought of sharing point number 1, 8, 9, 10, 12 and 13.

1. They make their kids do chores.
8. They're less stressed.
9. They value effort over avoiding failure.
10. The moms work.
12: They are 'authoritative' rather than 'authoritarian' or 'permissive.'
13: They teach 'grit.'

Actually, they are all inter related, I must say. Well, at least for me.

Here was my cycle back in Khaira's early days.

I am, as you know a working mom (Point 10). I did everything for my little girl, including literally feed her, put her clothes on, cleaning up her toys (Point 1). What did I become? A little bit stressed at the end of the day (Point 8). The reason I did that was because I didn't like the mess. The mess from her food when she ate by herself and her toys were not organized as what I wanted it to be (Point 9). And I became too tired to scold her (Point 12), so what did I achieve? A short term goal everytime (Point 13).

There I summed it all.

But it wasn't long until I have that wake up call.

Once we sent her to kindy at 3y2m, I learned my lesson the hardest way. She refused to eat on her own, didn't know how to clean herself after peeing, to conclude: she hated kindy, I hated sending her to kindy. Such evil cycle.

So, I slowly changed. And hoping to change further. Kaizen, continuous improvement,

I am still, as you know a working mom (Point 10). Hopefully, I will forever make full use of the short time I have with my daughters at the end of the day.

Now, I let my girls be independent. I let Aisha wore her own clothes now, fed herself most of the time, put her toys back in the box. (Point 1). I observed by doing so, the girls have better psychomotor skills.

The mess? Yeah, it is still causing me stress at times especially when PMS. I am still looking for ways to overcome this. (Point 8).

But perhaps (Point 9) could be my motivation. Valuing effort over failure, I must reallllllyyyyy try that. This morning I read a friend's sharing in Facebook which really hits me. She asked her 5yo son to clean the floor. The result? Very messy with water everywhere. If it was me, sudahku jadi singa betina. But, she acknowledged the effort, taught her son the right way to do it and gave him the same chores the next week and the following week and the following until her son became an expert in cleaning the floor. I must think of the 'grit'; the long term value (Point 13). Bersenang-senang kemudian.

To make her better, I guess, I must be more authoritative; in a good way. (Point 12) By understanding them, and direct them in a way they can listen. Must have Point 7 then: develop a relationship with their kids.

So many things to learn.

By the way, Point number 3 is that "They have high expectations." Guess it reminded me of who?

Yeah, both my parents. I have said so many times before not to be like that.

Now, I am considering.



K's sports day

Khaira's sports day fell on the same day as Mother's day this year. So did Persatuan Penduduk's meeting, lucky parents and I stay in the same taman, so Dad went on behalf of all of us.

Mom, parents in law and both my brothers were there for Khaira's Sports Day. She had so much fun! I couldn't be more thankful for the support she received from her loved ones.

Enjoy the photos! Not in blogging mode right now as dozens of works waiting back in the office.

She was surprised Jojo from Didi and Friends made a special appearance, so the kids went crayyy zyyy!!

With her biggest supporter

One blessed lady :)


Happy mothers day, lovelies!

We don't normally celebrate Mother's day, but this year Love bought mom and me telekung from Siti Khadijah. Wheeeeee!! :)


Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Oh my Aisha!

Last night, we were all on the bed ready to sleep when Aisha decided to hop down the bed cheekily.

I was tired by then and started to scold her.

She then took Khaira's telekung and sejadah, rukuk and sujud, then went up to the bed again. An act that she usually did with Love before they went to sleep, only that day, Love had performed his prayer earlier.



What a view. :)

In a mean time, enjoy Aisha's videos which I played again and again in my phone for weeks!

video


video

Monday, April 25, 2016

What a kid's painting tells us..

Khaira was so into drawing and painting these days. A trait, which unfortunately skipped a generation. Dad was really good at this artsy stuff.

So, my Dad was ecstatic with Khaira's fond in painting and drawing that he bought so many water colours, painting board, brushes, etc for her.

Each day, Khaira got better in drawing. One drawing that I fall in love with is me at work, teaching. I framed it.

A drawing of my 4yo

Most of the times, its just funny drawing as this..



I did not give it a second look when she first showed me.

But, the next morning, it hit me..

This picture is about her loss.

That week, a day after another, she lost something precious to her.

On Friday, her class teacher moved to a different kindy. Her name was Teacher Ezzah (She spelled it Iza), hence the girl with the letter 'iza' on top.

On Saturday, she woke up to feed her fish to discover her Flowerhorn was dead in the aquarium. Hence, the dead fish in the aquarium.

I did not talk about the drawing with her, neither did she. The following days, her mood was cranky. But we pampered her as we realized from her drawing that the two losses impacted her more than we thought.

The picture of the dead fish in an aquarium appeared in many of her drawings after that, it broke both our hearts to even capture the photo of them.

A few days after that, she was cranky as usual, got scolded just a bit by my parents, but she cried so bad, that I got up to her and hugged her, said to her, "It's no big deal, why are you crying so badly?" I consoled her, probing slowly.

"Khaira rindu Teacher Ezzah," and she broke into tears, finally. "Khaira nak jumpa Teacher Ezzah," she said.

Finally, something at first she couldn't express in words.

After she talked to me about it, her mood was as usual again.

But the incident hits me that children tell us stories in so many ways. In her drawings, in her lego bricks, in her paintings, in her moods. Simply because, they are not yet able to express it in words. And, we just need to look closely to listen to them, to connect to them.

Khaira, Aisha, I hope you know that I am always here should you need to tell me anything at all. I won't push you to tell, I might probe you a bit should you need that encouragement, but do know that I am always always here, ever ready to hear what you are going to throw at me.

Much love XXX.