Sunday, September 29, 2013

Seminar Fiqh - Ibu Bapa Mithali - A review: Part 4

 Dr. Tengku Asmadi Tengku Mohamad: Mendidik Anak Cemerlang

Hye guys, pardon me for the longgg break.. I just got back from 3 days of being a housewife and 2 days of vacation in Cameron.

Anyhow, let me talk about Dr. Asmadi. He began his talk with the three things we left when we die:

1) Ilmu
2) Sedeqah
3) Doa from soleh/solehah child

He asked us to make the doa as our habit.

Dr. Asmadi once conducted a survey to around 1000 students during his motivational talk. He concluded that:
- 10% of students make their parents as their idol
- 15% of students make Rasulullah SAW as their idol
- 80% of students solat 5 times a day

So, he asked us to strive to introduce Allah SWT and Rasulullah SAW to our children. Eg. "You're such a good girl, Allah SWT loves a girl like this, so does Rasulullah SAW." Or when she did something that is nto good, "This is the behavious that Syaitan likes".

He reminded us not to say something bad about our children in front of them.

Dr. Tengku is a certified practitioner in NLP. So, most of the stuff he said are familiar to us.. the things we practiced everyday. Such as to say positive things when we want to scold our children and do it repetitively. It's okay to nag, as long as it is positive. 

He said, our behaviors (eg. blink of the eye) are controlled by the subconscious mind. And this subconscious mind and bad habit can be trained and programmed by using NLP.

The scariest part of all is that, whatever we did with high intensity will go straight to our subconscious mind. Love, anger, hate, annoyance.. Such strong emotions need to be taken care of to our children.

He asked us to also look of the character of our children before we treat them. Not every child behaves at their best when we talked to them nicely, and not every child feels motivated when we challenge them.

Time is against this last speaker, so he ended his talk with the list of things that we need to teach to our children according to its priority:
1) Religion
2) Personality and ethics
3) Academic
4) Skills

If time permits, in shaa Allah, BFF Sumayyah will continue about the 4th speaker that I missed in a different entry. :)

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Seminar Fiqh - Ibu Bapa Mithali - A review: Part 3

Dr. Nawwar Ariffin: Kesihatan Fizikal dan Mental Anak

This is the most exciting speaker of all! It was sooo exciting that Love approached him at then end of the talk to thank him for such enlightenment.

The content of the talk actually didn't relate that much to its title. Nonetheless, it is still super interesting, even without any handouts.

He said the biggest mistake us parents normally do is that we treat our children as a small adult. Example, when they play loudly in a friend's house, we'll become so mad and literally scream at them. We have to think the way they think and lower down ourselves to their thinking so we won't end up so mad. Then,we can be calm and advice them nicely.

Other than that, he also talked about equilibrium. In whatever we do to our child, there must be a balance. Time to study, time to play. But the best toys for the babies are the look of the face and the tone of voice of the parents.

He mentioned that it is sooo easy to take care of the physical and mental of our children. How? Go back to religion. That's it.

Dr. Nawwar also reminded us to tolerate in almost every aspects with the kids EXCEPT about studies.

Besides, we must always answer whatever our kids asked us. Even though it is vulgar. Otherwise, they will asked Mr. Google and it can get worse. I guess I have to equip myself with the answers from now.. Suspense! (T_T)

Dr. Nawwar's session is more of sharing his own experiences, the good and the bad and that what makes most of the participants able to relate to his talk. He told a story on how he once did something and how his son followed it. He learned that our children will always follow what we did; whether it's good or bad.

He also talked about how he promised his son something. And when he got back late at night from work, forgetting to buy that something, the son was already waiting for him looking for that something he promised. Then, he learned to keep his promise every single time.

He asked the fathers to analyze how many hours they spent with their children in a day. And for mothers, analyze the QUALITY time spent. Insafff...

For him, despite of his hectic schedule (he's the youngest orthopedics in Malaysia, top 10 nominees as the astronaut, served in Gaza and Palestine, owned a clinic for kids with free treatments, go imagine how busy), he made a point to send the sons to school everyday and pick a different topic everyday as a discussion with them.

He pointed out several issues that need to be stressed in parenting:
1. Parenting without direction
2. Knowledge deficiency
3. Manners and culture
4. Adulthood and pornography
5. Health and safety

He said, to tackle any issues, to answer any question, we must relate to the Almighty. For example if he asked, "Why is this flower red?" We can begin our reply with, "You know that Allah SWT is the ones who created this flower. It is red because..."

Most importantly, he taught us that what we give to the top must always be the same with what we give to the bottom. He never fails to remind us about our parents, especially our Mom. The ending of the talk was the most touching when he cried after being asked about his late father.

He comes from a family who is not doing that good financially (told us how his dad once cried for not being able to provide him money for his outing), but look at who he is now.. Suhanallah.. Such an inspiration. May Allah SWT bless this amazing soul and his parents whom just A.MA.ZING. :)



Monday, September 23, 2013

Seminar Fiqh - Ibu Bapa Mithali - A review: Part 2

Dr. Zaharuddin Abdul Rahman: Fiqh Pendidikan dan Perancangan Kewangan Anak

I really looked forward for Dr. Zaharuddin's talk on financial for the kids. The world nowadays I guess it's not easy to run away from riba', and definitely not hard either.

He started with something that put me at ease almost immediately. That when we taubat, Allah SWT will replace us with new flesh and blood. Yay! :)

Then he talked about nafkah and that the best sedeqah of all is to your family member because it is considered as sedeqah wasilah (sedeqah and enhancing the silaturrahim).

He also explained about Riba Qard. It means any additional benefits conditional on the grant of the principal loan amount. Conditions are made ​​at the beginning of the loan contract. It is charged by the lender to borrow. Examples: our car loan, home loan, etc.

The additional benefits do not mean only in terms of money, but other benefits such as "If I borrow you RM 10 now, you can return it back to me next year with RM 10 but you need to help me wash my car."

The best thing about Dr. Zaharuddin was that other than saying this is wrong, he provided us a solution too. So if you want to lend RM 10 to a person today, you can benchmark it with the price of other thing such as gold. When that person returns the money to you next year, it will be as according to the gold's price. If it increases, you can get that return. If otherwise, then you have to bear the loss. But it's okay, in shaa Allah, you will get the return in the hereafter. :)

He also listed a list of islamic banking, takaful insurans and multi level marketing which I will share at the end of the entry.

Also he talked about KWSP and ASB. I guess this is too heavy for people like me to talk about since I don't have any background in financing. This is why I would suggest you to attend his talk if you have a chance too.

For me, it is REALLY an eye opener. Those things we never cared before, you know. Okay, at least I never cared before. I checked to find out my home loan, car loan, car insurance all are not islamic. On top of that, I started my CIMB more than 10 years ago, when it was still called BCB. So, my monthly salary is credited to a conventional bank.

To be honest, I'm kind of at lost yesterday. But today, with new spirit, I planned to refinance everything. Al-Ghaffar, please forgive me for being ignorant.

The QnA was overwhelming. Some asked things like "What if I worked in a conventional bank?" He said, if you mampu, find another job. If otherwise, treat it as a place to gain the experience and knowledge. And, if you're not directly promoting people for conventional banking, should be okay.

Some asked about the health insurance provided by the company, what if it is not syariah compliance. He said, treat it is a gift from the company.

Some asked about stocks and he said ok!! Yay!! Out of topic, I just bought Air Asia!!

I have so many things to share about on Dr. Zaharuddin's talk, but I truly believe I should leave the matter of financial to the expert. And that's why again, I encourage all of you to attend his talk.

He said, islamic banking does not always assure you better profit in terms of money but in shaa Allah, better profit in jannah. I strongly agree. I always look at those children whose parents are just pesawah or penoreh getah who earned so little, yet their children can go to top universities and become so succesful (the story of the next speaker, wait for my entry), must be so berkat whatever they are earning.

I'm ready to lose a little if I need to refinance, but I pray these little efforts count by the Almighty.

When You guide us to it, You'll guide us through it, in shaa Allah.

Islamic banking
1. Bank Islam
2. Bank Mu'amallat
3. Affin Islamic Bank
4. RHB Islamic
5. Am Islamic Bank
6. Hong Leong Islamic
7. CIMB Islamic Bank
8. Maybank Islamic
9. Alliance Islamic
10. Eoncap Islamic
11. Public Islamic
12. Standard Chartered Saadiq
13. HSBC Amanah
14. OCBC Al-Amin
15. Kuwait Finance House
16. Asian Finance Bank
17. Al-Rajhi
18. Bank Rakyat
19. Agro

Insurance
1. Takaful Malaysia
2. Takaful Ikhlas
3. Etiqa Takaful
4. Prudential BSN Takaful
5. MAA Takaful
6. CIMB Aviva
7. Hong Leong Tokio Marine
8. HSBC Amanah Takaful
9. Great Eastern + Koperasi Angkatan Tentera Malaysia
10. AIA + Alliance Bank
11. Ambank + Friends Provident Group PLC
12. ING Public Bank + Public Islamic Bank

MLMs
1. HPA
2. Storm Leaders
3. Score A

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Seminar Fiqh - Ibu Bapa Mithali - A review: Part 1

Ever since I went to hypnobirthing class in 2011, I set in my mind to go to other classes at least once every year. Kaizen, as what the Japanese said, it means 'continuous learning'.

So, last year I went to Darwish Darwisya seminar. This year, I was hoping to enroll to the advance class, but so far, this year, they didn't open any yet. :(

Recently, BFF Sumayyah whatsapped us this pic..


Somehow, I was immediately hooked. I enrolled Love and I for the seminar, and to cut the story short, here I am, blogging about it to share with all of you with my cliche "Sharing is caring".

The fee is RM 120 per person; which was worth it. Start at 8am to 10pm (yep, you read that right!). The fee includes breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, so many free gifts consist of books and magazines and most importantly five amazing speakers which I will share the content of each speaker in each entry. 

Unfortunately, I can only have four entries, as I was not there for one of the speakers, simply because both Love and I could not relate to her. Also, because we haven't visited Nenek this month. (It has been 5 months and we miss her a lot, Al Fatihah..)

The venue of the event is at multi purpose hall in Menara TM. The hall was so-so, quite inconvenient to write anything actually since it has only simple chairs. But the facilities were convenient. The surau, the toilet, the nursery for parents who needed someone to take care of their children while attending the talk.

Picture above taken in Aussie, below from tempat wudhu' in TM. Way to go Malaysia!! I'm forever proud of u!

Which reminds me, I must thank my mom for taking care of my little ones and Love for being there with me although I know it's not his thing and he definitely needed his rest after his hectic week at work and his exam. Alhamdulillah, I must be blessed.

So let me share with you the content of the first speaker..

Ustaz Pahrol Juoi: Tanggungjawab Hakiki Ibu Bapa

This is actually the third time I went to his talk about parenting. I haven't found time to blog about the previous two; so I guess I'm gonna summarize all three talks here.

The gist of his talk is actually on the greatest cycle of the family.

Allah {-- Father {-- Mother {-- Children

Father is the leader in the family. Their task is to lead. They are the ones that determine the direction of the family. They must act as the hero for their children. They need to be scared and loved at the same time. 

Mother's task is to manage the family to get into the directions determined by the father. We, mothers need to bring the husband to another level, so our children will respect them. And our task is just to love, not to scare the children, that is the father's task.

And both mother and father need to ensure that the children love Allah SWT and Rasullulah SAW. Introduce them in their daily life.

Also, the most important thing in family is actually TRUST. Then, only comes love. I guess it's true. Once Mom told my Dad something I asked her not to, and when I found out about it, I haven't told my Mom anything important in my life for years. We must make the children trust in us, and so does the husband.

Ustaz also shared about the 7+7+7 concept, which I think we are familiar about it by now. I guess this picture summarizes it all..



Other than that, Ustaz said we must not pamper the children too much. Let them eat plain rice rice sometimes without any other dishes. Yang ni mestilah I don't have the heart to do so. :( Or let them sleep without mattress. And give them only the things they want; if we give them everything, we're spoiling them.

Also, he suggested to have an area in our home with books. That has been long taken care of since I'm a total bookworm.

But above all, one thing I learned the most in his talk is to take care of these three things with our children; their eat time, sleep time, and solat time. When we take care of these three, in shaa Allah, the rest are taking care of.

I think it is very true. My mom's OCD in timing, masya Allah.. it's killing me sometimes. It's time to mandi, time to makan, time to wake up, I'd be like, "Relax mom, it's weekend, biarlah Khaira bangun lambat sikit.."

But I guess if not because of her OCD, I wouldn't know how to manage my time as well as I am now; juggling PhD (no more, Alhamdulillah), mommy, employee, wife, and daughter at the same time.

It's funny what little things stick in our mind the most. I hope if you have a chance to go to his talk, go! Perhaps some things I did not share (cuz I think it's too small for me) might mean the world for you. :)


Monday, September 16, 2013

Khaira time!

Back when I was little, when I was the only child in the family (had my brother when I was 5), I used to have a lot of me time with my dad. Mom worked half a day on Saturday, so right after we sent mom to work, we would spend the morning in Taman Titiwangsa and afterwards had some brunch near mom's office, just the two of us.

I looked forward for this every single time. And up until now, it became that moment you always remember and treasure for your whole life :) I wish Khaira had one too.

So, last Saturday I had an invigilation to do. I was thrilled that Love decided to spend the time, just the two of them at Jusco. Was I worried to leave them? Of course. Reminded Love countless times to change her diaper and feed her. Not that I didn't trust him but mothers are like that I guess.. haha..

What's with the face?
My time with Khaira came yesterday. Brought her to KLCC park, met my friend, Kak Mawar there. We had so much fun!!!!


Of course, less than 2 hours later, Love surprised us at the park. Too much cases nowadays, he said it's worrying leaving only us girls. He had a point there though I wish I could spend time just the two of us, Khaira and I every week like this.

That is why they deserve this.. my utmost respect to every single mother in the world today.



Apart from pampering Little K, on Sunday, I pampered myself by catching up with my girlfriends after a while.



Look look, let's welcome the addition of this little one in the family!!

Mika Khaleel so handsome!!
Later that night, we went to Shary's wedding at Kelab Tasik Putrajaya and afterwards we brought Khaira to see the fireworks at PICC.



Such a splendid, tiring, fun weekend I love!!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

What I've been up to :)

Since I'm done with PhD, which makes me suddenly realized how light my head is, I started doing all the things that I wanted to do all these while.

One of them is cooking new things.

I cooked new things almost every week now.

Among them are sushi, puff and pizza. Can you believe it? :)

As what my friends told me and what I'm gonna tell you now, if I can do it, so can anybody else.

I am yet to master my cooking. I gave up on Pavlova after my fourth attempts that ended up pretty much looking like a crepe :( So, I'm gonna share these simple recipe with you guys, because it is sooooo simple!

Sushi rice



3 cups of rice
Quarter cup of vinegar or apple cider (or rice wine)
3 tablespoon of sugar
1 teaspoon of salt

Pour all the ingredients in the rice cooker and cook

Puff



Roti paratha instant (my fav is kawanku)
Sardine, tuna, or whatever you like to put inside puff, my fav is chicken and cheese

Cut the paratha into 3slices
Put in sardine/tuna/chicken inside
Bake it at 220 degree Celsius for 20 minutes

The pizza crust (per serving)



2 cups high protein flour
1 teaspoon yeast
1 teaspoon sugar
2 teaspoons olive oil
3/4 cup warm water

Combine everything and mix to a soft dough.
Then leave it for half an hour under warm towel so it can rise.
Knead gently for 1 minute.
Put topping on top. I used tomato puree, some cooked sausage+chicken+pepper+egg, mixed herbs and grated parmesan cheese.

Love is super happy with the cooking. Khaira loves the pizza. My colleagues too. So, it's a happy cycle yay!

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

My 40 days jurnal inspirasi

Recently, one of my colleagues went to Celik Momz seminar by Prof Muhaya. And up until today, I kind of regret of not going. I don't even think I have a solid reason of not going, simply ignorant at that time. Next year then in shaa Allah.

It was I guess a life changing experience for this colleague of mine. She introduced to us the '40 hari jurnal inspirsi diri' by Prof. Muhaya. Bought one and left them for almost two months with only 1 page written on it.

At first, I kind of thought it was silly, you know the journals. It has like 5 parts for you to fill in every day; on what you would like to be physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. I thought, 5 things to do a day were burdening, what more to add 5 new things for every day until day 40. I don't like setting a sky high targets that makes you stop jumping to reach it half way through.



Only recently, this friend of mine thought us how to use the journal.

It works actually for your subconscious mind.. You wrote everyday, for 40 days on what you want to achieve. The same thing, for 40 days. So it will stick to your mind that you have to do it.

For me, because I get that satisfaction of crossing things out of my list once I was done with it, I wrote things I want to do everyday for 40 days; and I crossed it everyday once I'm done with it. There were days when I was unable to cross that list, and it pressured me to try better the next day. So, I super love this book!!!

The hardest thing to do for me, was the "emotional" part. Mine was to be nice to Love for 40 days. And of course, in shaa Allah after day 40 it becomes a habit. I told Love hoping he would be flattered. However, he told me, "Ohh Sayang, I'm gonna make it really hard for you!"

He did.

He purposely make himself so lurus bendul just to annoy me. I couldn't stand lurus bendulness, so there were days I did not manage to cross that one out of my list. Once, he even let me drive his car to work without any road tax to prove a point that if you're not paranoid about it, you would't get caught. There I was screaming at the top of my lungs at the other line of the phone to him once he told me when I arrived safely at home.

Funny right, the people you thought would help you most. (T_T)

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Her fearful symmetry - The Review


I just finished reading the 400 pages of 'Her fearful symmetry', the first book I finished after PhD. Once, I stayed until 2am obsessing to get to the last page. So addictive.

I bought this book because of the author, I'm a big fan of the "Time Traveller's Wife". I found her writing to be very detail, helping my imagination much.

Anyhow, this story is about a twin, whom inherited an apartment from their aunt whom they never knew existed. The aunt was their mother's twin whom passed away due to leukemia. The condition is that they needed to stay in the apartment for a year without their parents, and after that they will inherit the rest of the properties of the aunt (happens to be quite a wealthy lady). Along the way, they discovered that they were being haunted by the aunt's ghost and some mysteries were revealed along the way. The story ended tragically, I love the twist in the end.

I rate this book 5 out of 5. Go read it if you have time! I bought it for RM 8 at Big Bad Wolf, and boy it's worth every cent.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Say whattt?? #3

Randomly asked Khaira, "Khaira dah besar nak jadi apa?" 

Her reply was, "Nak jadi Barney!" 

(T_T)

Of course Baby, every mom definitely wants their daughter to grow up as a purple dinosaur!!

...

Yesterday, we were in the car and it was raining outside. Suddenly with a very sad face, Khaira said, "Siaannnnn lorry.."

Bot Love and I were puzzled and asked her in an almost synchronized manner, "Why kesian lorry Khaira?"

"Kesian lorry kena hujan.." Sad face.