Sunday, August 6, 2017

Surviving Mycoplasma in Malaysia

With a very heavy heart, I'm pouring myself out in this post, with only one intention.. for those mothers who experienced / are experiencing the same situation as mine to know that you are not alone.

On April, I deactivated my Facebook, my Instagram and most importantly this blog that meant the world to me.. Because I was at the lowest point of my life.

Khaira started to have dry cough back in February, just in time when she was able to swim on her own. Thanks to multiple swimming classes she attended, to Love whom has been training her every week, she made very good progress. No float needed in adult's pool at the age of 5 and we were beaming with pride.

After a week of dry cough, the cough turned into wet coughs. I found the pattern to be weird as normally K would only have dry cough 3 days max, because the nebulizer, steaming and percussion that we did at least three times a day would help changed her dry cough to wet cough faster. After a few days of wet cough she always made full recovery.

A week after wet cough with no sign of recovery, we sent her to Dr. Nadhir. Two weeks after her cough changed from wet to slightly dry but no sign of recovery and again off to Dr. Nadhir. A week and no progress, I started to panic.

So I tried homeopathy as it usually worked for her and everyday of Sonotron. After every session of Sonotron, she would discharge lots of phlegms. She could spit her own phlegm at this time, but the phlegm seemed to be ongoing everytime and it scared me a lot.

In between homeopathy and Sonotron, we took blood test and chest xray, GP said she was okay, nothing to worry it could probably just asthma.

My instinct told me it was something else.

I made an appointment with a paed, the moment the doc saw the same xray from the GP's clinic, she showed me that fine thin line that separated K's upper lungs and lower lungs.

"Did she attend any swimming class?"

And the next statement followed.

"I suspected she has Mycoplasma pneumonia from her swimming pool," Paed said and the blood test confirmed.

2 antibiotics and a week later, things were the same. Came back to Paed and guess what, one of the antibiotics given by the Paed was under dosed. (T_T)

Before I knew it, K was warded. First time in her life. A day before my brother's wedding.

6 days of Rosephine + percussion everyday and neb 4 hourly to 6 hourly later, my girl was discharged with having to wear mask in public area. She got better and better Alhamdulillah. Aisha had Mycoplasma too, but because we detected it early, she made full recovery after three weeks with home care.

Me, on the other hand, during K's recovery, I went into depression. Maybe paranoid. Everyday I woke up, I feel at a dark place as if no doctors I could trust anymore. Between misdiagnosed and under dosage of antibiotics and everything that happened in between, I couldn't sleep. I thought of dark thoughts everytime I drove home to and back from work. I cried everyday.

One day it got so bad, I talked to Love and I said I wanted to talk to a psychiatrist. And I meant it. He was concerned and asked me to tell him everything, I did. And I felt better. I don't like talking about something that upsets me, perhaps I held too many feelings inside me it ate me. But I am myself now, Alhamdulillah, I can say I am 98% myself. :)

K on the other hand is making very good progress.

But Mycoplasma held tight to your cell, so every now and then, 4 months after, she still had a minor coughing fit.The rest of the days she would be ok. Doc always comforted me that they are good cough, you don't want to keep the bacteria inside. Only with productive cough the remaining of the dead bacteria are able to get out of the system.

She still on/off home nebulizer, still had her steam, percussion and physio everyday 4 months after.. But she made very good progress.

So mommies, they will recover with Allah's will. It is just a matter of time, have faith and be strong ok. You are not alone, I promise.Through the journey, remember that every tiny things we did matter to the Almighty.

"He who has done an atom's weight of good shall see it" - Al-Zalzala, ayat 7.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Aisha is 3!

You read that right! *sobs*

Both Love and I got a little bit more melancholy this time around. Maybe during the girls' previous birthdays, I was either pregnant or breastfeeding, so you know.. Just couldn't get over that tiring stage.

But now, I'm at my most comfortable stage. Happily raising up my girls and enjoying every second when suddenly, BAM! She's three. She's still a baby, sleeping on top of me at night, drinking her milk from bottle on my lap, how come she is 3??

*cries*



At 3, this precious finally have a daily routine of mengaji and hafazan though just 5 mins a day. She fluently memorized Al Fatihah and Al Ikhlas alongside with many other doas. Her terribble twos were over the past 2 months, she became more manageable and mature. Next year, she will start schooling *faint*

She is manja and full of character. Some of the funny things she said throughout the year that I still remember..

Scene #1: She insisted to eat on her own.
Me: Kalau tumpah nanti, kena gigit, faham?
Aisha: Faham, ibu!
Me: Kalau tumpah kena apa? (To check her understanding)
Aisha: Kena baju! (T_T)

Scene #2: My mom scolded her for pulling Khaira's hair
Mom: Kalau Aisha buat lagi, Nanny kurung dalam store. Ada cicak, lipas apa semua dalam tu. (Really angry tone)
Aisha: Tikus ada? (Fascinated) Tikus ada tak Nanny? (Kept on asking until my mom answered)

Scene #3: She is obsessed with a Korean cartoon called Larva
Aisha: When I grow up, I want to be a Larva
Me: Kenapa nak jadi Larva, Larva tu kan ulat
Aisha: Larva tu bantal peluk lah!

Most of the time, it is hard to scold this one.

A couple of days ago, Love and I heard this song on Spotify which brings back all the good memories, a song I kept on repeat when I was pregnant with Aisha. We called it the "Aisha song".

Aisha Asyikin, if you read this one day, I am so thankful to have you in my life. You are a prayer comes true. Alhamdulillah, thanks to the Almighty for giving you excellent health and intelligent mind. I hope you grow up knowing that Ibu, Abi, Kakak Khaira love you so much until eternity. And at the time being, this song sums up my feeling towards you, my Love.

...

Mindy Gledhill - All about the heart

I don't mind your odd behavior
It's the very thing I love
If you were an ice cream flavor
You would be my favorite one

My imagination sees you
Like a painting by Van Gogh
Starry nights and bright sunflowers
Follow you where you may go

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart

You're a butterfly held captive
Small and safe in your cocoon
Go on you can take your time
Time is said to heal all wounds

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart

Like a lock without a key
Like a mystery without a clue
There is no me if I cannot have you

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart