Dear Khaira Asyikin,
You're a big girl now! At 14 months, you no longer co-sleep with Ibu :)
We were sometimes worried, Khaira. At a year old, you were still behaving like a baby. You would wake up every 2 hours (Lucky cases, else every hour) to feed at night, you need your rest.
Abi said because you were too close to me and the smell of my milk made you distracted.
I did not argue with that. So, Ibu and Abi tried slowly to separate the bed, though my initial intention was to do that when you were 2.
I first tried to breastfeed you until you fell asleep, then I would carry you to your baby cot. But, it did not work. You would cry, and started to breastfeed again, and it was more tiring for both of us.
Last weekend, you developed an allergy towards tomato. Rashes caused you to have sleepless nights. I had even more sleepless nights, causing me to catch a flu on the third day. The flu worsened until I sneezed non-stop at 3 am, and decided to sleep separately from you to avoid the virus.
To my surprise, you sleep like a baby until the next day.
Since my flu persisted until the next day, I thought it was a sign. So that night, we put your bed next to Ibu and Abi's bed, and I breastfed you at your bed until you fell asleep. Then, I went to my own bed, it was better. You slept like a baby and woke up only one time to feed. And when I climbed into my bed, you were already in deep sleep by then.
Last night was day 2. You woke up in the middle of the night to feed, startled I was not next to you, quickly searched for me and immediately climbed into Ibu's bed. Saddd.. :( But I have to be strong, I can't be that clingy with you, kay. Else, I would make life harder for you in the future.
So, I held you gently and fed you to sleep. Held you a little longer and took that courage to climb up to my bed again.
It's for the best, Khaira Asyikin. You need a better sleep. And if you need anything, I'm still next to you, still wakes up at every moves you made and still holds you at every sounds you produced.. :)