Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Voucher and books :)

Sometimes, we complain for not getting anything.

And when we do get that something, we feel fishy about it.

Even worse, when we get something, we misuse that something.

So today.. I would just like to thank the governement for giving me this..

Ahamdulillah :)

Which an hour later turned into this..

Waaawawawa!!! Rambang mata di kedai buku.

And since sharing is caring, I bought something to everyone back at home too!!! I so love kedai buku, even though it's just KOOP Uniten. Haha!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Disciplining babies..

Yesterday at our house, Baby Khaira woke up all smiling and happy. So, we put her down and she played all by herself for a while while we cleaned the house. Then, she started crying.

So, I nursed her. She slept in my arms. Put her down. She cried.

Nursed her again. She slept. Put her down. She cried.

Passed to Love. Played with her. Laughed. Put her down. She cried.

This went on for the whole day, until around 7pm, she decided to sleep. And that was it.

My theory: She had a tummyache, she did not have a bowel movement for 3 days for the first time.

Love's theory: She always had someone to carry her everytime she cried, so she became spoiled.

I have to admit, Baby Khaira might be a bit spoiled. She is the first grandchild of both sides.

At my mum's house.

When she cried. My dad would pick her up. Cried again. Mom picked her up. Cried some more. Alif would rushed down from his room to pick her up. If he was not around, Hadi would be happy to cuddle her though in an awkward way.

At my in law's house.

She hardly cried. Because she was hardly by herself. Either in my MIL's arm or my SIL's arm.

Friends suggested us to just let her cry. Don't pick her up. Once she got tired, she would sleep on her own.

We decided to give it a try.

The first minute. Ok she'll stop.

Second. Now she's starting to slow down.

Third. Still crying, it's ok. She's gonna stop very soon.

Fourth minute. Let's wait a little bit more.

Fifth minute. Ok that was it!!! *And I started holding her*

Omaigodddd so harddd!!!

We tried a couple more time, but failed. I failed.

I just don't have the heart.

What running through my mind was..

The first minute. What if she falls asleep after tired of crying. My god!! I'm gonna feel guilty for the whole time that she sleeps, man!

Second. What if she chokes because of crying out too loud?

Third. What if too much air enters her stomach while crying and thus, colic? Poor baby..

Fourth minute. Even worse, what if she realized that whatever she demanded from the beginning couldn't be met? And she grow up as a child who would never want to demand anything because she knew we wouldn't meet it after all. Oh my God! What am I doing to my daughter's development.

Fifth minute. Ohh I have to pick her up! I must pick her up!

But seriously, if I don't pick her up everytime she wants me to, would she grow up as a child who would think I won't meet her needs?

I have a feeling that this is just temporary. That she'll be back to what she used to be very soon. And that it's too early to discipline her. That the more I meet her needs, the happier she'll become and the more independent she'll be.

However some part of me, wanted to discipline her so it would be easier for mum to take care of her.

But for that little girl to cry that long with me not doing anything just kills me :(

Sunday, January 15, 2012

That dream..

A lot of thing has changed from back then you were young..

From running hysterically greeting your dad at the door when he came home from work, to just say 'hye' while watching the tv.

From looking up at every single thing your mum did, to start complaining how perfectionist she is.

From always love following your parents everywhere, to suddenly have "better" things to do rather than attending the wedding of someone you barely knew.


And those dreams you have back then you were young..

"Someday, I'm gonna be an astronaut!"

Adult you: "Wrong!"

"After I become an astronaut and rich, I'm gonna buy mum and dad a house."

Adult you: "Wrong! (Dapat beli rumah untuk diri sendiri pon, dah bersyukur) Soon?"

Now that you're an adult, you find it funny, the things you did or said back when you were young. Funny, yet sooo very innocent. And you can't help thinking, when did it all stop?

When was the last time you waited for your dad at the front door?

When was the last time you looked up at your mom?

When was the last time you became psyched to follow your parents to a wedding?

When was the last time you got so optimistic and decided to buy something big for your parents?


But, lately I Love and I have the opportunity to give something back to our parents.

Love bought himself a new Alfa 146 :) (Part of the reason he bought an Alfa because his dad loves Alfa, and when he was young, he always wanted to buy an Alfa for his dad)

So, one item to be crossed off before i become a WAHM..

And he gave me his car.

And I gave my beloved car to my parents!! So, another item is crossed off.

I know it's not much, what I gave to my parents, or what Love gave to his Mum (he managed to give something to his mum too), but it's more of a dream, the thing you always wanted to do since you were small.

And by giving back to the parents, we believe it will all come back to us. Insya Allah.

Khaira in hanbok :)

I just wanna be with you.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Hello 2012!!

2012, I have a feeling it would be another awesome year for me with Baby Khaira by my side :)

I had a lot of fun in 2011.

Started my year having a braces and with the news that I was pregnant. Had our last honeymoon (just the two of us) in Korea, which was super awesome. Had a wonderful time delivering Baby Khaira via hypnobirth. Received the most thoughtful gift from Love -- life insurance. Renovate our house and move in by the end of the year. And we even have a part time maid to help us clean the house.

Blissful year. Alhamdulillah.

Yet to achieve another milestone though, to collect results for my PhD.

15% more work for me to come up with the result; I just need to find tune. I strongly think I could finish it since I took extra a couple of weeks leave. But, since Baby Khaira came to my life, I decided to take it slow and just enjoy my life with her. I have no regrets :) She's the only thing that can slow me down and yet make me smile!! :)

Bismillah, to another awesome year!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Back to school..

..or work.

Both are the same to me.

Started working today, and resuming my PhD.

Gosh, I already hate the traffic jams.

I already hate the annoying songs in the radio as I drive to work.

I already hate leaving her behind..

She's in my eyes, she's in my ears.
She's in my blood, she's in my tears.
I breathe love and see her everyday.
Even though my love is a world away.

My righteousness sure is crumbling :(