Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Khaira's Aqiqah + our housewarming


The most adorable


Alhamdulillah, we're done with Khaira's aqiqah. A very small ceremony attended by our family and close friends.


Khaira, Abi and my whole family were wearing gold. Me? This is the only baju kurung that can fit me at the moment. Tsk.. Tsk..


At the same time, we recited Yassin in our new house - where the event took place. Khaira was quite cranky during Yassin recital because she was hungry. I fed her, and she slept the whole time during marhaban.

Right after the event, we spent our first night at our new house, as a family. And hence I'm crossing the 8th item in my 2011's wishlist; move in to our new home.

We are yet to have internet in our new home. At the moment, I am in my office room. Not that I'm back to work, but I have some stuff to settle here. And I miss this little girl like mad.



Right after the event, my dad and Love did this to Khaira..



And she looked cuter than ever dengan kepala botak. Will update her picture soon!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Highlight

I remember how I was a bit reluctant when he first came to me and asked me to become his final year project (FYP) supervisor. I was about to have my maternity leave the second semester of his FYP, that would be tough.

But to turn a student down was not even an option. I took him anyway. He proved himself worthy when he did everything I asked. Not only that, he questioned back, pieces by pieces until he managed to put them in one big picture.

When you see yourself in another person, you would do everything under the sky to help him. His persistence, his patience, his curiosity.. just enlightened me and smothered me at the same time. Hehe. Imagine, he would call me at midnight to ask about his project, super funny!

Then, at the critical moment, there I was. I gave birth, I got confined, and I had a hard time juggling between a mother, a PhD student, a lecturer, a supervisor and a 'supervisee' (is there such a word?) at the same time.

He came over every now and then. We discussed through phone most of the time. How hard.. long distance supervising for someone as new as me, you wouldn't even want to imagine.

His last visit, we had a long serious discussion. I am sure happy with his technical ability. I was a proud supervisor when his paper got published in a conference. But his ability on selling his project worried me BIG time. Love helped me brainwashed him, spent an hour teaching him on his presentation skills; two days before his actual presentation.

And just about an hour ago, he called. Thanking Love and me because..

HE HAS JUST BEEN NOMINATED AS THE BEST FYP AWARD.

Alhamdulillah.

Just about I feel soooooo hard to go back to work.

To you, I'm proud of you :) This is the highlight of my supervising career.

To Love, what more can I say.. :)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Surviving confinemnt

Woottttt!! I survived the 44 days of confinement!! :)

I wouldn’t say it was an easy one. Not mentally, not physically. I’m done with 44 days of having to ikat rambut, having to wear long sleeves and kain batik all the time (masa pantang panas gile badan!), bertungku pagi and petang for the whole 44 days (believe it or not, i did that!), berpilis, berbarut, bertangas. Lagi the food!!! Haiyo, bosan!!!!!~

Alhamdulillah, I’m through all that. Though some things, I have to still do until hari ke 100. Such as no air sejuk, bertungku still everyday in certain parts and barut? Haha, now have to wear girdle siang and malam. For petite like me, the best girdle has got to be from Cosway. Makan masih jaga since I breastfeed Baby Khaira, but not as bad.



I haven’t yet go back to my pre pregnancy weight of 34kgs. Currently I am 35.8kgs. I don’t intend to get back to my old weight pon, I like the curves I have now. But still, could not help but being disappointed of the fact that most clothes still did not fit me :(

Finally, get out of the house after confinement. Visited my in laws!



Went to Shameem’s wedding at her house and at Hotel Istana. The grandest wedding I’ve ever attended!



Eh? Hijrah :)

Had to leave Baby Khaira behind most of the time we were out. My parents have a strict restriction on bringing Khaira to shopping malls until she’s 6 months old. Which is fine by Love and me because we want her to be less exposed to the outside environment for longest possible. But, I miss her all the time, 4 hours pon rasa cam nak nangis. Pelik sungguh. How to go to work like this, Khaira?

But the best thing about ending the confinement is that slowly, I can find tune on what’s work for Baby Khaira and what’s not. Alhamdulillah.

Baby Khaira pon dah pandai main! Last night, Love candid the most adorable photo of us, my current fav.



Saya sayang awak a lot, Khaira!

As of now, busy preparing to move in to our new house and busy preparing for Khaira’s Aqiqah. Again, to all WAHMs out there, semakin hari semakin cemburu!

P/S: I bought the fight ticket to Bali yesterday! Minggu ni fuel surcharge AirAsia murah!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The breastfeeding challenges

Only Allah SWT knows how challenging it is to breastfeed Baby Khaira.

The first three days, I did not manage to produce any milk. After three massage sessions, I fully breastfeed Baby Khaira on the fourth day of her life.

Unfortunately, Baby Khaira kept on having colic after I breasfed her. Tried experimenting with my diet and found out that she could not take lobak putih. So, I stopped eating lobak putih and she got better.

But then, my milk supply decreased. The confinement lady came again and found out that there was some clog. Massage again, Alhamdulillah the next morning, it got better.

After I stopped pumping since the milk supply decreased, I started again after the massage. But only to find out that there was no suction with the breast pump. Manufacturing defect. Took a week plus to service and they loaned us another pump, Modu. Sucks a lot!! The suction was so slow, took hours to express my breastmilk.

Then, I got a message in my blog from a reader saying it was not good to pump during the first 6 weeks. I took it as a sign. Takpelah, tak pump for a while. After all, I got about 12 bottles (60 ozs) of supply already.

So, last Saturday, Love dropped by at our new house.. where I stored my expressed brestmilk (EBM). And sangatlaaaaahhhh sedih, rumah black out. The 12 bottles of EBM? Rosak, dah masam.

Astaghfirullah.

Dugaan..

La yukallifullah hunafsan illawus 'aha.

Everytime I read the Ma'thurat, I paused at this part and cried.

"On no soul do Allah place a burden greater than it can bear."

Thursday, November 24, 2011

A decade together and another year older

21st Nov, 10 years ago, a best friend that was so dear to me proposed me to become his girlfriend.. And now, I'm his wife and the mother to our daughter, Baby Khaira!

On 22nd Nov was Love's 26th birthday. Whee!! We had moderate celebrations this year; for his and for mine compared to last year's celebration -> mine; his.

For mine, since it was 5 days before I gave birth to Khaira, we had a mini celebration at Little White Cafe , Bangi. Ooohhh.. The red velvet is to die for!

For his, since I was in confinement, I couldn't take him out to a fancy dinner. For a little surprise I decided to try Blooming and send over a box of chocolate for him at his office.



I am very satisfied with the service. The chocolate came at the right time and it was uber delicious! I chose Beryl's homemade chocolate, it was Oreo cookies inside with Beryl's chocolate outside. Love loves both the surprise and the taste of the chocolate. I am one happy customer, good job Blooming!



Later as he got home, I called for Domino's delivery and we had a mini celebration with my family. FYI, I did not eat any of the pizzas no matter how tempting it was. *Pat at the back* Am so proud with myself.


Happy birthday, Sayaaannngggggg!!!! I love you a lot. After confinement, we go celebrate ok!!! :)

Friday, November 18, 2011

One month old

Anakku Khaira,

Alhamdulillah.. U’re one month old today!

I will forever remember the moment I birth u. U cried a little just to announce ur presence to the world. And when the Dr. put u on my tummy, the first thing I realized was how large your eyes were.. The most beautifull!

During my whole pregnancy, I always pray for an easy delivery. Alhamdulillah, I got just that. But I took for granted to pray for my milk supply. And for the first 3 days of your life, we had to feed u with Mama Iza’s EBM + formula. God knows how it broke my heart. Thus my dear Khaira, don’t take for granted the power of doa. We are just His humble servants after all.

The first night we took you home, we slept at Nanny’s guest room downstairs. What started as a peaceful night turned out to be a chaos when u cried everytime we put u down. So abi and Ibu had to hold u the whole night, clueless on what to do.

The next day onwards, Nanny and Atuk decided to sleep in the living room, helping Abi and Ibu to take care of u. At times, Ayah Ngah and Busu came down to hold u in the middle of the night when u cried, so much love in the house for u. Nanny and Atuk taught us what to do when u cried and eventually u got better day by day. WE gor better day by day. When u grow up later, please do ALWAYS remember what Atuk, Nanny, Ayah Ngah and Busu did for u k.

Khaira, I never knew breastfeeding would be such a time consuming task. U were nursing every hour and sometimes up to 40 mins per nursing. I learned that breast milk are much easier to digest compared to cow’s milk. And that explains the every hour feeding, day and night and I never had a solid sleep more than 2 hours after u’re born.

You were having colic for the first 4 weeks of ur life. I tried to monitor everything I ate, and just about 3 days ago, I stopped eating lobak putih that was supposed to increase my milk supply, and finally ur tummy got better and better. Alhamdulillah.

Day after day, u started to nurse less frequently. Started to recover from ur mild jaundice. Started to learn how to burp and to adapt on day and night.

Ibu on the other hand, learned how to hold a fragile newborn, learned how to nuse u, how to burp u, how to calm u down..

Abi learned how to bath u, to change ur diapers, to swaddle u, to make u sleep..

Dear Khaira, the reason I’m writing this letter is not to whine, but to remind u of the hard times; the times I almost gave up, the times I bet u almost gave up. But look at us Khaira, after a month, we adapt to each other eventually!

You as that tiny little person outside the womb. Ibu and Abi which life changed into parenthood in just one night. And with patience and time, we managed to find the middle point.


A month old Khaira at 3.9 kg


I hope in the future, u’ll always remember, if we survived this, we can survive everything insya Allah. At times u think u cannot go on, remember that u’re a strong person. Not a single cry during BCG, a minor cry during Hep B yesterday, you’ll survive, I have faith.

Much love, Ibu and Abi..

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Mum vs Grandmum

My mum was being raised by her grandmother, I was raised by my grandmother while my mom was working and now Baby Khaira would be raised by her grandmother (my mom) when I'm away to work later.

Now since I'm in confinement under Mum's care, I pretty much get the idea of how Baby Khaira is going to be raised by my mum.

And of course, since Mum and I were totally on a different page, there were hiccups here and there. Like the fact how Mum babytalked all the time while Love and I treated Little Khaira as intelligent human being as possible. Or she held and sang to her for every single reasons possible; nak tido, nak buang air, hiccups, while Love and I would rather calmed her down inside her baby cot.

Gaahhhhh!! Tension ok sometimes!

Anyhow, I too was raised by my grandparents. I, too was being spoiled by my grandmum and many times I witnessed the arguments between Mum and Grandmum, funny it's happening to me now.

But to think about it again, I am REALLY glad that Grandmum was a BIG part of my life. I love her endlessly, she talked to me in ways a mum could never talked to her daughter.. She talked to me in ways I would listen. And I talked to her in ways she would listen.

And Mum, being a MOTHER has taught me all the disciplines I should learn. Though the gap between me and Mum were bigger than with my Grandmum, but I couldn't deny the fact that she shaped me to become the person I am today.

I might be spoiled by my Grandmum, but at the end of the day, both Mum and Grandmum were proud of who I am today. That is all that matters in the end, right?

And for that, I am more than happy that Little Khaira is going to have the right balance in her life. The love of a Grandmum and a Mother :)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Second stage of renovation!

Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah SWT.

The second stage of renovation for our home seems to be earlier than we thought it would be. Rezeki Khaira.

We decided to cement the outside of the house about a month before Khaira was born so that for her aqiqah, guests would feel more comfortable to makan2 there.

Ironically, after dad helped us find the best contractor, the work began on the day Little Khaira was born herself :)

So, this was our front porch before..

And this is after renovation..





The back of the house, before..



After renovation..



Costs us RM3200 altogether.

Our next plan is to put gutter and renovate the staircase. Insya Allah, next year :) Moga dipermudahkan. Ameen.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Video of Khaira Asyikin's hypnobirth

Pardon me for the lack of updates!!

I was in birth high these past couple of weeks. Remember when you first fell in love, nothing else seems to matter except for your loved ones. Masya Allah, that is kinda how it feels, such beautiful feeling puts me in cloud 9 all the time.

I am so in love with Little Khaira, words could not expressed how I feel. Owh.. WAHMs out there, I soooo envy you guys!

Anyways, video of Little Khaira's birth as promised!

Taken by Love, edited by Love with love..

video

Alhamdulillah, Dear Allah I could never thank you enough :)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The (hypno)birth of Khaira Asyikin

Little Khaira's EDD was on the 30th October 2011, but I had a feeling she would come out to this world a little earlier. I predicted she would come out on the 14th, Love predicted on the 16th.

But after our weekly check up on the 13th, doctor said baby had not yet engaged, it would take more than a week, I got disappointed. I could not wait to see our baby, so I did almost everything to get Little Khaira engaged. Squat, walk for 3kms, bouncing on gym ball, you name it..

So a day before the delivery, I took a slow walk along Taman TAR, about 3kms. I attended Baby Zara's aqiqah and Uniten's convo. At night, I felt some mild and yet a new sensation during my surge. I urinate even more frequently that night, almost once every 2 hours.

At 3am on 17th October, I went for a pee and already had a blood show. I woke Love up for second opinion, wore a pad and the blood show continued until we woke up at 6am. I asked Love, "Should we go to work today?"

Love asked, "Do you think Khaira will come out today?"

I said, "If you asked me, I think yes, she's ready to come out today."

So we decided to take a leave, mild surge like period pain came every now and then, surges were not yet regular, we could not even time them yet. Had a heavy breakfast and lunch because I felt REALLY hungry that day. Nesting instinct?

Love was really sick on that day, he had a throat infection that already infected his tummy. Went to a clinic to get his MC. I got a bit worried by then.

During lunch at 2pm (by this time Mum and Dad kept asking me to go to the hospital), the surge started to get regular. Around 5 minutes apart and each surge lasted for about 40seconds. I decided to stay at home as long as possible, so I took my gym ball and bouncing up and down until the surge got more frequent.

Then the surge started to get as long as 2 minutes for 2 more minutes apart. We packed our stuff and decided to take a slow drive to the hospital at about 3pm. Love stopped by a stall to get me some fresh coconut to keep my amniotic fluid sufficient so Little Khaira will be comfortable inside. So thoughtful.

As we arrived to the hospital at 4.30pm, waited for admission, the surge got stronger. I went inside the labor room at 5pm, midwife did the VE and I was sooo disappointed to know that I was only 3cms dilated by then. 3cms? How could that be possible. I thought I would at least be 7cms dilated by then. I was expected to deliver the next morning, argh!!

Midwife asked me whether I wanted to go home, or I wanted to be admitted, I said I wanted to be admitted to the ward because I had a feeling I was gonna birth at a near time.

Then after the 20minutes of annoying EFM where I couldn't move an inch to adjust my position so that surge would have less sensation, a doctor came to do the VE again. A new doctor, apparently our gynae was on leave. :( So all the birth plan that we were working for, sigh..

Anyway, it was about half an hour after the first VE, and I was already 6cms dilated! Theoretically, you'll be dilated 1 cm every hour. Alhamdulillah, theory is just a theory after all. So they said they expected me to give birth at 9pm today, I was already in labour, I had to stay inside the labour room.

I resisted all the pain relief. No epidural, no injections, no laughing gas, etc.

The pain which was then bearable, became way full of sensation at that time. Almost no gap in between. My source of strength is next beside me, Love was there throughout the delivery and he was everything and more than I could asked for. Alhamdulillah. I am so blessed. He helped me in ways even a healthy person would not be able to help. May Allah SWT bless you, Sayang.

Tried to bear, but at about 6.40pm, I felt a really strong sensation to breathe down. I asked Love to call the nurse. Midwife came and I asked her to check on me, she put on her glove and just about when she wanted to do the VE, I saw her reaction; surprised and started caling the doctors and the nurses.

"OMG. You were so quite!" The midwife said. Apparently, I was already fully dilated!!

With the first breath, baby's head already crowning. And at the fourth breath, Little Khaira was out to this world, not a single cry, eyes wide open at 6.55pm, 2.7kgs. Alhamdulillah :)









Love managed to capture the video of the birth, which I will upload in the near time. Don't worry, it's PG. You'll be surprised at how calm and how easy Little Khaira was born :) Thank you for all the prayers.

Updates:

Video of the birth can be found here.

My birth story has been published in Hypnobirthing Malaysia's website. Read it here.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Raya 2011 :)

Raya has been super fun for me.. Alhamdulillah, once again I had the chance to meet my 'life'..

And we have a new addition in my in law's family this year..

Kak Izrin! Missing in the pic, sister-in-law currently in Korea. But, she called me that Raya eve, so.. tadelaa sedih sangat.

Went to quite a lot of open houses this year. Among the most interesting one is Esan's open house. We were in the same Mandarin class back then, and we were HUGE fans of Upin Ipin. Was excited for his open house to meet his adorable daughter, Zafreen!!!

Finally, got the chance to bring Love over to my uncle's house; who owns some sort of farm.



Happy to see that Love and my family / cousins are getting closer and closer each day. My little cousin, Danish was excited upon seeing Love's new Liverpool jersey, he changed to his jersey too..



I got the chance to meet my friends from all over the world this Raya. Rezeki pregnant mummy, everyone got to see my tummy.

I'm glad I had the chance to meet BFF Qdin who came back to Malaysia for a couple of days during Raya.

Met Fai who came all the way from Aberdeen.

Met Go San, Love's friend from Japan.

Met my soulmates..

Catch breakfast with FJoe, whose sister-in-law just gave birth inside her car!!Btw, my new favourite breakfast spot has got to be Subang Ria!

Met my relatives a lotttt!! :) Just last weekend mum threw a small kenduri doa selamat for my delivery. My younger brother threw a surprise by sponsoring a birthday cake for me; a yummy carrot cake!

Aaahhhhh.. I miss Raya already. Raya haji tak besh! I'll be in confinement, tak dapat makan rendang, bwekk!!

Just so you know, I ate A LOT throughout Raya, from the first week of Raya until now, I gained consistently 1 kg each week.. Gemokkkk!!! So, if you're wondering how much I gained as of now, it's 12 kgs altogether ok. Benci. Maximum I can gain is 12 kgs. Dah max out!!!! Tamau makan Obimin lagi, gemokkk!!!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The things he did for us

Little Princess,

I just want you to know about some of the things Daddy sacrificed for us, even way before you were born..

1) During my morning sickness, he would bath me, feed me, massaged me, cleaned me up eveytime I vomited.

2) He went to Hypnobirthing class with me, minding the distance and the fees.

3) He was with me in EVERY monthly (and now weekly) check up; just to get a glance of you. And today, with the new gynae, we finally had the chance to see your face, and your tiny little fingers and toes. May Allah SWT bless our gynae.

4) He came up with brilliant brilliant slides of hypnobirthing for me to refer to.

5) He would monitor my foods, my drinks, what I should and should not eat. And Alhamdulillah, I am as healthy as a horse now.

6) He prayed for us everytime after prayers.

7) He cancelled a 12 hours concert (which ticket he already bought) that he so wanted to go, just for us.

8) He put his dream Alfa on hold, just for us.

9) He fight for the natural birth that I wanted.

10) And most importantly, he supports us both physically and mentally.

You're safe around him, Little Princess. WE are safe around him. He has so much love to provide us. Just when I thought he gave us enough, there are more and more love coming from him.

I can't thank you enough, Sayang. It's one of the many many days I feel so blessed having you as my husband, and most importantly having you as a father of our Little Princess :) 143.

Our new gynae :)

Alhamdulillah..

Introducing our new gynae..



Dr. Khamsiah Muda from An-Nur. She signed our birth plan, yay!!!

What a happy happy day knowing Little Princess will be delivered by a Muslim female doctor at a Pusat Rawatan Islam.

Alhamdulillah, as I said I have faith Allah SWT will help us along the way.

The appointment this morning was fruitful, smooth sailing, exciting, and calming. Dr. Khamsiah's direction is the same as us, to have as natural birth as possible.

I feel so blessed (T_T).

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

List of doctors that support hypnobirthing

I am in my 37 weeks of pregnancy, and after what took my previous gynae a month to study my birth plan, she rejected it without negotiation. How would you think it makes me feel?

I was crushed. I put a very high hope on her, I did not have any back up plan. My BIGGEST mistake.

So just a couple of weeks (or days maybe?) before my delivery, I felt as if I was at the end of the tunnel. Sad. Devastated.

Then I received a message from a friend of mine, Kdy, suggesting me to get the support from a gentle birthing group in facebook. I did so almost immediately, and asked them about my current situations and on what I should do.

The responses were overwhelming, I nearly cried. They were so supportive of my situations and it's calming to see that there are actually a lot of mothers that fight for their natural birth just the way I want mine to be.

You know how many times I got laughed at.. at the thought of having a homebirth. At the thought of resisting epidural. Even at the thought of having vaginal birth because of the size of my body. So. Not. Funny.

Anyways, here I am, sharing you the list of doctors that support natural birth in KL/Selangor area after being suggested by the very supportive mommies out there..

1) KPJ Damansara specialist - Dr. Maziah
2) An-Nur, Bangi - Dr. Khamsiah
3) Pantai Bangsar - Dr. Choong Kuo Hsiang, Dr. Wong Sum Keong
4) Gleneagles - Dr. Teresa Chow, Dr. Ravi, Dr. Jean Woo
5) Columbia Asia, Cheras - Dr. Haw
6) KPJ Seremban - Dr. Subramaniam
7) Sunway Medical - Dr. Wong Chin Yuan
8) Tropicana Medical Center - Dr. Dev Menon

Sedih.. satu orang je doktor Islam yang support natural birth? Sigh..

I'm currently fixing appointments to meet these mesmerizing gynaes. Pray for the best. And to everyone that helps me get through this hard time, may God bless you. They are all beyond repayment. THANK YOU.

I especially love this comment, "there is light at the end of the tunnel. when you want something so badly, the whole universe will conspire with you to achieve it, insyaAllah. so glad you found this group, asyikin. must just simply mean the universe is working with you to achieve the normal gentle birth for you and hub. :)"






Monday, October 3, 2011

The time I needed them most

No gossips.

No work related chats.

Just LOVE!

Thank you guys, such spontaneous plan (TQ Fiah!), but at the time I needed you guys the most.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Connected..

Dear Little Princess,

The moment I wrote you this letter, I was at the lowest point of my life since I have you in my tummy.

Our gynae finally made a decision about our birth plan.. She firmly rejected it without willing to negotiate even a little.

As you know Little Princess.. I want you to be born as natural as possible.. Now I even have the thought of birthing you at home with daddy. But, I'm not as courageous yet. So the best thing we can do, Little Princess, is to wait as long as possible at home. We must work together; you, me and daddy as a family.

Tell me when you're ready to see the world, then only we take a very slow drive to hospital ok.



If you decide it's best for you to birth in the car, daddy and I are totally ok with it. Whatever best for you. Whatever best for us, Dear God.

As for now, we have to be more connected k, tell me when you're ready.

We're doing this for a good cause Little Princess, Allah SWT will help us along the way. Just have faith.

IBW, with love.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Crossing off the 6th items of the year

Trust me, it's sooooooooooo hard to convince Mum of the fact that I want to get her a maid.

With Little Princess coming up, and I haven't yet used of having one super large tummy to even iron my own clothes comfortably, what more cleaning up my dusty room, I have no other options.

I want a maid for Mum to help her with housework when Little Princess pops out very soon. (She's been telling me that she'll take care of my children looongggg before I plan for one).

I know she is a superwoman already, but it wouldn't hurt to relax a little.. Now that Love and I afford to do so. (I have to thank Love for being so supportive mentally and financially ;p about the maid thingy!)

I decided to start slow. If full time maid seems way too hard for her, I decided to try with part time maid first.

Today is her first day with us. The moment I got home this evening, I was already super excited with the super duper clean house and ohh.. my room!! Lantai sangat licin!

And Mum? She seems happy.

I guess if you don't have that much time to help someone with something, the next best thing is to get someone else to do that something for her.

So, crossing off the 6th "To achieve list of the year". Three more to go, looking good, insya Allah. Ameen. I have faith.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

"By morning, you'll be gone.."

One of the quote from my super favourite movie of all time..



If you haven't yet watched the movie, it's about a woman named Clementine who underwent a procedure to erase her ex boyfriend, Joel from her memory after they broke up. Frustrated, Joel decided to do the same thing, but only to find out that as the memories faded away, he was still so much in love with her. Once they erased each other in their mind, somehow they had a history that neither remember and they met each other again at Montauk and fell in love all over again without knowing they were a couple back then.

Sweet gils! But almost impossible.

How could you erase something from your mind that easily?? I would be happy to erase every bad memories in my mind if there exist such procedure! Haha!!

One important thing I've learned in my Hypnobirthing class is how to let go of the past. Our subconcious mind works very much like a kid. All the memories that we have are like pages in books which we can tear and just burn the pages that we are not fond of.

I know I sound funny.

But I belived that Allah SWT gave us such powerful brain which we have the ability to control.

So, I have just teared every sigle not-so-beautiful memories I've had. And I feel so much in peace now.

Calmer but wiser :)

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Competent!

Alhamdulillah. 5 days of stressful training. Endless homeworks and reports. Sleepless nights going through with Love on the difference between "Lecturing" and "Training".

At last!! After I gave my training just now, my assessor finally said, with a wide smile, filled of satisfaction..

"COMPETENT! You've set a high standard for the rest of the participants!"

Wheee!! With such chaotic week, this has got to be the happiest day of my life this week.

And it will get better and better, I know.

Thank you, Sayang!!! You make it happen!! :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Name for Little Princess!!

The deal goes like this..

If she's a girl, I'm gonna pick the name for her.
If he's a boy, Love is gonna decide the name for him.

So, since this sweetheart is a girl, my first thought was "Yay! I can choose a name for her!"

After a while, I figured that this is tougher than what I thought!

Of course, we want the best name for our kids. But who are we to decide what is best for them?

The best I could do, is try my best to find a beautiful name for this Little Princess.

I have two rules in finding the name though:
1) It must be of TWO syllables; eg. NU.RUL.
2) It must be of a good meaning in ARABIC.

So, I googled for days weeks months, until I found a name that I fell in love so deeply with.

MYSHA.

Such a nice name right.



The website states that the origin is Arabic. Since most of my colleagues are Iraqi and since Dr. Sumay can converse a little in Arabic (Ameen!!), I asked around and it turned out that it is not Arabic at all!!!!

I got so disappointed and tried googling some more but I did not find a "WOW" name.

One day I decided to look up at my mum's room for a book she used when she decided to give me my name.

That was when I found a name I fell for. Checked with my friends and confirmed that it is an Arabic word. But was still a little reluctant because Love was more keen to give Little Princess the name of my late great grandmother.

Until last Friday, while reciting Surah At-Taubah, I stopped at verse 88 and found that particular name that I have decided in that verse.

The translation:

But the Messenger, and those who believe with him, strive and fight with their wealth and their persons: for them are (all) good things: and it is they who will prosper.



Sometimes, Allah SWT gives you a sign right in front of your eyes, but you don't even see it. This time around, I would like to think it's a sign, but wallahualam..

And here goes, we have a name for Little Princess.

Cepat sape nak teka!!

Ohhh.. anyway, I have a whiteroom photoshoot this Saturday! Yay!!

Look what we bought for the photoshoot.



Gahhh!!!! Comelnye dress budak perempuan sekarang! Baru faham perasaan BFF Maria ;p

Monday, September 19, 2011

Rebellious

When people accused you for something that you did not do, what would you do?

Some people just ignore..

Some people just give in..

Some people fight back..

Being rebellious, I normally just do whatever I've been accused of doing at the first place.

When I said I didn't do it, I didn't. If someone keep making accusation that I did it, well they're the one who asked for it ;p

They said the first child is always the rebellious one! (*Covering my whole perut so that Little Princess will not read this post*)

Always the quality that matters..

Manipulative.

That's the kind of person that I hate most.

If you think you could talk to me about MY friends behind their back, you obviously have no idea who I am.

And if you think I would talk about YOU behind my back, you are not even my friend to begin with.

I work as simple as that.

I have been living the past 25 years of my life without anyone manipulating me, I would be happy to continue doing so for the rest of my life..

JUST with those who believe in me as much as I believe in them.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Make an adjustment

Been busy with a cousin's wedding these past two weeks.

Last Saturday night was the groom's reception. But nope, I'm not here to talk about the beautiful wedding (the wedding was beautiful, btw) or the gorgeous bride (and the bride was stunning of course). I'm here to talk about the speech of the father of the bride.

Many times I either get bored or get all teary by the speeches during weddings.

But, this is the first time I found a wedding speech that is truly inspiring.

My uncle started his speech with how languages differ these days. Back then, he said 'gay' means 'happy', 'ass' means 'donkey', 'chick' means 'a newly hatched bird', 'cock' means a 'rooster' and 'straight' means 'a line that is not bent'.

But now, with the new technology and all, everything differs. Even his two year old grandson brings ipad everywhere he goes now. And the languages, of course differ.

In my uncle's visits to 25 high schools in KL, he asked the headmister/headmistress if they know the meaning of "LOL!"

Only 1 out of 25 knows the meaning of "LOL"..

We often thought teachers were the ones that can touch the heart of the youngsters better and here the reality sits in, they don't even speak the same languages.

So the moral of the uncle's speech to his son is to "Make an adjustment" to the son's kids when they have one later. It's going to be a different world apart, us and our kids, and we are the ones that need to make the adjustments to adapt to them.

And it hits me, really hard that the simple speech can actually make me cry.

How many times in my teaching life, I've been complaining of not understanding my student's emails or smses. Bigger things, their attitudes per say. And I kept on comparing how I was not treating my lecturer that way back in my studying life.

When the truth is, I am not willing to make any adjustment at all to actually reach them...

Little Princess, I will try to make an adjustment for you k, anything it takes. ♥

Monday, September 12, 2011

Cheer up!

It's the final week of the semester, and next week is the beginning of a new one.

Stuck in another annoying bearable training. Don't get me wrong. The trainer was ok, I guess I had the best trainer in the world back at home, so my expectations were kinda high. Such a 'happy' week to begin with.

Sigh..

As for now, quick update to cheer me up! I just wanna say..



Thank you Love, for the sweetest and the most thoughtful gift of all time.. No gift can ever come this close. You crossed one of my to achieve list 2011 :)

And that..

My current obsession..





Awww!! Aunty loves you a lot, little ones!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Who's paying?

I guess the most awkward moment on the first date/the first purchase after married is determining who's paying for that purchase.

Maybe not everyone seems to be particular about the matter. But, I did.

Does it make me materiallistic? You judge.

The first date is important for me to analyze a guy. And, as a gentleman, I think the guy should pay for the first date. The dates after, I prefer to take turns on paying.

Personally, I hate 'dutch'. For me it's either I'm paying or you're paying. And for me, 'dutch' seems like you're ignoring the concept of sharing from the very beginning.

As a woman, I love it when a man pampers me with gifts; just as much as I love pampering my man with gifts.

Does it make me materiallistic? Again, it is very subjective.

See, I come in a family where my dad surprises my mom with gifts every now and then when he's afford to do so. And vice versa. In our home, he has this principle of "Don't ask for something and don't wait until you're being asked." So everyone does what they should do, and everyone would be happy.

I found a man who is just like that.

The first year of our relationship, Love showered me with soft toys every monthsary.

Some people might think part of the reason I fell in love with him was because he pampered me that much.

But I fell in love with him because I saw the man that he was going to be. A very responsible husband in many aspects especially financially.

My prediction becomes true, Alhamdulillah.

And when you find a man like that, you no longer need him to splurge on you that much to show you he cares. You earn your own money by then after all. But being a gentleman, he'd still do that, anyway.

So my advise to women who are looking for serious relationship at this age, if he's not paying for the first date, MOVE ON! If you can't see the effort at the beginning of the relationship, what makes you think he puts an effort after you get married?

Just my 2 cents :)

Monday, September 5, 2011

Haji Shahrin Low @ Jalan Ampang

I loveeeee Chinese Muslim food!!

I have been wanting to try Haji Shahrin Low for quite some times. So, I was more than happy when Hashir decided to have break fast gathering at the restaurant this year! Last year was at CPK, blogged all about it here.

My first impression of the restaurant was that it was too small. And the service was so-so. BUT, the food was sooooo sedap and cheap!!



See the bills, for 13 people and we ate until sangat2 full together with the yummiest dessert (Chinese pancakes) cost us only RM25 per pax!!



I especially love the Tauhu Telur Masin and Telur Masin Kw. Tau Meow. Yummy!!

Picture of us at Haji Shahrin, tade group photo this year.. :(


With Love and Mr. Organizer, Hashir


Nadia, Aini and hubby.


Raihan, Fadh and Ieja. Ieja looks adorable with hijjab :)


Jep, Farah, Faiz and Shameem!

After break fast, we went to Tutti Frutti for desert. The first time we went there, it cost us a bomb. So, this year, belajar dari Shameem.. dah pandai ambil berpada2. Cost us only RM6.. Red Velvet + Death by Chocolate :)



Had funnnn!! Hope to see you guys next year with Little Princess around!!~

Friday, September 2, 2011

Preparing for labor :)

I seriously think it's too early to pack my hospital bag for labor. But Love didn't think so.

I love to prepare everything early, but this one kinda freaks me out. Haha! Mummy has not yet done my facial and my hair to meet you, Little Princess ;p Owh.. and the photoshoot. Don't even start with the mental preparation. Ugh!!!

Anyway, checklist for me..

♥ My birthplan (and a box of chocolate for the nurses)
♥ Toiletries (Dermalogica travel pack + tootbrush + toothpaste + listerine + shampoo + conditioner + deodorant)
♥ Nightgowns (perlu ke? Maybe I just bring some)
♥ My maternity pillow
♥ My small Quran
♥ Handphone charger
♥ Camera and charger
♥ My hypnobirthing materials
♥ Gym ball
♥ Socks
♥ Slippers
♥ Air zam zam and straw
♥ Maternity pads
♥ Disposable underwear
♥ Foods/snacks
♥ Undergarments
♥ Hospital pre registration paperwork
♥ Kain batik - TQ Kdy!
♥ Sweater - TQ Kdy!
♥ Breastpad - TQ Maria and Kdy!

Checklist for Love..
♥ Toiletries
♥ Clothes
♥ Comforter + pillows
♥ Extra cash (just in case)

Checklist for Little Princess..
♥ Long shirt and long pants
♥ Mittens and booties
♥ Receiving blanket
♥ Diapers
♥ Breast pump (just in case)
♥ Hats - TQ BFF Maria!
♥ Socks - TQ BFF Maria!

What else? What else? Help!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The best Ramadhan buffet 2011

I wonder what was I thinking when I decided to work on Friday the week of Raya.

Yup, I need to save my leave so that I can have longer holiday after birth. BUT, seriously.. no air cond?! And they were only FOUR cars at the parking lot including mine. FOUR! And there was not even a single technician on standby!

Seriously, I'm gonna bore myself to death. Thank God, there's internet Little Princess to keep me occupied.

Anyway, Ramadhan is over. Alhamdulillah. I had three different buffets for iftar this year. One at Kelab Darul Ehsan (KDE), one at Seoul Garden and another at Sime Darby Convention Center.

I blogged about Seoul Garden here.

Buffet in KDE was so-so. With the price of RM50 per pax, KDE served mostly Malay food. The normal Nasi beriyani and such, fried kuey teow, yong tau foo, and I guess the specialty was Lidah Lembu (erk?)


Nothing special for me except the fact that we had our first buka puasa of 2011 with my in law's family.

But the best Ramadhan buffet this year, or rather I would like to think the best buffet I ever had in my entire 26 years of life has got to be the one in Sime Darby Convention Centre.

The food was good and a lot of variety. From Malay food, to Nasi Arab, to Chinese Dim Sum, to Sushi, to Pasta, to the fanciest dessert, wahhh!!



The ambience was good, the music was relaxing, access to Surau was easy.

And the companion was the best part. :)

My brothers, Love, my BIL, my dad, my BIL's father in law, and my father in law.
 My MIL, my SIL's mother, my SIL, me and my mum. With the price of RM70 per pax (early bird is only RM50), this one is definitely worth it! :)

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Whee!!

I feel so happy and at bliss at the moment.

Met my gynae for the first time yesterday. Discussed about our birth plan and she said she would get back to us on 1st of October. Hopefully everything is ok with it because I like her the moment I met her :)

And Alhamdulillah, again, position of the baby is perfect, head down. Size is perfect for my body - 1.6 kgs. Despite of fasting, my membrane is just nice for Little Princess.

Oopsss!! Did i say Little Princess? Yes!! She decided it's time to tell us!!! She's a blessed healthy baby girl! It's worth the wait!! I'm a happy mummy to be, both Love and I were actually very looking forward for a girl!~

Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri dearest. Forgive me for all the wrong doings - if my writings hurt you in any ways at all.

Have a blissful Raya! I know I will cuz it's just my favourite day of the year!! What not to like, the yummiest food, I get to celebrate it with my lovely family once again, with the Love of my life and with our Little Princess inside my tummy!! Alhamdulillah :)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The first letter to my baby

Dearest Little Precious,

On the way to office today, I suddenly had the urge to write to you, as talking to you did not feel enough. And yes, I found it cheesy, but the only two people that I would be cheesy with in this whole wide world is you and Daddy. ;p

Anyway, I was not at the best of my health today. I am not sure whether it's the ordinary Braxton Hicks or you are giving me some funny positions again inside my tummy, but I am cherishing this moment. 2 months from now, I know I'm gonna miss the feeling of your tiny little hand/feet scratching the inside of my tummy when Daddy did so.

2 months from now, both of us need to work together for your birthing. I am so happy and really look forward for it! I have trust in you in ways I couldn't explain, it makes me feel so secure to go into labor. Probably because of all the vivid dreams about you throughout the pregnancy.

As for now, please be in the easiest position for me to birth you. I am going to take care of my food so that your size is perfect for my body. When you birth easily and I'm healthy, Insya Allah.. I can take better care of you. And Baby, please pray so that I can breastfeed you exclusively for at least 6 months.

We have so many plans involving you when you're around. We are going to go to Bali when you're 5 months old! Yay! Life outside the womb is such a happy place, LP.. And everyone is going to be so excited to meet you! So please, come out when the moment is right for you and come out safely and gently :)

IBW!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Gathering of the babies :)

BFF Maria and I used to work at Nando's Maluri for about 6 months after SPM, while waiting for our classes to start.

A lot of memories there.

Love used to wait for me for about 3 hours; waiting for me to have my break so that we could have lunch together, every week without fail, such a sweetheart.

Pedot used to come during my night shift and waited outside the restaurant just to catch things up.

And when Pedot suggested Nando's as our gathering place for break fast to "bring up the old memories", I was psyched!

Imagine how excited I was to see these gorgeous..



Amir and Umar.



Sofea.. *Melt*

It was fun because the rest of my circle of friends are not yet married, so hanging out with SABians gave me a different feeling since most of us either already having or expecting a baby.

And looking at BFF Maria just inspires me, kalau dah ada baby nanti I can still hang out with my friends without problem pon. BFF Maria did it ultimately well.

So, iftar next year, we need to find a more comfortable place. Nanti ada 4 strollers to put and one high chair to be booked for dearest Amir. Sorry, Uncle and Aunty lupe nak book a seat for Amir.

Some of the pics from yesterday's event..


Missing in the picture.. Ain who was busy taking care of Amir yang tengah mengamuk nak main musical car.



My fav. pic of the day..

Friday, August 19, 2011

Proposal defense

Alhamdulillah :)

I went to my viva presentation, eh silap.. proposal defense today with two main objectives:

1) To impress the examiners.
2) To be impressed by the examiners.


Bring it on! I'm half way there!

And i have achieved both :)

I am at the best of my mood today!! And even more excited to do my PhD, I have faith in my project, I'm just plain happy!!!!~

Happy to receive such brilliant suggestions from my examiners.

Happy to have two official supervisors that push me to the edge and pull me back the time I needed that.

And happy to have one unofficial supervisor who spent the night to go through my slides and my way of presentation in ways a teacher could have never done so.

I looked up to these 3 people equivalently much, though the unofficial ones has not yet hold a PhD or a Master degree, but the skills he taught me is beyond repayment.

Thank YOU..

simply for telling me that I have flaws. :)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Seoul Garden @ OU


Break fast at Seoul Garden, OU yesterday.

I tried Seoul Garden before, I didn't quite fancy the food there. I so much prefer Yuen's Steamboat, cheaper, yummier and better options.

But the company was superb and ok la, got grill also kan.. so RM47 per person was worth it.



I honestly think it's funny to name the restaurant Seoul Garden, makes you think it's a Korean dish kan. Haha! IT'S NOT!! Tak rasa Korean dish at all.

You wanna see the real Korean dish, I will update the pics next week since this Saturday MIL made Korean dish for break fast, wheeeee!!!! I can't wait!

Anyway, some pics with my dearest from yesterday's event..

With Myra, Nadrah and Iza Lyana.


Love with Hashir, AG, Hisham and Shariz.
My only one.
Hope this will be our tradition from now on. As compared to last year's break fast at Lala Chong, we missed Nonee this year :( but I hope we won't missed anyone else next year. Because I just heart each and everyone of ya! ;)