Thursday, January 20, 2011

The power of letting go

A few days ago, Love went to KB for work with some of his colleagues. I guess along the way, he makes lots of new friends too.

As he got back, he was in this “OMG-I’m-so-glad-you’re-my-wife” mode.

What happened to him there?

Then, he told me a story that I pray I will forever remember.

I am not so sure how it started. I guess it started from a normal boring conversation in one of the coffee shop where he spent hours at every day he was in KB.

He said most of his friends almost had no life once they were married. The wives wanted the husbands’ life to resolve just around them.

Keluar malam with friends tak boleh. Jamming on the weekends tak boleh, kena beli barang for anak. Tengok bola at mamak, tak boleh.

Not that they did not love the wives, but they just did not feel happy as they used to.

The story made me feel insecure. I have absolutely no problems of letting him go anywhere he wants as for now. Jamming ke, bola ke, balik 3 pagi ke as long as no b***h involved ;p Because he returns back the freedom I gave by calling/smsing every hour, so.. you know.. would be mcm psycho la kan kalau u nak merapu jeles lagi or whatnot.

But, you know.. the only constant in life is change.

What happened to us once we have a baby? Would i still be the same? Would he truly be happy as what he feels with me now?

Insecurity.

I don’t want us to end up like that..

“I will never let you be that kind of person, Ikeen!” BFF Qdin shouted at me all the way from Aussie.

So glad we have friends as our reminder in daily life.

"Have you ever feel suffocated with me?" I asked him insecurely once he finished his story of 'Why I'm so glad you're my wife'.

"Once, long time ago, maybe masa our 2 or 3 years couple," He said. I nodded, the time when we argued a lot. Owh.. long term relationship did help after all.

"You feel suffocated having me around?" This time he asked insecurely.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!!!"

He is not the most secure person that would make you wonder whether he loves you or not. And not the most insecure person that makes you push him away.

He sits perfectly in the middle that makes you wonder how on earth does he play this game.

2 comments:

Dr Sumayy said...

nicely written. continue sharing.. :)

Dr. Ikeen said...

Sure will, insya Allah :) Let us keep remindinge each other :)