I was not so keen of changes.
As for now, Alhamdulillah, I have everything that I wanted in life. A very supportive family, a husband whom I deeply in love with (and who love me that deeply in return), a good career, some amazing friends – just complete.
As evil as it sounded, I had this little fear that everything would not be the same once I birthed my Little Precious (LP).
I was not proud of the fact that both Love and I had very minimal conversation with LP.
At times, I wonder if LP could really understand or could even actually listen to me. Even worse, I did not even know what to tell LP since I could not see him/her physically just as yet. It felt like talking to yourself, it felt funny.
And I did not believe in love at first sight.
I had this doubt of whether I can love LP that much the moment I first met him/her. But, I swear my second class of hypnobirthing got me fell in love with LP in ways that I could not ever imagine I would.
There’s a story told by my practitioner where a man was hypnotized and he was back in the moment when he was inside his mother’s womb and this guy felt a moment of ecstasy since the mother was bragging about him.
And there’s a story of a 6 years old girl who was playing with her toy and replicating the exact same moment happened when she was being delivered; the position of her parents, the stuff inside the labour room, even the colour and position of the mom’s slipper.
For more information about it you can read this book --> “Babies remember birth”
Then, it hit me.. If I was to provide the most positive environment to my baby, it has to start from the womb. And the first time LP sees the world, I must provide him/her with the most joyful time so that LP’s first perspective of the world will always be all rainbows and butterflies.
You always remember the first time when you experienced things, right? It’s always there somewhere very deep inside our complicated mind.
I remember my first visit to Italiannies, when Love brought me to a very romantic date and everything was perfect. And everytime I visit Italiannies, that wonderful feeling just lingers. I know my baby will feel the same thing too, the first time he/she sees this world, sees me and Love.
I pray very hard so that I would be able to smile at my very last push in labor, ever so happy to receive my baby and Love would choose his very best Baju Melayu for the delivery. I want an hour of bonding time before the nurse take my baby to nursery. I want to hold my baby, look at him/her and talk to him/her with joy and love.
Last night, we whispered to the baby to give us a sign, “If you’re a boy kick once. If you’re a girl, kick twice."
LP kicked me non-stop each time we asked the questions. He/she listened eventually. I have never loved him/her that much at that moment.
And I’m so thankful that Allah SWT opens my heart to join this class, who knows how badly I needed it after all. :)
P/S: Little Precious, it really doesn't matter whether you're a boy or girl, just give us a sign whenever you're ready. :)