Monday, September 24, 2012

My parenting vs your parenting

After about a year nursing Spiderbaby, I guess nursing has become very natural to me. Alhamdulillah. I am forever grateful as I remember how hard it was for me, that first couple of weeks when Khaira was born. I always believe that everything happens for a reason though, and after a year I finally understand why my breastfeeding journey started off so.

In the environment where I live, breastfeeding has been a norm. Everyone that I know in my office breastfeeds. Even before I got married, in every conference that we went, they would bring two large bags, one for their laptop and the other for their breast pump. And I would observe with amazement of how this magnificent machine works.

I admired their determination. In my mind back then was that, my baby had to be breastfeed. There is no alternative way. Back then, I had a perception that those who did not breastfeed were either ignorant or plain lazy. Little did I know the challenges of breastfeeding. And how much determination it takes. I learned, not in an easy way, but owh well.. if that's the price I have to pay, Alhamdulillah :)

When my EBM's stock spoilt due to power disruption in our house, my heart broke into million pieces. At a sight of seeing random friends posted their dozens of bottles of EBM in the freezer made me numb.

"We have to always look back at the purpose of why we breastfeed," my pumping buddy once told me. "Is it to give the best to our baby? Or more of for show? We don't want the good 'niat' at first changed to 'riak'." I took that advice to heart.

A little reminder to self and to all mommies, and so we breastfeed our baby, yes. And give her the healthiest food we thought we could. And the best stimulating toys. Even the best educations. And we attended the best parenting courses. How sure are we that our child would turn up as the best? And is our best equivalent to other people's definition of best?

Having one healthy happy baby doesn't give the right for us to condemn other people's method of parenting. Whether she wants to breastfeed her child or not or whether she wants to dress her child in high heels or etc.

There's a fine line between 'condemning' and 'advising'. And between 'showing off' and 'motivating'.

May we be on the better side of the lines. :)


Anonymous said...

Hi Dr. Ikeen,

I am new mom and I just wanted to ask, do you take any supplement to maintain breast milk production? Or do you rely only on strict pumping session? What breast pump do you use? Do you recommend it? And how do you teach your baby to latch on directly and using bottle? Because my baby is refusing bottle. Or is your baby bottle feeding only? Thanks in advance.

-New mom needs help-

Dr. Ikeen said...


Okay my answers would be:

1.Do you take any supplement to maintain breast milk production?
When my production is less encouraging, I occasionally took Galacta, bought from SusuIbu. But not everyday, just when it's low.

2. Or do you rely only on strict pumping session?
I pump three times a day, but when it is less encouraging, I power pump.

3. What breast pump do you use?
I use Spectra 3.

4. Do you recommend it?
No, not really. :(

5. And how do you teach your baby to latch on directly and using bottle?
Latch directly doesn't need training I guess. Using bottle, yes, needs a little training, we changed teats after teats, at first might refused. Some days also out of nowhere refused. But eventually, when we were not with her, she just had to drink using bottle, so, hehe. Surviving.

6. Or is your baby bottle feeding only?
She only bottle feed when I'm not around. I don't suggest bottle feeding only because pumping doesn't stimulate as baby does.

All the best dear, breastfeeding will be your second nature before you know it. The most important thing is, please cherish it.

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