Monday, September 20, 2010


You know the irony of love is that when you love or like that someone, you tend to be so freaking shy to even confront that someone.

Like when you were in primary or secondary school, you saw your teacher in the shopping mall, you'd try very hard to hide somewhere so that your teacher wouldn't see you there. What was it that we were so scared of, I wasn't sure.

After a while, I thought it was stupid.

So, when I got to uni, I'd be like, "Hye Sir!!!" "Hye, Mam" *waves excitedly* while my lecturers looked at me wondering, "Is she in my class?" But, only for a while. After that, I got kinda famous, my lecturers became the one who said "Hi" to me first. But, you know lecturers, they just had to add, "You were absent yesterday!" (Haiyo, mentang2 dah tau I'm in his/her class. Haha.)

A couple of days after Raya, I met one of the lecturers in Petronas near my house. I didn't think he knows me because he never taught me before, but i got so jakun and went to the lecturer and said, "Hye Sir! You're staying somewhere here?"

He looked at me all puzzled and said, "You're not my student, but you looked familiar."

"I am not," I said, laughing.

"Hey! You're not even a student. You're my colleague, why are you calling me 'Sir'?" he laughed.

Owh ya, sometimes I just forgot I'm a staff now.

So anyway, stop with that story. It has been a while, I've been hesitating to meet this particular Sifu.

But this time, I know the reason why.. because I was too scared that it would break my heart.

This morning, I decided to gather all the strength and still, my heart did break with the news.

But the difference when your loved one gives you a news that will break your heart is that at the same time, he will ensure you that everything will turn out to be ok in the end.

Sigh.. it is such SAD weeks. I've been ignoring my PhD research for quite some times because of the news. And for what? The world doesn't stop for my grief.

So, enough with the grief already, from now on, I am going to make a promise to myself. I'll spend 2 days for my research every week. Insya Allah.



Dr Sumayy said...


he will be missed... feel like leaving tooo.... now that he's away...

Dr. Ikeen said...

Not a valid reason at all to leave. Hahaha. He said, he doesn't want to leave, "it feels as if someone pushes me from the back to leave, but i don't want to leave". I bet you won't ;p at least not now.